A CONSTANT BATTLE

Anonymous

Well-known member
#1
Hi All,

I happened to stumble across this site late last night, I was feeling really down and I’m really glad I found it.

It’s comforting to know I am not alone and there are people going through the same problems as myself. I can relate to a lot of people on here and one thing I would like to say is that the people on here should give themselves a pat on the back, they are some of the most caring and supportive people in the world.

I’m 23 and feel miles away from people my own age, although I getting help I feel trapped and isolated from the rest of the world, I am merely existing, I have few friends and I keep myself to myself and I don’t venture out unless I have to.

I always hated school and always looked forward to going home. Home was a comfort zone where you felt safe but at 23 it feels comfortable no longer. At school I always felt I was different and didn’t fit in, you tend to drift apart in your own little world willing the time to pass by so you could go home.

At school I had a period where I would just not go, I was unable to cope with situations and I saw a doctor, they put the difficulties down to school phobia, they slowly reintroduced me back into school and left it at that. I suppose I’m regretting the fact that nothing was done then.

At college a couple of friends that I did have asked if I would go out but I always made an excuse had something to do! You know what I mean always making excuses to get out of a situation you didn’t want to be in, I have always hated going out and have always felt awkward in any form of social situations.

I have always felt I was content with being on my own but in reality I was covering the fact and hiding the fact that I was deeply unhappy, everyday feels the same as the last and this year feels the same as the year before – unhappiness. I suppose nothing has changed since my problems at school and while people my own age have moved on I have felt stuck and have been unable to move on.

It’s the feeling of isolation that gets me down and depressed and it wears you down you get a feeling of helplessness. I have always taken the easy way out but now I feel it’s about time to fight and combat these problems, which are holding me back.

I have reached an age where I feel something has to be done and that you have to forget the past because you can’t change it and move on.

In my opinion the most important thing is you have to accept yourself for who you are and only then can I think you can move on. This is what I’m trying to come to terms with.

I have always felt that I’m not a sociable person and I didn’t want to be sociable but one thing I am beginning to realise is that we do need people around us, for me it’s the feeling of isolation that I feel is becoming more of a problem than it could be facing social situations. The problem I feel with SP is we are facing the problems on our own where as everyday people who have problems let people into their lives. As the saying goes a problem shared is a problem halved.

I think people take these things that I find a struggle with for granted, going out in the world and facing our fears is tough.

At home I feel isolated from the rest of the world and it’s this feeling of isolation that gets me down and depressed. I always felt that I liked being on my own but the truth is I hate it. I want to be happy, enable to enjoy life, I would like a girlfriend and for this to happen I need to change. I realise this will take time but its getting the courage to make these necessary changes.

At the moment although I am receiving help I feel my progress has reached plateau.

I apologies for the length of this post but I do enjoy writing I feel I can express myself better than talking.

I wish everybody on here all the best,
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#2
Welcome to the board! I can relate to your post perfectly. I know what you mean by merely existing. The isolation does wear you down. Do whatever you can to not be isolated, as tough as it may be.

I still have trouble accepting myself for who I am. I'm 31. But thanks to this site and others, I think I finally have clear picture of the issue.... for years I just thought I was a freak, now at least I know what the problems are. I was able to enjoy myself at college etc. to a degree, which was great, but also made it easier to avoid the issues I was having ("a good day means I must not have problems" lol )

And you are not alone. I'm sure pretty much everyone here can relate to what you wrote. I;m glad to hear that you're motivated to change. I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering. But hang in there! We'll all root for you. :)
 

Orlando

Well-known member
#3
Hi, Fish-UK and J!

Welcome to the site, Fish-TV!

Well, I know how you feel. I've had SP since I was young (since 4th grade)...It got progessively worse in high school and reached its zenith in graduate school. During college, I made many acquaintences but few friends. I felt alone and different from every other student....And MTV (The Music Television Channel) does not help...According to them, all college students should be, rich, pretty, handsome, have fashion-sense, talkative, sing, dance and drink large amounts of alcohol (and maybe some illegal substances) to be normal....Yuck! For a country (USA) that is very individualistic, it does not seem that many teenagers or college students really think for themselves? :roll: How did I start talking about MTV?

Well, I guess , you can see that I'm a bit of a idiot.
Anyway, I'm glad that you found this website and I hope you feel better! I look forward to reading your posts.

:D :D :D :D
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#5
Another One

Congrats on finding the website, person from the U.K. ( I don't pay attention to names or dates or much of anything concerning identity). I am a person with (what is labeled as) social anxiety. Social paranoia. Whatver. I am also 23. I tell everyone to simply "stop it!" when it comes to their conditions. But since your post so closely resembled my real situation, I will be truthful. I think that you should....FUCKING STOP IT! I swear to God, one day I heard someone (on Mad T.V.) tell a patient to "stop it!" when it came to their phobias, and it has given me a new life. And I'm dead serious here. Just fucking stop whatever you're doing that prevents you from being happy. It's that hard, and that easy. It took me a while to "stop it," but once I did, I fucking stopped it. I then began being happy. And it all started the same day I truly stopped it. YOu can go on medication (I've done it), you can go for cognitive behavioral reprogramming (done it), you can buy books and scour the internet for information (I've done it), but when it comes down to it, you should say to yourself....this: "I only live once....I'm doing things that I should stop doing...and it is those things that I should....stop!" Then stop them! If you stop doing one thing you know you should stop doing, you will feel so good about yourself that you will stop another thing, and before you know it, with any luck, you will have stopped doing so many things you shouldn't do and have started doing so many things you should that you will feel that that style of life is the only way to go. Stop it. It's the only solution.

Sincerely,

Two Words
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#6
Re: Another One

TwoWords said:
Congrats on finding the website, person from the U.K. ( I don't pay attention to names or dates or much of anything concerning identity). I am a person with (what is labeled as) social anxiety. Social paranoia. Whatver. I am also 23. I tell everyone to simply "stop it!" when it comes to their conditions. But since your post so closely resembled my real situation, I will be truthful. I think that you should....FUCKING STOP IT! I swear to God, one day I heard someone (on Mad T.V.) tell a patient to "stop it!" when it came to their phobias, and it has given me a new life. And I'm dead serious here. Just fucking stop whatever you're doing that prevents you from being happy. It's that hard, and that easy. It took me a while to "stop it," but once I did, I fucking stopped it. I then began being happy. And it all started the same day I truly stopped it. YOu can go on medication (I've done it), you can go for cognitive behavioral reprogramming (done it), you can buy books and scour the internet for information (I've done it), but when it comes down to it, you should say to yourself....this: "I only live once....I'm doing things that I should stop doing...and it is those things that I should....stop!" Then stop them! If you stop doing one thing you know you should stop doing, you will feel so good about yourself that you will stop another thing, and before you know it, with any luck, you will have stopped doing so many things you shouldn't do and have started doing so many things you should that you will feel that that style of life is the only way to go. Stop it. It's the only solution.
Sure, that works! NOT. Well not for everyone anyway. I'm not trying to insult your personal philosophy or anything but, I've been "stopping it" every single day, and every single day I'm reminded why I am "stopping it" in the first place. People just hate me. I don't have social phobia. Society has ME-phobia. That may sound self-centered or whatnot, but that is reality if you really know me and my story.

Okay, what I just said might make absolutely no sense to you, given the fact that you know nothing about me, and that I am ranting at 3 am, but hopefully my point was made. If not then well, I guess I can add this to my ever growing list of things i failed at. :x
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#7
Here it is

Oh....*twitch*..........


Well okay, in light of your latest post, I am prepared to reconsider....*twitch*...

Oh FUCK IT. STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#8
Re: Here it is

Two Words said:
Oh....*twitch*..........


Well okay, in light of your latest post, I am prepared to reconsider....*twitch*...

Oh FUCK IT. STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for that comic relief. heh

I got really stressed out while I was writing that last reply I made, since anytime I actually discuss my situation it infuriates me. :(

Sorry if I sounded like an ass. That wasn't a good way to make an entrance into a community.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#9
Re: Here it is

Anonymous said:
Two Words said:
Oh....*twitch*..........


Well okay, in light of your latest post, I am prepared to reconsider....*twitch*...

Oh FUCK IT. STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for that comic relief. heh

I got really stressed out while I was writing that last reply I made, since anytime I actually discuss my situation it infuriates me. :(

Sorry if I sounded like an ass. That wasn't a good way to make an entrance into a community.
 
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