I have thought about the subject, suicide, but I've never considered doing it myself. But that's not for selfish reasons - maybe sometimes I do wish, I wasn't born, but still it would kill me to hurt my family like that. My father, my mother, my brother, my uncle, my grandmother would all just be miserable, as I would if I lost them. And besides them I do have some people who would be very sad if I left earth.
But had my family not been so supportive, I would have probably jumped off a building by now. I would miss them everyday, if I had to live without them.
On the other hand I don't see a bright future - the older you get the more do people tend to go with their beloved once, but if I never find someone like that, I'm going to die alone, and that's what makes me cry every single night. I do have friends about once a week but I still feel so damn lonely in my apartment.
I'm not happy with the fact I am alive. I regret being born in the first place. Ideally speaking, I wish I was aborted as a baby... or never been existent in the first place.
Live is beuatiful if u can live with out fear. I was blessed many times with beautiful moments in my life and spend non forgeting times. I use anyway wish dont be never born and i feel very sad about it. Because live is a dare. Dare wich should be given to someone else.
I actually am happy I'm alive, despite all the sh*t life has managed to throw at me. I live for the people I love and the hope that things will get better... well, that and the fact that I'm scared of death.
If I wasn't alive I wouldn't be able to be happy about anything.
We often say when we're down that we 'feel nothing', but no one alive can comprehend what true nothingness feels like. There's no dreaming in death, and you can fantasize all you want about Heaven or reincarnation but I've never gotten a postcard from the former and have never had a dog say "Hi! Remember me?" concerning the latter, so if a baby's giggle or an old episode of Jackass can release an endorphin or two and I'm around to feel it, I'll stick around.
Besides, in ten years, 70" TV's will cost about $100 and I wanna bigger screen.
It's really uplifting to see that a lot of people are glad to be alive 🙂 I guess I'm glad to be alive myself although I haven't given it that much thought. I mean, if you're already here you might as well enjoy the ride! I'm not really enjoying my ride atm though cos I have these stupid exams coming up on Monday....dreeeeeeead of doom!
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