this blushing is making my life hell =(

15 year old girl here, in year 11 at school.

chronic blushing is absulutly horrible, i used to enjoy school, but now i completely dread going in every day, in fear that something will set me off blushing. i just go bright red in class whenever the teacher says my name to answer a question or read or something, and i get so paranoid about people talking about me and whenever i go red i feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing, thinking im like some complete wierdo going red for no reason. Anything will set off my blushing, a classmate asking to borrow a pen, the teacher asking me to hand out some work, anything..i also dread going to assembly, in case my name will get called out and ill have to stand in front of hundreds of people..i just feel so pathetic.

my personality has changed so much, i used to be alot more confident, funny, talkative, i even did drama, but now im just a complete nervous wreck, slowly drifting away from my friends.I cant bring myslef to tell my friends or family, because i know they wont understand. I dont think anyone can understand this facial blushing thing unless theyre actually going through it or have gone through it themselves

well that is me :?

id just like to hear from other people who understand this, and how they deal with it. i dont think i could ever bring myself to see a doctor or go on medication or anything like that, gah, this thing just makes me feel so trapped...

damn i know EXACTLY what your talking about its awful! anything will make me blush too and i dont know what 2 do about it and i used 2 like school 2 but i cant stand the blushing i havent been in a wk and a half ppl say makeup covers it up but i wear makeup and obviously not cus ppl r still like awww shes blushing! and omg ys ur face so red? or just laughing or talking about me. and i HATE when the teacher calls atendance cuz im just waiting 4 my name all nervous and i clear my throat and act like im rlly busy with something but it still always comes out in a tiny high pitch scared way and ppl look at me and laugh and copy my here and of course my face it tomatoe red and normal ppl rlly dont understand any of this and i mean, how would they? they just need 2 realize how lucky they are.

*Puts Hand Up* Same...

I think we all have exactly the same story to tell. Look at it that way, u have something in common with people all around the world u dont even kno.

Sue also had this problem... didn't blush that often (although i DID blush and it was awful) but my voice used to go all funny and sqeaky in the class all the time... that was quite bad... but recently, things are looking up a lot. i realized that... as much as I love and need other people... it doesn't really matter what they think or what they do or what they are... because it's ME what it's all about (ok not all, but definitely... what my life is about). I started to live for myself at the first place, and THEN for other people... now I don't get nervous so often... I am okay with whatever happens... there's still a lot of problematic stuff for me but you know... it's okay. for the first time in my life I feel everyhing's okay... I am calm and able to learn and grow and progress.

so there goes my advice. make peace with yourself. love yourself, respect yourself, be your friend. don't forget about other people, but do not care about them so much. be a litttle bit egoistic... and do not worry.
maybe you won't stop blushing straigh away, but when you are at peace with your own self and when you have this feeling of allrightness, it could help you not to get nervous so easily.

Send you love.
Sue

you put it perfectly. People who don't suffer from it have no idea how bad it is. Since i found this site though - it has made me feel so much better to know that it wasn't just me feeling like a total freak. My personality has changed too - and it sux that this problem is stopping me from enjoying life - it makes me angry. I have good days and bad days though - but the bad days tend to drag me right back to the start again. You're not alone - just remember - although its on your mind like - 24 hours a day (it is for me) noone else is thinking about it - so they're not expecting you to go red any second. I try and push it to the back of my mind and find if i'm in a situation where i would normally go red - but didnt - its because i got distracted and forgot about it.

im a 22 year old guy and i blush all the friggin time,i hhave found a way to slighten it a bit though,if im talking to someone i mighht blush for no reason but i try to fight it and look at them right in the face and pretend i dont care and just keep talking,it usually makes me talk faster,but also sometimes i just try and find a way to escape which makes everything worse its better to just fight it i reckon,ive got a mate whos way more anxious and shy than i am but he will never blush,weird,maybe skin coulor has something to do with it?

Blushing

If this is hampering your life deal with it!

Goto a doctor - therapist - tell people about it.

Trust me - I'm 34 and still dealing with this to a certain extent.

I don't blush as much as I used to, but it's definitely something I think about quite often at work. I worry about getting cornered by someone and being asked a question by an authority figure. A small thing will make me turn red. The worst part is that there are promotions going on at my job and I fear that I won't get chosen because of my shyness, and if I do get chosen that will put me into a panic because I'll have to sit in meetings and talk. It's a no-win situation for me. But I do understand everything you're going through.

When I was in high school I remember panicking in class, then I wasn't able to concentrate. I didn't have a name for it then so I just suffered. I could have done so much better in school but I was unable to concentrate.

I do admit, I finally went to see a therapist about 6 months ago and my blushing has decreased. I should have gone to see her much sooner but I was too scared.

I hope you can find ways of improving because from experience I can tell you that just hoping the blushing will stop one day won't work. We have to put ourselves in situations that make us fearful to get over the phobia. Each time it gets easier, but I know that high school is another story, it is possible though!

yea im the same god im dreading going back to skool i took up dram then i discovered i had a chronic blushing problem and its gunna be hell for me, also the teachers will make me read ans stand up infront of my class i cant control it or stand it anymore its driving me nuts!!!! i still havent gotr the nerves to tell my doctor cus i dnt think other people will understand

I know exactly what you guys are going through. i blush over the stupidest things...just hearing my name is school can make me blush and i cant control it. I started getting it just this last year in school and i thought it was just shyness and kinda blew it off but then i started getting really panicky and blushing all the time, it is horrible i hate going to school more than ever now and meeting new people...I talked to my mom about it and she said im having panic/anxiety attacks...i think im going to the doctor soon...i just hope i can get rid of it and overcome my fear...because really im outgoing and i just dont feel like myself anymore because im afraid to say things that i would normally say because i might blush. it sucks!

the smallest things make me blush too, like if i go to get some paper from the front of the class and everyone is minding their own business and working, i still go bright red. this happened and my crush looked at me and i must have a looked soooo nervous it was extremely embarassing.
i hate school too and was planning on dropping out after year 11 just because of my blushing.

same here Yves ive over come the anxiety attacks or most of them but the blushing is reli still holding me back and makes me feel worse just wen i think it will get better if i cud overcome that it wud be GREAT!

It's just terrible how vulnerable we feel! A simple task sets us off and then we go downward. I was doing well at work for a while and then out of the blue it hits me. I'll realize that I'm finally not blushing, then I'll start blushing!

At work I was reading to our residents (I do activities with the elderly) and I was doing just fine. I took a different approach to my anxiety and it was all good. Then out of the blue last week it hit me. There were a few more people in the room than usual and also a family member was there. I was reading something and it felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head and my heart was in my throat. It was so terrible. I felt like such an asshole after all of that turning bright red, knowing they all saw it.

hi guys!
recently i finally mustered courage to see a doc regarding the blushing problem. i got a referral to see a pyschiatrist, am waiting for my very first appt! felt a lot better as i feel that i have taken the first step to facing up to the problem.

to everyone who's suffering in silence; let's seek help.

when i saw the doc, i brought along the wikipedia printout on 'social anxiety' and it started the ball rolling easier. i started weeping cos i was feeling so sad abt the condition. doctor was taken aback and started offering tissue and asked whether im suffering from depression *lol*

the doc said this is the 1st time someone walked in and talked abt social blushing. can u imagine how nervous i was while waiting to see him!!

will post after my 1st appt. in the meantime, everyone whos suffering, lets try to get help instead of sitting and feeling depressed.

in the meantime, have made a trip to the library and is reading a self-guide on using CBT for social anxiety. i realli wan to pull myself out of this.

good luck to everyone n myself

anxietyrulesme said:

hi guys!
recently i finally mustered courage to see a doc regarding the blushing problem. i got a referral to see a pyschiatrist, am waiting for my very first appt! felt a lot better as i feel that i have taken the first step to facing up to the problem.

to everyone who's suffering in silence; let's seek help.

when i saw the doc, i brought along the wikipedia printout on 'social anxiety' and it started the ball rolling easier. i started weeping cos i was feeling so sad abt the condition. doctor was taken aback and started offering tissue and asked whether im suffering from depression *lol*

the doc said this is the 1st time someone walked in and talked abt social blushing. can u imagine how nervous i was while waiting to see him!!

will post after my 1st appt. in the meantime, everyone whos suffering, lets try to get help instead of sitting and feeling depressed.

in the meantime, have made a trip to the library and is reading a self-guide on using CBT for social anxiety. i realli wan to pull myself out of this.

good luck to everyone n myself

Click to expand...

Nice tro hear someone's finally tackling the problem
cant wait to hear what happens.

yea...i know how you feel, but, i think you should seek help, talk to your school counsler or somethin...i never really noticed a problem with my blushing until after highschool...then i became depressed and just pissed off at everything, i hated shit, and i still do really....but i think you should talk to someone about it, cause you may feel better if you let out what you really think, and maybe you should talk to your doctor about medication as well, cause i went on "lexapro", and it kindof worked for me....i think the best thing to do is to just accept it, no matter how hard it is for you, and just try to be as open as possible to get better...because i was the same way, friends could try to talk to me and i blush...i still do sometimes...its retarded..but its what it is..i think in time we can get better....but i defenatly do hate it, i really dont have problems with talking to other people and shit like that, i just blush sometimes and it sucks...its bull shit really......

but i think you should talk to someone about it, it can probably make you feel better, ask your counsler if you can talk to him/her, maybe during lunch or after school or somethin, i dont know....i hope you start feeling better....

I'm 19 and blush whenever i feel that someone is looking at me or when even getting the slightest bit embarrassed. I hardly cared about it until a year ago when I heard someone say something along the lines of "Look at that guys face, its bright red", now whenever im in a social situation i can't stop thinking about it.

I can always feel it coming on (my face getting warmer) and that makes me even more embarrassed. Dosn't help when you have very pale skin. The blushing was one of the main factors that lead to me dropping of the course i was doing.

Its nice to discover that your not the only one that is going through this .

Hello fellow blushers

I want to cry reading your messages - I can so relate to the pain inside, that crushing feeling, when you feel like such an idiot and that hopeless feeling that there is nothing you can do about. Blushing is soooo difficult to deal with because we just can't hide it.

These things have helped me manage it (really) I still have setbacks but they are rare:

1. Accept that you blush. It's Ok to blush. In fact some people like it when you blush. Think to yourself - when you saw someone else blush did it make you like them any less. Of course not. In fact you were probably more connected to that person.

2. Exercise vigoursly every day - this definately helps.

3. Avoid caffine and other stimulating drinks (include alcohol)

4. Everytime you replay yourself blushing or think about blushing distract your mind with something else. Listen to music. Watch your favourite TV show. Read - just do something, anything to keep your mind off it

5. When you do find yourself blushing - try and focus on the moment. On what the other person is saying or doing. Practice focusing on anything other than the blushing - say who cares, so what if I blush.

6. Most importantly - while blushing SMILE - even if you fake a smile - smiling covers so much and makes us feel better.

7. When you can practice trying to blush on purpose. This works. If you try to make yourself blush you just can't do it.

Butterflies said:

Hello fellow blushers

I want to cry reading your messages - I can so relate to the pain inside, that crushing feeling, when you feel like such an idiot and that hopeless feeling that there is nothing you can do about. Blushing is soooo difficult to deal with because we just can't hide it.

These things have helped me manage it (really) I still have setbacks but they are rare:

1. Accept that you blush. It's Ok to blush. In fact some people like it when you blush. Think to yourself - when you saw someone else blush did it make you like them any less. Of course not. In fact you were probably more connected to that person.

2. Exercise vigoursly every day - this definately helps.

3. Avoid caffine and other stimulating drinks (include alcohol)

4. Everytime you replay yourself blushing or think about blushing distract your mind with something else. Listen to music. Watch your favourite TV show. Read - just do something, anything to keep your mind off it

5. When you do find yourself blushing - try and focus on the moment. On what the other person is saying or doing. Practice focusing on anything other than the blushing - say who cares, so what if I blush.

6. Most importantly - while blushing SMILE - even if you fake a smile - smiling covers so much and makes us feel better.

7. When you can practice trying to blush on purpose. This works. If you try to make yourself blush you just can't do it.

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Thanks for the advices