Can't throw her away...

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Well, its a long story... So feel free to leave if you don't want to read it. If you want to know and try to help feel free to continue, but I warn it may take some reading but thank you if you choose too.

Well I knew this girl through out my whole life. She was always bullied, like me. She didn't know where to turn so she fell into a deep depression, she started using drugs and skipping school. Well I never seen her for years she almost seemed like a faded memory. 3 years ago she was at the campground I stay at every summer to work. I recognized her so I said hello, she didn't know who I was at the moment because I had started wearing black and had my hair dyed on top of that I was smoking. Through out her life she always knew me as a good person. We started to talk and she introduced me to her daughter who was only a few months old at the time. Eventually we started to hangout everyday. I finally opened up and told her about my schizophrenia, autism, depression and anxiety. She still hasn't told a soul.

Then one day I went up to her and asked would she go out on a date with me. She said yes. Well as we planned for the date, her friend who didn't like me went out of her way to corrupt us. Then one night that person got extremely drunk. Maria (that's her name) was scared, she didn't want to watch her baby and have to watch a drunk person at the same time. I told her I would stay. That night I put her baby to sleep when Maria came to the trailer her baby was tucked in and sound asleep. The girl Maria had to watch passed out. It was quiet so I decided to lay beside Maria to watch the movie with her. That's when she put her head on my shoulder, after a few minutes she looked up at me and we kissed. I felt a feeling I have never felt before, I kissed girls before, but with her it felt different.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of that moment. Her friend succeeded and corrupted me. I told Maria to stick as friends, I still regret that, I can't sleep at night because of it.

The years went by and we seen each other everyday. She went into multiple relationships, all of the guys were the same. Jack asses who treated her like absolute crap. It broke my heart to see her treated that way, I was always her shoulder to cry on. Deep down I cared more then ever I would do anything to see her happy.

Then came along the worst guy to ever enter this story. He was with her for a year. I met him only once and just the essence of him was bad. He would always give me bad eyes, be aggressive at me and all together not like me. I got scared and left when I should have been there the most. He beat her, called her ugly, fat, and gross. She eventually broke things off with him, she was a mess. I invited her over for the day at my house. She was quiet most of the time. I tried my best to cheer her up, I made her smile and laugh, something she hadn't done in a long time. Like 3 years ago she put her head on my shoulder. I didn't kiss her or anything, I held her because as much as I wanted her to be mine, I knew deep inside I needed to be here for her. She developed an eating disorder due to all the abuse he did. She wouldn't eat unless I did. I wasn't hungry at all but I made her something and I ate with her just so she would eat. To this day she still thanks me for all I have done.

a few weeks passed, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had the feeling for a year and I needed to tell her. She told me she still loved that *** and she wished she didn't. I told her I loved someone to and I knew I couldn't have them. She asked who, I said someone you know very well. I remember the silence that went on for what seemed hours but was really 40 seconds. She said is it me and I told her it was. She was shocked, but so happy I told her.

another 2 weeks passed and my nightmare became true that abuser charmed his way back into her life. 4 months passed, I hadn't spoken to her and I always thought about her. A week ago I got a message from her on facebook. It happened again but worse, he almost killed her. He now has 3 charges of assault and is going to jail. At the moment she is at a safe house. She doesn't talk to anyone but family. She doesn't trust anyone, but oddly she talks to me every night, and has told me she never lost trust in me. I just wish I could have kept her when I had the chance, or none of this would have happened some how I feel like I am the one who caused this. If I stayed with her 3 years ago. None of this would have happened, every time something bad happens I'm there for her. Do you think she would ever notice and take me. I just can't stop thinking of her and on top of that I know no matter how mad she makes me I can't push her out of my life. I never felt this about a person I thought I did before but I never did. These 3 years have been a roller coaster.

That's my sappy story I'm sorry if I bored you if you read it all thank you. If you have any advice I'm open to suggestions.
 
Well, its a long story... So feel free to leave if you don't want to read it. If you want to know and try to help feel free to continue, but I warn it may take some reading but thank you if you choose too.

Well I knew this girl through out my whole life. She was always bullied, like me. She didn't know where to turn so she fell into a deep depression, she started using drugs and skipping school. Well I never seen her for years she almost seemed like a faded memory. 3 years ago she was at the campground I stay at every summer to work. I recognized her so I said hello, she didn't know who I was at the moment because I had started wearing black and had my hair dyed on top of that I was smoking. Through out her life she always knew me as a good person. We started to talk and she introduced me to her daughter who was only a few months old at the time. Eventually we started to hangout everyday. I finally opened up and told her about my schizophrenia, autism, depression and anxiety. She still hasn't told a soul.

Then one day I went up to her and asked would she go out on a date with me. She said yes. Well as we planned for the date, her friend who didn't like me went out of her way to corrupt us. Then one night that person got extremely drunk. Maria (that's her name) was scared, she didn't want to watch her baby and have to watch a drunk person at the same time. I told her I would stay. That night I put her baby to sleep when Maria came to the trailer her baby was tucked in and sound asleep. The girl Maria had to watch passed out. It was quiet so I decided to lay beside Maria to watch the movie with her. That's when she put her head on my shoulder, after a few minutes she looked up at me and we kissed. I felt a feeling I have never felt before, I kissed girls before, but with her it felt different.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of that moment. Her friend succeeded and corrupted me. I told Maria to stick as friends, I still regret that, I can't sleep at night because of it.

The years went by and we seen each other everyday. She went into multiple relationships, all of the guys were the same. Jack asses who treated her like absolute crap. It broke my heart to see her treated that way, I was always her shoulder to cry on. Deep down I cared more then ever I would do anything to see her happy.

Then came along the worst guy to ever enter this story. He was with her for a year. I met him only once and just the essence of him was bad. He would always give me bad eyes, be aggressive at me and all together not like me. I got scared and left when I should have been there the most. He beat her, called her ugly, fat, and gross. She eventually broke things off with him, she was a mess. I invited her over for the day at my house. She was quiet most of the time. I tried my best to cheer her up, I made her smile and laugh, something she hadn't done in a long time. Like 3 years ago she put her head on my shoulder. I didn't kiss her or anything, I held her because as much as I wanted her to be mine, I knew deep inside I needed to be here for her. She developed an eating disorder due to all the abuse he did. She wouldn't eat unless I did. I wasn't hungry at all but I made her something and I ate with her just so she would eat. To this day she still thanks me for all I have done.

a few weeks passed, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had the feeling for a year and I needed to tell her. She told me she still loved that *** and she wished she didn't. I told her I loved someone to and I knew I couldn't have them. She asked who, I said someone you know very well. I remember the silence that went on for what seemed hours but was really 40 seconds. She said is it me and I told her it was. She was shocked, but so happy I told her.

another 2 weeks passed and my nightmare became true that abuser charmed his way back into her life. 4 months passed, I hadn't spoken to her and I always thought about her. A week ago I got a message from her on facebook. It happened again but worse, he almost killed her. He now has 3 charges of assault and is going to jail. At the moment she is at a safe house. She doesn't talk to anyone but family. She doesn't trust anyone, but oddly she talks to me every night, and has told me she never lost trust in me. I just wish I could have kept her when I had the chance, or none of this would have happened some how I feel like I am the one who caused this. If I stayed with her 3 years ago. None of this would have happened, every time something bad happens I'm there for her. Do you think she would ever notice and take me. I just can't stop thinking of her and on top of that I know no matter how mad she makes me I can't push her out of my life. I never felt this about a person I thought I did before but I never did. These 3 years have been a roller coaster.

That's my sappy story I'm sorry if I bored you if you read it all thank you. If you have any advice I'm open to suggestions.

Ask her out. She might say yes. At the very least she needs to keep away from that douche bag. Are you willing to take her and her kid? Kind of a package deal ain't it? You might need to get in tune to the fact that you should be ready to move on and forget her if she's gonna keep hooking up with losers too so. Do plan A but have plan B in your back pocket too, ya know? Okay then :thumbup:
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Ask her out. She might say yes. At the very least she needs to keep away from that douche bag. Are you willing to take her and her kid? Kind of a package deal ain't it? You might need to get in tune to the fact that you should be ready to move on and forget her if she's gonna keep hooking up with losers too so. Do plan A but have plan B in your back pocket too, ya know? Okay then :thumbup:

Believe me I am ready to take her and her daughter in, I love her daughter. I'm one of the only people she trusts her daughter with. I know I should if she does but I don't know its just hard. I care about her so much that its hard to just get rid of her.
 
Believe me I am ready to take her and her daughter in, I love her daughter. I'm one of the only people she trusts her daughter with. I know I should if she does but I don't know its just hard. I care about her so much that its hard to just get rid of her.

I understand but if the feeling ain't mutual then you're wasting time that you could be spending with somebody else, mkay?
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I understand but if the feeling ain't mutual then you're wasting time that you could be spending with somebody else, mkay?

I think she does feel mutual because before she went back with him she realized how much I cared and wanted to give me a second chance and she said if she does go back with him and it doesn't work I might still have a chance so I'm just being patient.
 
she said if she does go back with him and it doesn't work I might still have a chance so I'm just being patient.

Look at what you just said. ...... she said if it don't work with him you MIGHT have a chance? Am i reading that right? Seriously? What like you're supposed to wait on her to decide which one of you she wants? I'd make it real easy for her to decide cause my *** would be long gone. Pffft plenty of women out there. They been making em in all shapes and sizes for years so I wouldn't get caught waiting on ONE of countless millions to decide if she wants me or not. Don't let me smell fear on ya though if that's what ya wanna do. Good luck.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Look at what you just said. ...... she said if it don't work with him you MIGHT have a chance? Am i reading that right? Seriously? What like you're supposed to wait on her to decide which one of you she wants? I'd make it real easy for her to decide cause my *** would be long gone. Pffft plenty of women out there. They been making em in all shapes and sizes for years so I wouldn't get caught waiting on ONE of countless millions to decide if she wants me or not. Don't let me smell fear on ya though if that's what ya wanna do. Good luck.

Sorry that scared me, I guess I just care to much :kickingmyself:
 
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