Does it get easier when you move out?

[FriendlyShadow]

What's it like when you've to move out of your parents' house and in your own words, does it get easier or harder when you're out on your own? For those who have moved out of their parents' house, how does it feel to be independent and did you find that being independent made things easier for you? Do you have much time to anything you like or are you overwhelmed with responsibilities? Also, does this make people with social anxiety/disabilities have a harder time with finding jobs and payment?

 

[Kiwong]

I would say, yes and no. It is important to not move away from family and become completely isolated and alone. I love my independence, but it is a two edged sword. I am so on my own, I can't even talk to people when I am around them. You've got to be exposed to people, to be able to function in this world.

 

[zharl]

Damn good question. I find myself wondering the same thing. It's weird finding that balance between independence and security.

On an unrelated note, is your location a reference to F-Zero?

 

[PugofCrydee]

It made me grow up.

I actually left home at 13. I love my independence.

 

[BlueDays]

I think it depends on the individual.

In my experience it made life 100 times harder.
All the stress, anxiety, depression is multiplied, and their is no safety net to fall onto when you feel like you are going to "loose it".

For many people like us I believe we should stay "in the nest" for the benefit of our sanity.
But again, it would depend on how bad your mental illness is. There are immense variations of what we suffer from.

I have lived out of "the nest" for 21 years now, and I would sell my soul to be able to get back in there.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I think it depends on the individual.

In my experience it made life 100 times harder.
All the stress, anxiety, depression is multiplied, and their is no safety net to fall onto when you feel like you are going to "loose it".

For many people like us I believe we should stay "in the nest" for the benefit of our sanity.
But again, it would depend on how bad your mental illness is. There are immense variations of what we suffer from.

I have lived out of "the nest" for 21 years now, and I would sell my soul to be able to get back in there.

That's kind of exactly what I was afraid of. I've relied so much on my parents to fend me, take care of me, do all the shopping and paying. Unfortunately, they're somewhat urging me to live out on my own and I don't think I'm ready for it now. It takes puts too much pressure upon myself and I haven't even learned too much of everything that you need to do to get through this life. I feel as if moving out will be extremely harder than it was when I lived in this house! I won't know what to do in case something goes wrong, in case I run out of money, in case there's a fire (luckily that occruence never happened in our home), in case someone breaks into my home/apartment with a gun or whatever, in case I go into a car crash or get lost, in case I run out of gas for my car, ect. I don't know if it's as harder if you're single and have no spouse for support/care. Can you actually make it on your own without having a relationship? I just don't know how I'll survive without my parent's reliance. I think I may die young if I didn't have them. :/

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Not only that, but I might come across violent/aggressive people in my life if say I walk down the streets alone and someone will pop out of nowhere and try to beat me/rob me/force me into sexual intercourse. Since this world is pretty full of violent, masochistic freaks, I wouldn't know how to physically defend myself either because I'm not a physically strong person to begin with. I probably bet if I fight back against that person, I will be pummeled twice as hard.

 

[Kiwong]

I'd love to still be independent, but I'd still love my parents to still be around to turn to. They supported me. Or at least a positive soul to be around that sees the best in me not the worst. My pet Lenny helped me in that regard. I've reached out to my sister and we've helped each other out. I realise I can't survive this alone, as much as I find being around people is.

 

[Louco]

That's kind of exactly what I was afraid of. I've relied so much on my parents to fend me, take care of me, do all the shopping and paying. Unfortunately, they're somewhat urging me to live out on my own and I don't think I'm ready for it now. It takes puts too much pressure upon myself and I haven't even learned too much of everything that you need to do to get through this life. I feel as if moving out will be extremely harder than it was when I lived in this house! I won't know what to do in case something goes wrong, in case I run out of money, in case there's a fire (luckily that occruence never happened in our home), in case someone breaks into my home/apartment with a gun or whatever, in case I go into a car crash or get lost, in case I run out of gas for my car, ect. I don't know if it's as harder if you're single and have no spouse for support/care. Can you actually make it on your own without having a relationship? I just don't know how I'll survive without my parent's reliance. I think I may die young if I didn't have them. :/

Parents urge their kids to move and have their own life because they worry about the future, when they won't be around anymore to support them. I'm sure your family don't want you away from them, they just want you to be ready for life when they are gone.

You should try to be more independent while still living with them. Try to find a job, buy your things and solve the problems around all on your own. When something breaks, try to fix it yourself, or at least learn how you could do it if you don't have the tools you need. Learn how to cook some easy but sustaining stuff like eggs, pasta, rice, beef.

You don't need to move to learn how to live on your own.

 

[arjuna]

I lived on my own for a while and I found it interesting. If you are like many of us on this site, with no social circle or even family, it can be stressful though. I found myself almost going insane at times because I didn't speak to anyone for over a week.

And as for the safety issue, you can always take up martial arts. They don't guarantee you a win, but they could raise your chances of coming out alive. Most people would agree that running constitutes the best thing you could do in that scenario.

 

[bsammy]

for some reason i thought when i moved out it would make me a much more social person in that since i wouldnt have family to talk to, id have to go out and find and meet people..NOPE, if anything i became more asocial and living on your own with anxiety problems, its very easy to fall deep into isolation...when you live on your own, you dont have to answer the door or phone etc etc..

whatever social disorder i have, its with me no matter if i have friends, live home or onmy own, in alaska or illinois..

 

[thecontents]

I am hungry. Hungry for food that my mom has stashed in the fridge. I feel like I will always be hungry now.

I don't think that anything will be special when I move out. My mom has a way of making everyone around her feel special, I think it's unconscious twerk she has.

I think if I move out everything will be boring. If I have friends, better, but still harsh. Friends don't always stick with you like family. And family doesn't always stick with you like friends. :crying::crying::crying::crying:

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Parents urge their kids to move and have their own life because they worry about the future, when they won't be around anymore to support them. I'm sure your family don't want you away from them, they just want you to be ready for life when they are gone.

You should try to be more independent while still living with them. Try to find a job, buy your things and solve the problems around all on your own. When something breaks, try to fix it yourself, or at least learn how you could do it if you don't have the tools you need. Learn how to cook some easy but sustaining stuff like eggs, pasta, rice, beef.

You don't need to move to learn how to live on your own.

I've already been volunteering at a Wildlife Animal Rehabilitation Center where I get to take care of the animals for four hours. It's not a paid job, but at least it's a start of heading towards indpendency. Although, I can clean up after myself, do the basic chores that need to be done (except the only chore I haven't quite figured how to do yet is doing laundry), I don't really want to be rushed so quickly into moving out on my own. My parents I'll admit, aren't very patient people, and because of that, it also worries me if I end up screwing up, they'll blow up on me. I don't drive either (neither have my friends yet) and I'd sure like to wait to do it soon. I think living in this particular family, it will get harder to move out because now they will probably expecting a lot more from me. I think I may be overwhelmed with too many responsibilities to worry on and am afraid of disappointing my parents because I've been mainly criticized all my life. :/

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I am hungry. Hungry for food that my mom has stashed in the fridge. I feel like I will always be hungry now.

I don't think that anything will be special when I move out. My mom has a way of making everyone around her feel special, I think it's unconscious twerk she has.

I think if I move out everything will be boring. If I have friends, better, but still harsh. Friends don't always stick with you like family. And family doesn't always stick with you like friends. :crying::crying::crying::crying:

Yeah, that's another thing I worry most. I worry that there'll be one day I won't have enough or no money to buy any food and I'll eventually starve myself to death. I don't know too much about paying for food (of course I know how to count out money though), and am afraid I'll rely on everyone else's money to buy for food which I don't want to enter that route. That'd sure drive the people around me away because of my constant neediness. I don't know how I'm gonna survive alone :/. I don't think things will get easier for me when I move out to be honest. Maybe it does for some people, but living in a family like this for years now has put twice as much stress on me than I would have needed. I know most teenagers my age would be mostly excited to have their own freedom when they move out, but I haven't lived a particularly great life to begin with. More stress is going to be piled onto me and my anxiety will increase further if I moved out. Plus, I wouldn't probably get anything out of it except for having my freedom and that's it. Unfortunately, it's not a care free world when we do move out. People always say making friends becomes harder as you get older, and I'm starting think that might be true now. What's harder is finding someone that actually does care about you. There's not too many people in this world whom can support others when they need it most, which is really sad.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

for some reason i thought when i moved out it would make me a much more social person in that since i wouldnt have family to talk to, id have to go out and find and meet people..NOPE, if anything i became more asocial and living on your own with anxiety problems, its very easy to fall deep into isolation...when you live on your own, you dont have to answer the door or phone etc etc..

whatever social disorder i have, its with me no matter if i have friends, live home or onmy own, in alaska or illinois..

Yeah, but to be honest, I'd rather prefer my solitude at any chance when I can get to it. I don't like to interact with people so much, even though I feel forced to do it because of peers/parents. I realized that it's equally as stressful for me to come up with things to say to another person and I just don't feel as if I'm being myself. I also do it just so that people won't put the labels on me for being so quiet because it puts me in an embarassing position. In most cases, I just don't have anything in particular I want to say to those people because I have nothing on my mind. I bet it's due to how people see me act around them, that they think I'm this bubbly, social, friendly person when I'm only doing it because I don't want to fall into the guilt trap they put me in for being quiet. I'd rather just flat out say I don't feel like talking but I know they'd STILL find ways to put me down.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Here is a perfect example of how I'd actually want to talk to someone who keeps having to pester me with questions about my quietness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cOfiZjxTd8

Too bad that would only get me labeled for being a rude *****

 

[Jessquietgirl]

Here is a perfect example of how I'd actually want to talk to someone who keeps having to pester me with questions about my quietness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cOfiZjxTd8

Too bad that would only get me labeled for being a rude *****

Thom Yorke rocks!

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Thom Yorke rocks!

:thumbup:Yeah, I agree! It's just when I saw that video, he kind of reminded me of myself. In fact, I think him does remind me quite a lot of myself to be honest, how we both speak to people and our mannerisms as well. Funnily enough, we both write about similar depressing music. He's like my idol, someone I'd definitely want to hang out with.

 

[PhantomPod]

I love living on my own! I lived on my own in a condo for 4 years but I just bought a house and moved in a week ago and I love it! It is just my dog and I.

I think it was good for me to become more independent. I didn't feel stressed out about having to be responsible for doing everything for myself. I also don't feel lonely very often anymore, but I honestly feel like part of that is just due to my age at this point. I am 29 now, so I feel like I've sort of just accepted that I'm gonna be stuck on my own with no friends and no boyfriend. I'm so used to being alone that's I've just accepted my fate.

I am close to my family though, so they do still help me and are there for me. For example, I just had a fence installed at my house and I was a bit scared of being home alone while the man was installing the fence. I legit had a baseball bat and pepper spray near me in case he acted sketchy (I hired a guy on Craigslist for cheap). But my grandfather and my dad were helpful and they came to my house when the fence installer was here so that I was not home alone for the entire time he was installing the fence.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

In my case it got easier because I was extremely unhappy with my parents.

yes, of course there was more responsabilities because I had to make a living while being a student, but the relief of being away from them was bigger than that. In fact, I slowly started to get better from the moment I left.