Exposure doesn't really help at all?!

JamieD

Well-known member
I know they say that exposure therapy is supposed to work wonders, but for me it does nothing, it maybe even makes it worse. Every time i go somewhere with loads of people i get the usual string of events.. blushing, mixing up my words, getting all hot and bothered, acting (and probably looking) awkward, staring at the floor because i hate people looking at me a thinking stuff, persistently thinking that when someone laughs- they're laughing at me. etc etc.. I just wish i could break the train of thought but i'm a pretty pessimistic person, so thinking positively just feels like i'm kidding myself. ::p: If nothing else i'd just like to be able to walk around town without turning bright red in the face for the whole time. It's really annoying as you undoubtedly all know. I think the main problem for me is that i feel like an outsider of my own age group (18/19ish) when i see people around my age- that's when it's the most anxiety provoking. I think i have an inferiority complex or something. Anybody else the same? Just wondering. :D
 

Richey

Well-known member
exposure seems to help in terms of "turning up" to intense social getherings but when it comes to conversation and people skills then its a completely different entity of skill and execution or delivery of opinion and wit...takes alot of practice and determination to improve at unless you're a natural in which case its easy.
 

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
i like how you put a smiley face next to "exposure doesnt really help"
could have written it myself, im the same way. lucky for me, i dont sweat or blush, but definately uncomfortable. we've all had to be around people our entire lives, i dont think anybody needs more of it. thats fine with lightening phobia or something particular, but when your afraid of everything! not so much. i think instead of practicing what you cant do, you ought to figure out what you can do. thats my theory
 

iamthenra

Well-known member
I'm getting a massive overdose of exposure therapy at college... Having to perform physical nursing skills out in front of my instructor, working with gorgeous girls half my age actually having to put my hand and stethoscope up their shirts!!! EEEK! and try to find their apical pulse and the instructor makes you have contact with the diaphragm of the stethoscope and skin we can't listen through clothes... A social phobes nightmare!!! In the last 4 months my tremors have become worse, I'm loosing hair, and I'm getting grayer by the minute. I even notice more wrinkles... I feel burned out, and I can honestly say I am glad that this first semester is over with. I honestly don't think exposure therapy really works for me. In fact I don't even know that I will even be able to be a nurse once I am done with the course.
 

Liberty

Banned
From my understanding it only helps if you train yourself to think positively as well. You also have to start out small in order to gain confidence. If you tackle small things that cause you anxiety, like asking a register clerk a question, and practice those eventually you get more confident. Then you can tackle harder "exposures". Throughout you have to force yourself to keep a positive outlook. This is difficult at first but just keep at it.

Some days it just doesn't work out. I just go home and go to sleep and rest and when I wake up I start again. I feel especially refreshed after a weekend. It's a good way to "reset" and continue with your positive thinking and confronting the anxiety.

It's essentially a power struggle between the anxiety's desires, which is basically avoiding all things that make you anxious, and your desires which is everything opposite of the anxiety. If the anxiety wants you to walk away from a group of people, you walk towards them. If the anxiety wants you to avoid a situation, you throw yourself into it. It can be discouraging dealing with the results of these exposures which is why you need to train yourself to think positively in order to make real progress.

If you don't you can expose yourself to anxiety-inducing situations over and over again and it will never help.
 

lyricalliaisons

Well-known member
I don't think exposure therapy works for everyone, I just think people love to think it does because maybe it has worked for them or for other people, or because it seems like it should.

I know for myself, it does no good at all. The more I go outside, the more I want to stay inside. Almost 9 years ago, my mom had a horrible stroke & I left the house nearly every single day & stayed at the hospital for hours with my her. I was always terrified to even leave the house, but nothing bad ever happened when I did, but it still certainly didn't help my condition. That was years ago, & I was exposed to people a lot, but I've still got very severe social anxiety/agoraphobia. I've went to college, gone to group therapy & none of it has helped. I've been leaving the house more this past couple weeks than I have in months, or maybe even years, but it's still very hard & being exposed doesn't make it any easier. I'm still terrified every time I do it.
 

Luthien

Well-known member
I think it could work for some people, but I don't even want to try it! I am totally house-bound and it's really been helping. I'm getting better and better every day. I think this is what works for me, maybe not for others, it's all relative because we're all different!

The important thing is to push your boundaries no matter what path you choose. For me, that means trying to take on more responsibilities around the house the better I get and soon I'm going to attempt to have company. It really helps that I now have my own studio which I can go hide in if I need to, but my next big scary mountain to tackle is having my boyfriend's family over (so far I've only been comfortable with his mom, but I've promised him to try other people as well). I definitely couldn't have done this two months ago, but I try to stay in touch with my own limitations, when I feel myself having more confidence and feeling more balanced, I try to do a new scary thing.

I think (for me) the way to re-immersing into the world is one step at a time. That works for me because I want to push myself, I want to help my boyfriend and sister who are saints for taking care of me, I want to take as much burden off of them as is possible for me at any moment.
 
Exposure only helps if you are aware of your every thought that you have,...

And sometimes is not about to be busy and go out all the time,you also have to spend time with yourself to know you, and to be yourself without the influence of others

sorry about my english :)
 
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