Anger attacks - advice needed!

JJB

Active member
Hello,

I need some advice, I suffer from anger attacks often caused out of frustration or when I've had a few days feeling super low. Trouble is I struggle to control them, I'm sure it's a reasonably common thing but they are absolutely awful to go through and I'm sick of them. I hide them from family and friends who I don't think really know about them (though they recognized my low moods). But my techniques of coping with them isn't working and I need some better methods.

Had them for years, first was when I was 11 after a dark spell suffering with severe chronic pain and such. Anyone who as them will know how terrible they can be, they usually result in me screaming as quietly as I can a specific swear word, digging my finger nails into my skin and beating myself around the head or even slapping myself. I don't know the technical traits of anger attacks but whatever it is, I hate it. It's like you have this thing in your chest you just want to rip out, but after an attack as calmed I'm totally drained. I need to better cope with them, one of my only current techniques was taunt to me by a friend, I basically tie a piece of string around the palm of my hand tightly and squeeze. Though having recently had finger and hand problems (I suffer with RA) this isn't going to be good for me. So I'd appreciate any advice, keep in mind acting calm doesn't work. If I sit and try to relax the anger builds up. It seems to be all about releasing it, but how best? I have seen a psychotherapist early last year after I had a sort of strange breakdown but I never really talked about the anger attacks.

Would appreciate the help. Thank you all. :D
 

Duzmiu

Well-known member
i know how you feel i had severe anger attacks when i was younger to the point i would lash out and hit friends or family, ive managed to control it alot since then, i dont lash out at people but i do scream out loud, swear at random objects and sometimes hit things. if it gets really bad i often punch the side of my head or squeeze my head as hard as i can.

i can only suggest finding something you really enjoy and doing that when your anger attacks come around.

For me its music, i put some music on take a deep breath, close my eyes and just enjoy the music and sing along if i know the words. its why i listen to music pretty much everyday. i can control most of my anger attacks now but theres always some i just cant control and have to release my anger physically.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
Sounds quite serious, maybe chat to your GP and get referred for a diagnosis from a consultant psychiatrist? You are harming yourself in a way so that should get you further up the NHS tier system.
 

MrSunday

Well-known member
I used to smash my bed with an umbrella. Hit something. It might work. My anger is very unpredictable. One minute I'm fine and the next minute, I feel as though I may even kill someone. It's scary, but I have it under control.

You should see a doctor.
 

mikebird

Banned
Whoooaah!

I see this when it's personal, within, without resort, not anger towards others.

I suffered from migraine throughout life. It takes over and pins me down, unable to see clearly, hear properly, feel my fingers, or parts of my face, eg. lips, or tongue.

The pain comes after all this, needing preparation, and can never be seen by anyone

A girlfriend described me as an old man, struggling to walk, needing a walking stick, in a car park. I appreciated that.

This is a special time for me, as I haven't had a migraine since August 2011! They usually come along every month, or more. Maybe phenytoin is good for me

During an epileptic seizure in Italy, I remember not being able to swallow. It sounds simple, but that is a very grievous state to be in. Waking at night, I got out of bed, and smashed my nose hard, repeatedly, on the floor under the bed, and on the wall behind. Hardest part was seeing my face in the window after that.

Whooops! I'm not quite on the topic here. I'm thinking along the lines of what to do when frustration arises - during migraine, I suffer, but it's best not to do anything to make it worse. I've read about people with cluster headaches (not a simple condition - Causing a world of intense pain beyond migraine. I've been prone) smashing themselves on the head with a desk telephone - not as a cure - a resort to suicide, able to overcome their own pain by making it worse.

I think perhaps my SA has been caused by years of school unable to perform, being out of action during exams, and BSc too.
 

Kaykay

Member
Hey! I get this too, I know how frustrating it can be :( I find it gets a lot worse if I drink when I'm feeling low (not excessively, just a few on the weekend) because I find it hard to control who I'm aiming it towards, and feel so stupid and guilty afterwards if I've just exploded on someone (usually my boyfriend...).

I'd been told to find distractions like watching a favourite movie or colouring in or something 'relaxing' but I find it only works if you catch it right at the very start of feeling angry which is almost impossible! I try to punch a pillow instead of a myself if I'm at home, but it just isn't as satisfying! I'll normally nap or just go to bed afterwards if I can though, I find it dissipates my mood a little so I don't end up teary and frustrated for hours afterwards and can usually think much clearly after my body's rested and relaxed. But then that doesn;t stop it from happening in the first place!
 
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