This is selfish but it needs to be said

Lord Baltimore

Lord Baltimore

Well-known member
Why do so many people confide in me even tho i'm the most messed up, insecure person i know?? Am i just that good of an actor?? Also it frustrates me so much being moral support for so many people when there's NO ONE that can help me with my condition besides my parents. Does anybody else have this issue??
 
Section_31

Section_31

Well-known member
I personally dont, but i can empathize....I dont know your situation myself, but ive known some who described a similiar scenerio.

If i can ask, what is your condition? and why can no one help you?. Sorry if youve been asked this before, i just honestly dont know.
 
LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
Like LG says I'm not sure what your specific condition is but from my own persepective I get the same thing and I personally feel the reason is: because I live a life of constant tourment and pain it gives me a very understanding and patient disposition when it comes to dealing with others. I know very well what it feels like to be in pain and so I always feel compelled to help anyone else who is in a bad place. If others feel better after talking to you then I certainly wouldn't consider it a bad thing, its a talent. But if taking on other peoples burdens effects you badly then I would say sometimes you need to be selfish and think of your own mental health above the others.
 
Snowdrop

Snowdrop

Well-known member
Yes I do, but not here, outside of SPW. But then to be fair, none of them know about my SA/P. I know it's unfair to be p*ssed off at them but it does get incredibly frustrating sometimes, having them moan about their problems when if they knew mine, they'd shut up quick. And when I give them advice I feel like I really don't care coz it sounds superficial compared to mine, but I help anyway because what else can I say? I just shared a very very bitter side of me :/
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
You can be proud they do, don't you? I also feel I am the most messed up one, but don't think that confiding in anyone would help because I know noone else besides me can help me..
 
Lord Baltimore

Lord Baltimore

Well-known member
Thank you guys for the help, it's encouraging knowing i'm not alone. And i don't mean to seem like a selfish jerk but it just gets under my skin sometimes. Somebody asked about my condition. I have pretty severe OCD and a mild to moderate case of SA. I can handle the SA but the OCD is becoming all time consuming. The worse part is only two people outside of my family know about my OCD (one of them has it themselves and has helped me a lot). I'm honored that people seek me out for their problems, just the selfish part of me wishes they would help me with my own, even thow they don't know i have any. See what i'm saying. It's quite a conundrum
 
Untamed88

Untamed88

Well-known member
People confide in me. I think its because Im such a social recluse they know I won't tell anyone.
 
hoddesdon

hoddesdon

Well-known member
Actually, it's a compliment.

Perhaps they feel that you are someone who is sensitive, understanding, non-aggressive etc.

If you feel that you are not the most appropriate person for this, then it is probably helpful for them to point that out. That is true whatever the reason may be for feeling that way. I agree that, if someone is already carrying a load that is too heavy, then it is reasonable to ask whether another person could be the "confidee" (if such a word exists).
 
los77

los77

Well-known member
I've been in a very similar situation
I have people who confide in me and I think it's because i'll just listen most of the time
when i see those people talking to other people they get interrupted a lot and I think when people are in a sad mood they just want vent and it's sometimes irritating to get interrupted in that type of mood

I do somtimes feel like "I have bigger problems than that" but after the conversation is done and i feel i've helped it makes me feel better too
 
D

Darryl

Well-known member
Would it not be people taking in general.

I'm thinking everyday people speak about their troubles to someone.
Maybe were not used to giving up our problems that easy, as what we go through cannot be explained or have an answer at the end of the conversation

I wonder if there is less to it than our disorder would have us believe.
The person knows you,one on one situation, they spill the beans. they move on.
 
Lord Baltimore

Lord Baltimore

Well-known member
hoddesdon said:
Actually, it's a compliment.

Perhaps they feel that you are someone who is sensitive, understanding, non-aggressive etc.

If you feel that you are not the most appropriate person for this, then it is probably helpful for them to point that out. That is true whatever the reason may be for feeling that way. I agree that, if someone is already carrying a load that is too heavy, then it is reasonable to ask whether another person could be the "confidee" (if such a word exists).
Click to expand...

thanks man that helps put it in perspective a little bit
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
Lord Baltimore said:
Why do so many people confide in me even tho i'm the most messed up, insecure person i know?? Am i just that good of an actor?? Also it frustrates me so much being moral support for so many people when there's NO ONE that can help me with my condition besides my parents. Does anybody else have this issue??
Click to expand...


Maybe this is the proof you need. This shows that your anxieties and fears are not nearly ass apparent to others as they are to yourself. If others confide in you, they MUST think you are stronger and more stable then they are.
 
Lord Baltimore

Lord Baltimore

Well-known member
UnOccupied said:
Maybe this is the proof you need. This shows that your anxieties and fears are not nearly ass apparent to others as they are to yourself. If others confide in you, they MUST think you are stronger and more stable then they are.
Click to expand...

Very good way of looking at it. Thank you so much, i appreciate your help
 
Kingdave

Kingdave

Well-known member
its probrably nothing wrong with you lol no. it depends on how you look at it, stop helping other people then maybe you can help yourself, or people cant help you because they need you to help them. Maybe they dont know how to help you because whatever you "believe" to be wrong isnt really wrong at all? i dunno. people confide in you because your a strong person, i bet your one of the best types of people and thats why they come to u. so i mean you can think something is wrong with u but im sure noone else really thinks their is. you can gain confidence by doing what your supposed to do like schoolwork etc and from their youll have reason to be confident i mean its not like your not doing what your supposed to do.................rite?
 
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