Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Well I hope you don't think that I was suggesting that at all. I think "a cold bitch" is the very last thing I would describe you as. :
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Being a "regular" at a store..
- Thread starter HeadFace
- Start date
Well I hope you don't think that I was suggesting that at all. I think "a cold bitch" is the very last thing I would describe you as. :
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
I'm sorry if sounded like that.:
: Now that I reread my post I think you're right, and I should probably start thinking before I press submit. Wasn't my intent at all to make you sound like cold bitch.:: . . . ::
Pookah
Well-known member
I'm not saying you guys meant it that way....I just was feeling like I was coming off that way. I just can't explain the creepy aspect well enough. I don't have much experience with people liking me, true, but this is totally outside the realm of that. I think if you talk to someone it should arise from some kind of reason. Not out of nowhere to strangers passing you by. I don't think he based it at all on who I am rather than I may have looked easy to prey upon or something else superficial is why I have a problem.
I find it more reasonable when say, you are looking at the same book in a store maybe. That is at least an organic situation that can lead to conversation. Not hey look at that shy girl going to get groceries lets say hi in a completely random way from far away.
I find it more reasonable when say, you are looking at the same book in a store maybe. That is at least an organic situation that can lead to conversation. Not hey look at that shy girl going to get groceries lets say hi in a completely random way from far away.
Pookah
Well-known member
In real life when in public I have my head down, eyes on the ground, frowny face, twitchy/nervous countenance and generally looking like please god don't bother me I just want to make it past this obstacle course! I don't know if that puts it into perspective anymore? I think he once said I had a nice smile. I found this odd because I don't really smile. I only smiled in a tight uncomfortable way.
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Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
His approach does seem a little extreme, and I can see how it would indeed come across as creepy, or at the very least might bother you and make you feel uncomfortable. Shouting across a parking lot isn't the way most guys would choose to approach someone. At least I'd hope not.
And yeah, I agree that it is more usual for these things to arise from a common interest. It usually does for me, but then I'm a socialphobe. For more extroverted people, perhaps it's sometimes just a case of "I find that girl attractive, I'm going to just go over and start talking to her". But even then, as I say, shouting across a parking lot is more than a little odd.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
So you walk around in public with the same attitude as me, "please, please don't talk to me." And this random guy you don't even know says hi, an obstacle you didn't expect. Now every time you go to the store you have to deal with this new obstacle, some creepy guy who knows nothing about you (at first at least.) Anyone who talks to me without knowing anything about me except how I look is suspicious, especially if I obviously don't want to talk. But that just might be my "viewing the world as unfriendly, cold, and humiliating" seeing it is a symptom of AvPD...
BlueDays
1
I find it awkward because I am always worried that the cashiers at my local grocery store will start to feel so "familiar" towards me that they may start asking me more personal questions about my day etc. More indepth then the usual "how has your day been?".
I try to go into different checkouts at the store each time I shop, so that one cashier does not get "familiar" with me.
I'm having this problem now. I've gone to a particular store about 6-7 times already and each time I keep seeing this really cute blond girl. Shes started to notice me and last few times she has smiled and said hi to me. And just yesterday she asked how I was.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
And so it begins...
She works there. Its actually kind of making me a little nervous because I am afraid she may ask me things and get to know me better. Another thing shes one of those type of girls that Im sure lots of guys hit on, and the thing is, when you are around those type of girls guys' egos explode. And it turns into this game of trying to impress girls. I really don't like that type of situation.
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vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Well go in thinking she has a boyfriend, and act that way. No need to impress if she's already taken, and may take some of the stress off.
I'm not trying to impress at all, I never try to impress anyone. To be honest, I think girls sometimes get attracted to me because of this. I think people can tell when someone is genuinely humble and not full of ****.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Oh, I thought when you said "I really don't like that type of situation" you were talking about yourself, my bad. Humility is a nice thing to have, as long it doesn't turn into an esteem problem.
lunaticbinge
Well-known member
Wow, tell me about it. Thats one reason why I don't really go anywhere females might be involved with the couple of "friends" I do have. It's pathetic selling your friends and yourself down the river just so you can look a little better in the eyes of some girl you just met. It makes me lose so much respect for them as people. Of course I get looked down upon and ridiculed for being my reserved self and not ripping on everyone around me
Yep I'm sure theres plenty of other guys who can relate to this type of thing. Nowadays though if someone tries to make me look stupid on front of a girl, or anyone, I WILL embarrass them. I am totally prepared to start swinging.
HeadFace
Well-known member
Lol, we're in the same boat. I'm not afraid to react, at all. Especially in public.
Anyway we moved like two monthes ago or so (Same city, barely a mile away from our old house lol) and I already noticed that one of the employee's at a nearby resturaunt has taken noticed that I'm starting to become a "regular". When I ask for a refill (fast-food joint, mind you) she's tried (twice) to initiate a conversation. She asked me how everything was. Ofcourse being the loser I am, I just respond with "Oh.. Everythings good", and then get my refill. It sucks because every time I go in there, the same employee is working the cashier.
I hate this!
I order the same thing also at restaurants I'm a regular at.
Idk, I think the employees don't like me, and may spit in my food.
But if I don't go to a place a lot I think well they don't have any opinion of me so they won't spit in my food.
SA makes me a little paranoid.
I order the same thing also at restaurants I'm a regular at.
Idk, I think the employees don't like me, and may spit in my food.
But if I don't go to a place a lot I think well they don't have any opinion of me so they won't spit in my food.
SA makes me a little paranoid.
HeadFace
Well-known member
Yeah, same. Everytime I walked into a store I was a regular at, I thought that all the employee's watched me, even if I used the self checkout thing. I always tried to rush in (heh. Rush in. Russian. I crack myself up) and rush out. On my way there I always try to know exactly what I'm going to get and where it is and the route and... everything. Lol, it makes me completely paranoid as well. Even now, too. I worry if that cashier's going to be there, or maybe I should goto a different food place.