A partner with SAD

sullyS1985

Well-known member
#1
Does anyone have or have you had a partner that has SAD and you have it yourself? Ive always wondered if that would work or if it is possible and have even told myself that i want to meet a girl with SAD because she would understand how i feel and i would understand her. I feel like there would be a deep connection right of the bat. Does anyone else have an opinion regarding this or have you experienced it?
 

Silvox Black

Well-known member
#2
Indeed, such an experience can be both challenging and uplifting. Challenging due to the fact that it is something that both must work on to cure and support each other through it, though if the two partners are true lovers then there is no doubt they shall succeed. Uplifting in that you gain a sense of liberation and happiness that there is someone else who can truly relate to you and know the depths of your heart, and despite all of that, still appreciate and love you for who you are.
 
#3
IMO it would be worse or make you worse in the long run. Instead of wondering how this would be, you should focus on something else like improving your life and not throwing it on someone else. If you feel like you need a relationship, then you are in trouble.
 
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sullyS1985

Well-known member
#4
IMO it would be worse or make you worse in the long run. Instead of wondering how this would be, you should focus on something else like improving your life and not throwing it on someone else. If you feel like you need a relationship, then you are in trouble.
Im not sure anything in my post implied that I need a relationship I was merely wondering what other people thought because i thought it would be an interesting situation. Im not sure i suggested throwing it on someone else as an option either so i really am not sure where you got that.
 
#5
You may be right, Punk... but then again I don't think it would necessarily have to make you worse. Two people with the same problem could just feel even more motivated working together to overcome things and have someone to lean on that understands where the other is coming from.
 
#6
Im not sure anything in my post implied that I need a relationship I was merely wondering what other people thought because i thought it would be an interesting situation. Im not sure i suggested throwing it on someone else as an option either so i really am not sure where you got that.


It wasnt directly aimed out you. I was kinda saying it aloud. But Yeah it could be nice, but IMO I think poeple should try and be more independant as much as possible. Its more healthier that way, cause the more needy and clingy you are it will only make matters worse.
 

sullyS1985

Well-known member
#7
Ya that is definately a good way to see it because the two partners would use each other as a crutch and never actually deal with the issues that are making life so difficult which might be fine when they are together but when they break up the problems are still there. Thank you for the opinion.
 

philly2bits

Well-known member
#8
Even if 2 people have the same problem, they might have a different perspective that the other does not. It's true that they could enable each other, but It would mainly depend on the people themselves, not what problem they have in common.
 
#9
Knowing how to be independent is a good thing, and you certainly shouldn't enter into a relationship for the wrong reasons- like to use the person as a crutch. But it's human nature to search for companionship, and no one is perfect or problem free (even non-social phobes ::p:), so IMO it's not wrong or bad to seek out a partner, especially someone who understands you, whether they have SA or not.

There are benefits to having someone as a partner that you just can't get when you're completely on your own... but there are also risks involved that have to be considered- like what would happen or how it would affect you if the relationship went sour. But the risks and benefits are always there regardless of whether you've resolved your problems, or which problems you're facing. Although, with some problems it may be impossible for you to have a "healthy" relationship with anyone, and it might be best to stay single while tackling them, perhaps just relying on family or close friends for support.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
#11
People who have the same problems you have (or similar problems) are more likely to understand you... and, at the moment of trying to beat these problems, it's really helpful when you have someone to turn to, someone you know wont judge or think bad of you.
 
#12
Oh man, think of all the communication issues there would be. Example, person A is having a bad day. Instead of talking about it like a normal person, they keep it all inward. Person B misinterprets this silence as something they are doing wrong because that's generally how SAD people think. Since SAD people do not have confrontational personalities, nothing is talked about and the paranoia grows and grows. Pretty soon you have two very hostile people with no idea why because they are not able to communicate with each other. The pressure builds and builds and either person A or person B, depending on the severity of paranoid thoughts, spontaneously combusts.

Sound like fun?
 

sullyS1985

Well-known member
#13
Oh man, think of all the communication issues there would be. Example, person A is having a bad day. Instead of talking about it like a normal person, they keep it all inward. Person B misinterprets this silence as something they are doing wrong because that's generally how SAD people think. Since SAD people do not have confrontational personalities, nothing is talked about and the paranoia grows and grows. Pretty soon you have two very hostile people with no idea why because they are not able to communicate with each other. The pressure builds and builds and either person A or person B, depending on the severity of paranoid thoughts, spontaneously combusts.

Sound like fun?
doesnt sound like fun at all and i can definately see that happening but in the terms of a relationship, i would hope the communication would be much better than that. I understand communication is hard for social phobics like myself but when i get comfortable around someone (which takes forever) my communication levels go up but I could definitely see that happening in some cases and being a nightmare.
 
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