"Crush-Addiction"

[madness_lover]

I was just wondering..Does anybody here suffers from what I like to call 'Crush-addiction'? Meaning that for whatever reason, be it your own loneliness or out of control hormones, you just can't help but get "crushes" on people rather quickly or several crushes one after the other in a very short period of time? Almost feel like you just can't spend more than a month without liking someone?



How do you deal with this?

 

[Tiercel]

I'm a bit like this too, since I don't meet many ladies. But a lack of obvious physical beauty, critically low self esteem, and no "guts" to do anything pretty much keep me from having to deal with it. I seem to grasp at anything: looks, personality, hobbies, interests, location, etc.

I ascribe mine to loneliness. My thoughts and feelings pretty much go like this:
"Female.... hmmm... Yes... Yes?.. NO! Goodbye... Oh, well."

So if you are a female of the human species, you can feel free to flatter yourself by knowing that I've already decided not to pursue you further. And that goes for just about every female of the human species, not just you in particular.

 

[madness_lover]

lol..well that happens to me quite a bit. I ascribe mine to the fact that I've never really had close male friends before like now and I was 'trained' to think men were creatures not to be thought of as merely friends lmao. Sometimes it's not even physical, it can be that we a similar personality, lot of things in common, taste in music etc... bam! got a crush just like that! But yeah I've either never had the guts to do anything about it, they were out of my league or my own insecurity screwed things up. I hate it. I don't want to be like that, I just want to have fun with my new found male friends and enjoy the friendship. Damn this thing!

 

[BDDgirl]

Crush addiction? Not a term I'm familiar with. Could be a borderline personality disorder trait or Love addiction, maybe a word to a shrink might reveal some underlying problem?

 

[BlackPuma]

Not something I'm comfortable over to admit, but yes. I also have the tendency to get a crush on people.

There was this time where I had a really big crush on someone I knew online. It started with jokes, then small talk, so on, it just clicked. But seeing as both she, and I had boyfriends I couldn't really tell her as it would set both our relationships on the line. So I waited for it to ''pass''. And I waited.. and waited.. I even tried to hate her in order to get over it, but that didn't go so well either. It hurt me more then it helped me cause. Almost 2 years went by.

Then I got here, met others like myself, and didn't feel so alone anymore. And I have to say, the crush just sort of dissolved. It's still there in minimal portions, but is no longer a burden. My boyfriend isn't very supportive about the whole social phobia/anxiety thing, so it's impossible to ask him for help regarding this subject, making it hard to relate most of time. Maybe the crush was a desperate attempt to relate to someone.

Could it perhaps be that the crushes you have on people are unconscious attempts to find friendship, love and someone to relate to?

 

[illuminationSP]

Does anybody here suffers from what I like to call 'Crush-addiction'? Meaning that for whatever reason, you just can't help but get "crushes" on people rather quickly or several crushes one after the other in a very short period of time? Almost feel like you just can't spend more than a month without liking someone?

I'm guilty.

Could it perhaps be that the crushes you have on people are unconscious attempts to find friendship, love and someone to relate to?

I'm guilty.

Could be a borderline personality disorder trait or love addiction

I'm definitely guilty.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Nope, definitely not. It takes me time to develop anything meaningful. I'm also not always open to anything happening, period. Even when I am most girls don't really appeal to me in any deeper sense.

I dont think im the only person on the planet though..who can have 'real' feelings for someone..pretty much right from the go.

I used to have a problem with projecting my own idealistic hopes onto someone, really wanting her to be something she wasn't, and feeling hurt when I realized she wasn't. Do you think you might be doing this?

 

[Shadowplay]

Yes, I am very prone to getting crushes especially on people I barely even know. I tend to admire from afar and picture them as this perfect person and end up disappointed when I actually get to know them.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Shadowplay--Joy Division?

 

[Shadowplay]

Shadowplay--Joy Division?

Indeed .

 

[Nack]

Yes unfortunately.

I can pretty much fall for someone online, instantly..whatever. I dont know what it is with me tbh. I think it's a mix of having no experience of a serious relationship..along with my incredible daily struggle with loneliness.

There isnt a day that passes..whereas my heart and soul arent reminded how painful it is..not having that female touch/presence in my life. Some people could call it desperate..or whatever they want..but nah..i dont see or feel it like that. It's not as if i dont ever get any attention from girls.

It's moreas an automatic feeling and urge in my body day in day out. Even though im struggling with mental issues..BDD/SA..i still hope to find my soulmate at any time. If she is the 'one' and she is possibly the soulmate i've been looking for..then nothing else matters...no matter what the conditions or situation is at the time.

If we truly like each other for who we are..then we'll both find strength in each other. Aswell as carrying on improving ourselves indivdually...we can also be each others 'ultimate' therapist.

The life ahead for both of us..would be well worth the patience and understanding of each other throughout those early months..or even year or two of initial contact. It's my whole life I think about..when i talk about a soulmate..a companion. It's just very difficult finding someone who has the same thoughts as me..a person who is also looking for just that 'one' other person in their life..their 'whole' life.

I have such a weak heart really. An open genuine honest heart..but a weak heart none the less. It's this weak heart that can cause me trouble..because i seem to easily have feelings for someone just 'online'. I dont think im the only person on the planet though..who can have 'real' feelings for someone..pretty much right from the go. I just think it's rare thats all. That person im looking for probably thinks the same..she probably also questions whether 'i exist' aswell.

Im sick of being told 'this is how you do it' or 'this is always the way it has been done'. No...i'll do it my way. Like i said..if she is truly the one for me..then nothing else matters..we'll find strength in each other..through love and understanding..nothing at all matters..that includes all of the doubters.

Anyways so yeah. I can be drawn or attracted to someone pretty easily..it's just finding that special person..unique to me..that is proving difficult...but not impossible.

I'm afraid for you... I really am. It all sounds too surreal for me. Its gonna take a while to find that "sou lmate" through a lot of trial and errors. But if you're lucky, you might just find that person on the first try, or for some never... But don't count on that luck. Really I'm just saying that when you do find someone, don't pour your heart and soul into that person; trust her completely just yet. Because chances are she won't exactly be what you would hope. And that fragile heart of yours, it will get shattered, and its gonna take a looong time to heal. If something goes wrong...

 

[shy Ty]

You're not alone. I think I'm also a "crush addict". I've had more than a few myself, and they've never gone anywhere. My latest crush is this girl I've worked with for a while. I have fun talking with her, and it took a lot out of me to ask for her number. Still, I sense she doesn't see me in the same way, and for my own good I just don't know how to stop crushing. ::

 

[lonely_drummer]

You're not alone. This happens to me all the time and it drives me nuts. When it happens its usually not just a physical attraction or anything, its usually if a girl just spends time and actually talks to me and if we can have a good conversation, I usually get a little crush on her. Must be the loneliness but its still annoying because I know for a fact that I may feel this way towards her but she obviously doesn`t feel the same towards me. I used to even fool myself into thinking that she feels the same way and then the attraction grows even stronger. however I just keep telling myself, ok she doesnt like you, just forget about it and I usually do

 

[Tempus35]

You're not alone. This happens to me all the time and it drives me nuts. When it happens its usually not just a physical attraction or anything, its usually if a girl just spends time and actually talks to me and if we can have a good conversation, I usually get a little crush on her. Must be the loneliness but its still annoying because I know for a fact that I may feel this way towards her but she obviously doesn`t feel the same towards me. I used to even fool myself into thinking that she feels the same way and then the attraction grows even stronger. however I just keep telling myself, ok she doesnt like you, just forget about it and I usually do

Been there

 

[rosie_lea]

I get this often, I'm gullible aswell and can be easily wooed

 

[lyricalliaisons]

That has happened to me a lot, especially when I was a teenager. It doesn't happen as much now, but I still get little mini-crushes all the time. Usually on tv characters, etc.

 

[mrb]

yea i soppose so but for me its not so much a crush its a connection ..

 

[Misfortune]

I'm so sick of having crushes, I always wind up getting rejected, it happens to me all the time. I prefer having a loving relationship. IMO having a crush will only lead to a big downfall.::

 

[Pookah]

I try not to get too hopeful too soon over people in a crush way because more often than not, like someone said, it is your idea of them and maybe not the actual person. It takes time to get to know someone.

 

[seafolly]

During my healthier, more social years, no, not at all. In fact over three years at one university I had my eye on two guys, total. A closer look revealed they weren't who I thought they were but I wasn't all that fixated in the first place. During lonelier times I'm more prone to develop a crush, yes. Even online. Actually, at the age of 25, I can think of seven guys in total, mixing real life relationships and online, that I developed true crushes on. I guess I'm picky. o.0