anyone have **** said to them jus coz ur quiet?
- Thread starter redpine17
- Start date
TheNewZero
Well-known member
I've had a few people who were really mean and nasty to me because they know they can take advantage of me. Like a few years ago when I was taking riding lessons, my riding instructor did nothing be yell at me and criticize me. She was quite nice to all of her other students too, but with me she was always mean. I thought it was really weird because I'm always very polite and never argue with anyone. Whenever she yelled at me and would just take it. I think that some people like to seem powerful, and if there's someone who they feel they can boss around and take advantage of, they'll do it just to make themselves feel good.
gsmax5
Well-known member
I always wished I could go back in time and yell at my teachers. Like this one time, on the second day of the eighth grade, me and two other kids were using a computer. One of the kids set a porno photograph as the background. The teacher was trying to find out who did it and said that it was probably me because she "trusts" the other two kids. How rude is that?
It doesn't really seem that bad, but still, I never got over it.
TheNewZero
Well-known member
Ouch. That's really horrible, I would probably cry if someone said that to me. People can be such jerks!
gsmax5
Well-known member
Grrr... I thought I was the only one who got that.
littl3misstrange
Well-known member
omg, i hate when people say something about how i 'never talk.' & i hate when people constantly ask me if i'm 'alright' because i'm not talking.
& the smile thing...ugh. it just makes me want to punch something.
& the smile thing...ugh. it just makes me want to punch something.
Off The Wall
Well-known member
naww another one of these posts. makes me sad reading all these and how people are given so much shit just because they are quiet.. people are so cruel! I've been given my fair share of cruelty because i've been shy! I guess i learnt from it i've always been one to stand up for myself because i know no one else will but its hard when theres like a group of people or those people feel so controling or so much better then you, your scared to defend yourself.
it took me about a whole year of one guy going on and on about me being shy for me to just snap and yell at him.. it felt great! - he was nice to me after that... not that we talked much but he never once said anything about me being shy
i don't care about it so much anymore. I've heard it plenty of times, where it just becomes boring and lame and find a new line. lol.
it took me about a whole year of one guy going on and on about me being shy for me to just snap and yell at him.. it felt great! - he was nice to me after that... not that we talked much but he never once said anything about me being shy
i don't care about it so much anymore. I've heard it plenty of times, where it just becomes boring and lame and find a new line. lol.
nephatitus
Well-known member
i hate it when people say "your so quiet"
gee whiz nice observation dingus like i didnt know that myself
i immediately lose respect for that idiot
gee whiz nice observation dingus like i didnt know that myself
i immediately lose respect for that idiot
wafer
Member
so harsh! they're probably just trying to get a conversation going.
Errordotocx
Well-known member
I used to get asked this all the time back in school. The way I was asked was in general of some type of harassment form. I got told one time that "there is a conversation going on here and I could feel free to join in and talk at anytime I wanted to".
wafer
Member
yeah, ive gotten that "feel free to join in" a few times in school..i think it was like they were becoming annoyed at my silence/nervousness, and couldn't understand why i hadn't warmed up to them yet. People will get really annoyed if you don't contribute, especially if they are going out of their way to try and get you to open up and you still don't respond, they'll just think you are a weak person..at least that's what its been like for me
I used to get it a lot in school- people would ask why I'm quiet, or when I actually speak up and say something, they're like "Wow, she can talk."
I'm not actually as quiet anymore, or people just don't notice it as much- but I still am not very good with speaking up in large groups of people.
I'm not actually as quiet anymore, or people just don't notice it as much- but I still am not very good with speaking up in large groups of people.
nephatitus
Well-known member
or maybe they didnt think ahead about what would i think if they had said that
wafer
Member
ive had this said to me many times, it can get annoying, but i dont think you should take it as an insult. Most of the time people just want you to talk more because they want to get to know you. They don't think you'll get offended, because they are simply pointing out your traits, they don't know whats going on in your mind, or how socially anxious you are. they just want you to open up.
sorry to sound like im lecturing you, i dont mean to. i just dont think that forming such negative opinions of people based on one thing they say is good for anyone.
but yeah..ive noticed some people realy like to point out the obvious, and sometimes its just done to break the silence.
A friend of mine jokingly said that I "don't know how to talk" and 2 other girls (friends of hers who weren't close to me at the time) laughed at that. That was 4 years ago when my SA was way worse, and I'm not holding it against them, but that's not to say that didn't hurt at all. It really did, and I can't forget it.
People tend to walk all over me too (and it doesn't help that I have a "pushover" face as someone had so eloquently put it) because I'm quiet. Usually the loud and/or obnoxious and/or insensitive ones do this to me. It sucks. You'd think that the quieter ones deserve more respect but some people just LOVE putting us down.
You're not alone there. I try and try, yet it's never "enough" and I can never grow close to people. I suppose it feels like "heaps" because socialising is exhausting for us.
People tend to walk all over me too (and it doesn't help that I have a "pushover" face as someone had so eloquently put it) because I'm quiet. Usually the loud and/or obnoxious and/or insensitive ones do this to me. It sucks. You'd think that the quieter ones deserve more respect but some people just LOVE putting us down.
You're not alone there. I try and try, yet it's never "enough" and I can never grow close to people. I suppose it feels like "heaps" because socialising is exhausting for us.
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newbie
Well-known member
wow we have had similar experiences, yes there is something about us that sends out a 'come pick on me' sign, they don't get it till you actually make it clear and that can sometimes take a while as all you really want is to hope it'll go away.
It was really difficult for me in elementary and middle school. In middle school, I clearly remember this one kid who gave me shit all the time-he used to harass me by spitting on me as I walked by, laughing at me and saying I'm a mute, getting a gang of his friends to poke fun at me as I walked by...in math class they used to through staples in my hair and whenever I did speak up in class to answer a question, they would imitate the sound of my voice. It was really one of the most horrible times of my life.
In elementary school, kids still made fun of me, but what really damaged my self esteem at such a young age was the adults who always made comments about my shy behavior. At a young age, you know, you want to be accepted by adults...but when you hear that being shy is a bad thing, and you're shy by nature, you can't help but think that there's something wrong with you. It really hurts and whenever I think back on it, I still feel like I want to cry. It was probably the worst hearing it from my parents. They didn't quite know how to handle it, especially my mother. She is also a highly sensitive person and I remember seeing her cry when I was younger because I "had a social problem" according to my teachers and needed to be evaluated. That type of stuff really sticks with you. It could probably explain my low self esteem today...
In elementary school, kids still made fun of me, but what really damaged my self esteem at such a young age was the adults who always made comments about my shy behavior. At a young age, you know, you want to be accepted by adults...but when you hear that being shy is a bad thing, and you're shy by nature, you can't help but think that there's something wrong with you. It really hurts and whenever I think back on it, I still feel like I want to cry. It was probably the worst hearing it from my parents. They didn't quite know how to handle it, especially my mother. She is also a highly sensitive person and I remember seeing her cry when I was younger because I "had a social problem" according to my teachers and needed to be evaluated. That type of stuff really sticks with you. It could probably explain my low self esteem today...