A lot of people stopped talking to me, after I posted my SAD issues on Facebook

Darker Than Black

Well-known member
A lot of people I met last year in engineering stopped talking to me.

One guy saw me on campus then he put his head down and walked the other way, but I said hi anyways.

Another one stopped replying to my MSN msg, and give me looks when he see me around campus. I always said hi, how are you. He just looks at me and looks away. And A LOT of other people on MSN stopped talking to me, and on campus except one or two.
 

Harleyq

Well-known member
wtf? I don't understand that at all. Everytime I tell someone I have SA, they just ignore it or they don't believe me.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's probably of no comfort but in complete truth, if that's how those people are, they're probably not even worth your time anyways. It's better to have one or two people who are true friends to you than have a bunch of shallow-minded acquaintances who act like your SA is contagious or something. It makes me go "What the f-ck is wrong with them?" I mean, maybe they're uncomfortable and don't know how to react to finding out someone has a mental disorder but still...

I'd give you a hug, if I could.
 
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Harleyq, beat me to it. I agree with her. If that is how they are their true colors
have shown and you can count your blessings man.

Let me guess, those guys might be thinking something along the lines.
"Damn he must be mentally retarted like psycho or something.
I better stay away from him."

The nerve of some people...
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
A lot of people seem to have a really hard time dealing with adult shy people. I don't know why that is.

It seems to be more socially-acceptable to be loud and obnoxious than to be quiet and unassuming these days. Maybe it's worse in western countries where people are more outgoing in public, in-general and have smaller personal boundaries.

We probably draw more attention by contrast and seem like bigger misfits in that regard.
 

blue-roses

Well-known member
Agree with Harleyq.

Same thing happened to me; last semester I was starting to make friends with a girl in one of my classes, and I mentioned to her that I had "anxiety issues" (or something to that effect) and she seemed okay with it, then I joined some SA-related groups on Facebook and made some jokes about it in my status and I haven't spoken to her all of this semester. We were in one class together this semester; every week I'd say hi, and she'd give me an awkward smile and find a seat somewhere else. It really hurts because she's now practically best friends with two of the other girls from the workshop group we were in. It's not like I even acted particularly "SA" around them, especially once I'd known them for three months.

O/T: I deleted my Facebook last night; one of my best friends admitted that she's posting and tagging the worst photos of me because she knows it upsets me. It won't stop her doing it, but at least people can't log on to my account and be linked to the bad pics. Or maybe the fact that I can't see them anymore and I'll stop posting comments like "OH MY GOD FUUUUGLY DELETE DELETE D=" will make her stop. Hm.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
They are not worth your time then, you should talk to other kind of people, these seem to be a bit too ignorant or judgemental.
 

Darker Than Black

Well-known member
wtf? I don't understand that at all. Everytime I tell someone I have SA, they just ignore it or they don't believe me.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's probably of no comfort but in complete truth, if that's how those people are, they're probably not even worth your time anyways. It's better to have one or two people who are true friends to you than have a bunch of shallow-minded acquaintances who act like your SA is contagious or something. It makes me go "What the f-ck is wrong with them?" I mean, maybe they're uncomfortable and don't know how to react to finding out someone has a mental disorder but still...

I'd give you a hug, if I could.

ya well, u know, if a girl with good looks told me she has SAD, I wouldn't mind either, or I would assume she's just very shy (consider if I'm normal). But for the average guy, people tend to look at us differently (That's what I think)
 

AGR

Well-known member
I think its best to not tell,I only told once and for really close friends when I had no way out,people might think you are looking for attention,think you are being a wussie,weird and etc.
One thing is for sure,they WILL treat you diferently,so its best to not tell imo.
 

Darker Than Black

Well-known member
Thats probably when they said hi to you you always say nothing or simply says WHAT.


WTF, LAC OPERON, before I said I had SAD issues on FB, they said hi to me and I talked with them everytime, now they don't even bother saying anything to me, and just a second ago, one of them prank called me and was like "YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT? WE'RE GOING TO COME AND PICK YOU UP"

I was like....WTF, and I heard the rest of them in the background laughing and saying things about me, so I hanged up
 

206Raider

Well-known member
^^^damn dude, nobody ever did anything liek that to my face, I was the man (in a quiet way) in high school becuase I was a "cool" kid in a cool group but was really quiet and girls liked me but hated me shyness so nothing ever really worked but that was 4 years ago and when I went to a party a couple years ago I got really drunk with my old friends becuase I didn't see them in a long time and was really depresed becuase my SA caught up to me and sicne I got more drunk than I ever got (I couldn't walk without falling and blacked out) I started balling about all sorts of shit at the time (girls, SA) and people laughed the next morning but I manned up and passed it aside as a really drunk night and some peopel understood.

I didn't know at the time that not everybody did and I only hung out with them a few more times over the years (now I ahven't seen them in a year). Anyways another friend of mine who I hardly see but is cool was hanging out with some of the old girls I knwo and he said that thye said "don't invite him to any of our parties, he's weird and emotional, and he doesn't hang out with anyone and he's just weird"

it hurt becuase one of those girls used to hang out with me all the time and called me her closest brother (friendship treatment lol), I helped her move and in high school on her birthday I was the only one to get her anything and for these people to turn ther backs hurt but it opened my eyes to not trust anybody. If I wasn't so socailly anxious I wanted to roll up tot here party with my friend and crash there party and cause major trouble and ruin there night but I'm not it was a dream but I can relate to what your going through jsut be glad there gone now. **** em
 
A lot of people I met last year in engineering stopped talking to me.

One guy saw me on campus then he put his head down and walked the other way, but I said hi anyways.

Another one stopped replying to my MSN msg, and give me looks when he see me around campus. I always said hi, how are you. He just looks at me and looks away. And A LOT of other people on MSN stopped talking to me, and on campus except one or two.

Omfg! I can't believe it. Those people are really narrow-minded. They might not know how to act and react to people with SAD, but it's so stupid that they don't even want to talk to you anymore. If I were you, I wouldn't stay in touch with those disrespectful assholes. Just go look for other people who will understand people with SAD.

Almost 2 years ago, the boss of my internship was very angry with me, because I was too quiet. She told me that I was very impolite. Then I told her that I might have social phobia, but at that time it wasn't diagnosed. Anyway, she didn't want to believe me. She thought it was bullshit and that I was just trying to find an excuse. I really can't stand people who don't even want to try to understand people with mental problems. Btw, I totally agree with Harleyq.
 
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and just a second ago, one of them prank called me and was like "YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT? WE'RE GOING TO COME AND PICK YOU UP"

I was like....WTF, and I heard the rest of them in the background laughing and saying things about me, so I hanged up

Wow.. that really sucks

tell them they can go *** themselves
 
You should of never sahred it with peopel you know on FB. Youtube is ok, cause chances are other poeple with SA are watching them. See, the reasonw hy people are treating yu different now is cause they dont understand SA. They now think you are weird or yu scared them and they want nothing to do with you. My advice, dont put too mcuh energy into them.
 
You should of never sahred it with peopel you know on FB. Youtube is ok, cause chances are other poeple with SA are watching them. See, the reasonw hy people are treating yu different now is cause they dont understand SA. They now think you are weird or yu scared them and they want nothing to do with you. My advice, dont put too mcuh energy into them.

I've shared my problems with SAD with a few people on FB. They understand how I feel. I've also joined SAD groups on FB. Well, I would say that it's safer if you post something about SAD on youtube, cuz FB is kinda personal. But still I think that people shouldn't ignore you if they've found out that you have SAD. On the other hand I would talk with people and try to understand their problems.
 

Harleyq

Well-known member
I've shared my problems with SAD with a few people on FB. They understand how I feel. I've also joined SAD groups on FB. Well, I would say that it's safer if you post something about SAD on youtube, cuz FB is kinda personal. But still I think that people shouldn't ignore you if they've found out that you have SAD. On the other hand I would talk with people and try to understand their problems.

Agreed. It's unfortunate that many people feel they have to hide their problems because we shouldn't have to.

I can't account for other countries but what I find especially ridiculous about U.S. citizens who who act all weird when somebody needs a therapist, is that 50% will have had some kind of diagnosable mental disorder sometime in their lives. So chances are, we all know of multiple people who've had mental instability.
 
IMO never post any stuff like that in FB, youtube or any other "social network". Say those things to your closest friends and thats enough. I have a facebook acc, but I never posted about my problems, because I believe 95% of them won't understand and some of them start posting "jokes". None of them care if you have mental illness.
People change their mind after they get to the same situation. Until then it's pointless to say anything.
 

Square_Eyes

Well-known member
A lot of people seem to have a really hard time dealing with adult shy people. I don't know why that is.

I've noticed this. The older I get, the more ridiculous I'm made to feel. At 23, I still feel like the same timid child that I always was.

On the subject of being ignored, I probably give as good as I get. I'll always respond, however inadequately, if spoken to but seldom initiate anything myself. It doesn't take a genius to realize how much I go out of my way to avoid any form of contact with my peers at University. I'd feel like it was a bit of a double standard on my part to expect someone to acknowledge my presence when I do so much to conceal it from them in the first place.
 
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206Raider

Well-known member
^^it makes perfect sense, I always thought this especially joining a circle of people talking who are having fun and after like 2 mintues the fun dies down and I feel it's my fault becuase I give bad signals without meaning too. But most people who know me know I'm just cool calm and quiet now and don't think nothin of it.
 
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