79_89_99IneIneIne
Well-known member
I don't know if it is just my anxiety that makes me think that people on this forum and other forums I belong to do not like me or if I really am unwanted. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Do you ever feel like you are unwanted or disliked on this forum?
- Thread starter 79_89_99IneIneIne
- Start date
blue-roses
Well-known member
Absolutely; I've already considered leaving this forum several times because I feel ignored. It's not just this one, though - I leave every board I'm on eventually for the same reason.
Not unwanted, but I feel I talk a lot of crap that makes no sense and people who read my posts are laughing at them
aye, me too, i was having a discussion the other night, and im sure im too loud on here, but i dont know how to shut up!
Nicholas
Well-known member
I very often feel ignored, but after considering everything more carefully (CBT style), I usually realize that:
1) I might feel ignored because I expect others to pay too much attention to me. I have very high expectations (which could be called "dreams" sometimes).
2) I might be ignored by most people because that's what I do too: I just ignore most of the posts. Who answers in every thread to every post? No one. Most just answer in some thread, to some posts, which means we are all ignoring each other most of the time, in practice.
3) No one even reads all of the posts once the thread has become long enough. Long posts tend to be skipped or are not read completely too.
The most important point is point no. 1 though. Too high expectations. If you want others to pay attention to you, it's just because you need someone and you are tired to be lonely.
So now I would like to get at least ten replies from nice pretty girls, saying "Oh my god, I agree with you, I'm in love with you, let's meet and make a baby and live together in my castle cuz I'm a princess"... but that would still be my "too high expectations". With all this in mind, I'll find it reasonable to just expect maybe only one "I agree with you" from anybody, and that's it.
1) I might feel ignored because I expect others to pay too much attention to me. I have very high expectations (which could be called "dreams" sometimes).
2) I might be ignored by most people because that's what I do too: I just ignore most of the posts. Who answers in every thread to every post? No one. Most just answer in some thread, to some posts, which means we are all ignoring each other most of the time, in practice.
3) No one even reads all of the posts once the thread has become long enough. Long posts tend to be skipped or are not read completely too.
The most important point is point no. 1 though. Too high expectations. If you want others to pay attention to you, it's just because you need someone and you are tired to be lonely.
So now I would like to get at least ten replies from nice pretty girls, saying "Oh my god, I agree with you, I'm in love with you, let's meet and make a baby and live together in my castle cuz I'm a princess"... but that would still be my "too high expectations". With all this in mind, I'll find it reasonable to just expect maybe only one "I agree with you" from anybody, and that's it.
redski
1
That is exactly what I think and how I have been behaving. I am trying to change this.
It's hard though I guess I have been at it for 28 years so it is not something I will be able to change over night.
Well said.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
aye, me too, i was having a discussion the other night, and im sure im too loud on here, but i dont know how to shut up!
But it's a good thing if you talk! you have all the right to do so
lunarla
Well-known member
Yes, and I was thinking of this the other day actually. It doesn't really break my heart or anything, but it's at the back of my mind. As with any forum, there are originals and people that have been here longer and already have formed some kind of union in a way. Although this is probably the best community on a forum I've ever experienced, I still feel a little left out sometimes. Like I'm too young or something, I don't know.
Silvox Black
Well-known member
Oh most certainly I feel that way. Quite often I feel that my words are disregarded since I have no intellectual worth whatsoever, thus I wonder "why bother"?
meatcake
1
i just want to say i'm surprised that you guys feel that way - you all seem like such a part of the forum, even the newer members. i always feel like an outsider. it must be due to the desire for more feedback and acknowledgement, which is maybe a bit hard to come by on a site full of slightly avoidant people. but i really appreciate reading what you guys write.
Harleyq
Well-known member
I highly doubt that. I read your profile and you're studying to be a psychologist and you enjoy debating. If you're successfully pulling that off, there's no way you don't have any intellectual worth. You have to be open-minded and able to see many sides of an argument, which is more than what most people do.
I have a feeling that some members (on any message board, not just this one) feel the way you do and try to compensate by purposefully writing things they feel will make others regard them as intelligent and/or cultured, without fully realizing that they already make worthwhile contributions to the forums when they're not trying so hard.
Silvox Black
Well-known member
Ha. Simply wishing to become a psychologist and actually achieving that goal are not one and the same. I will not say that I am intelligent until my actions can prove such a claim. For me, I do not see myself successfully studying and debating. If anything I am caught in a mire of my own ineptitude. I attempt to be open minded, yet all I see is a pathetic little boy trying to be older in a world that does not want him.