fart poem.

[bakedbeans]

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known,
To sound just like a song.

Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.

A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly.

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.

So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.

 

[black_mamba]

Did you write this yourself?

I love toilet humour!

 

[pitkreet]

Reminds me of a diarrhoea song we used to sing in primary school...can't remember it all but a couple of line come to mind...

I was walking in the jungle and my bum began to rumble, diarrhoea, diarrhoea
I looked up to the sky and it dribbled in my eye, diarrhoea, diarrhoea
Some people think it's funny but it's really hot and runny, diarrhoea, diarrhoea
I was walking in the attic and my bum went automatic, diarrhoea, diarrhoea
It shoots out your bum like a bullet from a gun, diarrhoea, diarrhoea

I may be wrong, but I think it's an ancient hymn which was sung by Tuscan Monks in the 12th century...

 

[black_mamba]

You can tell a lot from someone's fart. What they've eaten recently, the velocity and exit area of the fart itself, the person's current mood.

8O

 

[black_mamba]

:lol:

All is true except about a person's mood.

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

:lol: Here's a fart joke I read a few years ago and thought it was really funny.



One day, Bob asked a beautiful girl out. Her name was Tammy. He
asked her if she wanted to go to the drive-in movie. She said
"sure". Bob was really excited, so when he got home he told his
Mom and asked her if she could make him a can of beans. Bob was
in so much of a rush that he gulped down the beans, got changed,
had a shower, an hour before he had to go pick her up.

Anyway, he finally left to go pick her up. She got in the car
and away they went. They started watching the movie and Bob all
of a sudden had a terrible cramp and he needed to fart. "Sh*t!"
he said to himself. "I need to fart but I can't because I'm with
a beautiful girl and, and, oh sh*t!"

He thought that he could just wait until the intermission to go
to the washroom. Finally it was intermission and he asked Tammy
if she would like some pop and popcorn. She said sure.

He got to the washroom, opened the door and saw a big line up.
"Damn!" he said. I guess I'll wait until the end of the movie.
He went back to the car and covered his stomach.

Finally, it was the end of the movie. He said to Tammy that
he'll be right back, he has just got to go to the washroom. He
got there, opened the door and there was still a big line up.
"Damn! I guess I'll wait until after I drop her off."

So they're driving home and Bob's intestines are about to
explode. They pulled up in Tammy's driveway and Tammy said, "Oh!
My Grandparents are here, come in and say hello."

Bob thinks to himself, "Damn! I need to fart but I have to go
in." So he said "Okay". They are all sitting down at the dinner
table and Bob is about to explode. He says to himself, "I've
really got to fart so I'll just let a little bit go at a time."
Meanwhile the dog, Duke, is sitting right beside him. "Bllllght!"

Tammy's father said "Duke!" and sat back down.

"Oh my gosh! They think it's the dog!"

"Bllllght!"

Again Tammy's father stands up and says "Duke!"

Finally, Bob lets it go really big, it's the biggest fart you've
ever heard. "Blllhhhttgggghtttttttbang!"

Tammy's father stands up and shouts "Duke! Get the hell out of
there before he sh*ts on ya!"

 

[black_mamba]

LoL! Toilet humour rawks.

 

[Kezada]

Beans, beans, are good for your heart
the more you eat, the more you fart
the more you fart, the more you eat
the more you seat on the toilet seat

Kezada