A need for speed...

[Rise Against]

I have a baaaad problem... Im addicted to adderall. For those who dont know what adderall is, its a highly addictive drug used to treat ADD/ADHD. It is made up of four different amphetamine salts. It is comparable and very similar to purely refined methamphetamine. Its speed. The only way i can describe it, a caffeine pill on cocaine, topped off with 4 chocolate lattes.

Well ive had this problem for about a year. Although i can honistly say that i have never taken adderall to get "high"... I used to suffer from extreme depression/SAD, and one day i just couldnt take the pain and suffering anymore, and popped a couple extra pills and its been all downhill since then. I realllllllllllllllly regret doing that. I HATE adderall. It turned me into a selfish monster. Sure it helped with depression and a lot for SAD... until i got hooked on it, then it only magnified these problems and created new problems. For a while, my addiction was so bad that i honestly didnt think i would make it past 30 without having a heart attack or stroke. I was taking around 250mgs per day, crushed and snorted...

Well the past few months i have been trying so hard to quit, but it is BY FAR the hardest thing that ive ever tried to do... Ive been getting so close to quitting but i cant make it anymore than 2 weeks without it... I feel really guilty and embarrassed and in no way proud of my horrible mistake.

I dont know what to do. I havent told anyone about my problem because im way too embarrassed. Ive been thinking about going to a rehab center... but i really dont want anyone to find out. Any tips, advice, support would be greatly appreciated.

And please, for everyone reading this, PLEASE DO NOT SELF MEDICATE WITH DRUGS!!! They WILL F up your life and you WILL hit rockbottom! Hopefully i haven't done too much damage yet, i really need to stop before its too late...

And please dont judge me as a druggie... ive never drank, smoked, chewed... yet somehow im addicted to speed.

 

[NormanBates]

I used to fall behind real bad at one of my old jobs. I seemed to have a deficit of attention. My friend who worked there was the best guy in the lab. But his secret was that he was poppin Adderol.

He offered me some (more like shoved some at me, lol). I never took it. I pretended to take it so I wouldn't hurt his feelings, but I didn't want to be hooked on an endless cycle of being addicted and having to buy it via blackmarket.

Eventually they threatened to fire me because I was too slow and sloppy, so I just quit. He's still there and has a better position.

I guess I'll just wait to find a niche in life where a slow person can flourish.

 

[Rise Against]

I used to fall behind real bad at one of my old jobs. I seemed to have a deficit of attention. My friend who worked there was the best guy in the lab. But his secret was that he was poppin Adderol.

He offered me some (more like shoved some at me, lol). I never took it. I pretended to take it so I wouldn't hurt his feelings, but I didn't want to be hooked on an endless cycle of being addicted and having to buy it via blackmarket.

Eventually they threatened to fire me because I was too slow and sloppy, so I just quit. He's still there and has a better position.

I guess I'll just wait to find a niche in life where a slow person can flourish.

Yeah that was a smart move on your part... Its so easy to get hooked its ridiculous...

 

[zofia-life-coach]

Hi. I think you need to understand that you're seriously ill and I don't think anyone on this forum will be able to really help you. I don't think you can do it on your own. You really need professional help. Please don't be scared to ask for it.

Good luck

 

[Noca]

Its key to note that the drug itself isnt bad, you have just failed to follow your doctors orders thats all and need help.

 

[danstelter]

I have a baaaad problem... Im addicted to adderall. For those who dont know what adderall is, its a highly addictive drug used to treat ADD/ADHD. It is made up of four different amphetamine salts. It is comparable and very similar to purely refined methamphetamine. Its speed. The only way i can describe it, a caffeine pill on cocaine, topped off with 4 chocolate lattes.

Well ive had this problem for about a year. Although i can honistly say that i have never taken adderall to get "high"... I used to suffer from extreme depression/SAD, and one day i just couldnt take the pain and suffering anymore, and popped a couple extra pills and its been all downhill since then. I realllllllllllllllly regret doing that. I HATE adderall. It turned me into a selfish monster. Sure it helped with depression and a lot for SAD... until i got hooked on it, then it only magnified these problems and created new problems. For a while, my addiction was so bad that i honestly didnt think i would make it past 30 without having a heart attack or stroke. I was taking around 250mgs per day, crushed and snorted...

Well the past few months i have been trying so hard to quit, but it is BY FAR the hardest thing that ive ever tried to do... Ive been getting so close to quitting but i cant make it anymore than 2 weeks without it... I feel really guilty and embarrassed and in no way proud of my horrible mistake.

I dont know what to do. I havent told anyone about my problem because im way too embarrassed. Ive been thinking about going to a rehab center... but i really dont want anyone to find out. Any tips, advice, support would be greatly appreciated.

And please, for everyone reading this, PLEASE DO NOT SELF MEDICATE WITH DRUGS!!! They WILL F up your life and you WILL hit rockbottom! Hopefully i haven't done too much damage yet, i really need to stop before its too late...

And please dont judge me as a druggie... ive never drank, smoked, chewed... yet somehow im addicted to speed.

You are hardly the first person to be addicted to a drug, and you are not a junkie. I would suggest to go to a Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting. Search for a meeting near you at their website, or just look in your local yellow pages, call a rehab clinic, and ask them where you could find a NA meeting. Their meetings are all over the place.

Lots of people are popping stimulants in order to get the competitive edge in the workplace; this is in fact becoming a large problem in the realm of academia and other white collar jobs, so there's tons of people with this problem besides you.

The reason I suggest an NA meeting is that there are many other addicts there who can help you to decide what to do. A rehab clinic, if you do not have insurance, is incredibly expensive, so I would avoid that. And, it is entirely possible to solve a drug problem without going to a rehab clinic and simply by going to meetings.

Finally, feel relaxed when talking to people at an NA meeting, people at a rehab clinic, or any other mental health counselors. They are all understanding of your problem, and will be filled with kindness and compassion. However low you think you have gone, other people have gone much, much, lower, so don't feel as though you are the worst one.

Hope this helps!