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Old 11-09-2011
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Inspired by another thread, I'm curious as to what we feel we would be worthy of having in a partner.

I realize that not everyone here seeks nor feels worthy of a romantic partner, so I've opted to drop the adjective. So if thinking about a significant other makes you uncomfortable, just imagine what you'd like to have in a best friend or activity buddy. I'll even go first.

As much as I joke about needing a beautiful woman who is independently wealthy, lives in a castle, and has a collection of hunting hawks and falcons, I'd settle for one who can play Paganini's Violin Concerto No. 1 on solo violin.

Oh, seriously? Hm.... I could see myself with someone who is sweet, kind, smart (I mean "intelligent"), and who will at least put up with my attempts at humor. She'd enjoy spending time with me, but would also be okay doing things separately as well (don't want to smother each other). She'd enjoy animals and outdoorsy stuff as much as sitting on our rumps at home. Oh, and she'd really like food, too.

Now please don't let me feel like a donkey agailn....
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Let's see.... my dream partner would have to be someone who I can completely be myself around without fear of being judged, someone who can stand up for herself and do things by herself, average or higher intelligence, someone with dreams and the drive to reach them, someone who can stand my corny jokes and puns, someone who will support me, and, most importantly, someone who can give as much love to me as I do to them.
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Old 11-09-2011
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A person who accepts even the aspects of myself that I don't.
Someone who will tell me the truth even if they think it's not what I want to hear.
Someone who understands my medical condition and isn't freaked out about it.
Someone who will never lay a hand on me no matter how out of their mind they are.
Someone who loves animals - both cats and dogs; not one or the other.
Someone who likes to give to charity rather than getting 'one more luxury'.
Someone who can spend 30 hours straight playing a game on launch day so I can watch.


If it's romantic - someone who will only be with me romantically and won't stray.
Someone who doesn't get sick of me baking and cooking every day.
Someone who is polite and respects people who work below them.
Someone who isn't going to abandon me.
I deserve that much and won't accept anything less.
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Old 11-09-2011
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I don't really know what I "deserve", I don't even know what I want really. I almost feel like I don't deserve anyone, because everyone is too good for me. I just don't really have any specifics, they're hard for me to make for some reason. I just want to be comfortable around someone and have them actually like me back.
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Old 11-09-2011
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I think I deserve loyalty at least,so no cheating,cant like cheaters or have any relation with taken man,also cant like people who are not really good because there would be no trust,so thats eliminating a LOT of people,I have turned down girls because of that in the past,but lately nothing happens anymore.
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Old 11-09-2011
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Someone who loves me and cares about me, and who is somewhat intelligent (not a genius, just someone to talk about anything with).
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Old 11-09-2011
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Someone who can handle me at my worst, because God knows they'll deserve me at my best if they can. Someone who, even though they can't understand me, they'll stick around anyway. Someone who is direct with me and is supportive, rather than picking at everything about me that bothers them and saying they don't like it.
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Old 11-09-2011
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This an interesting thread. In the past, when I was younger, I used to deliberately go out with men who I thought I "deserved" but weren't the best for me (i.e. drug users/addicts, cheaters etc.) I had a lot of problems myself (i.e. OCD, self-injury, and just allover neurosis). And so I felt that if I loved them and accepted them as they were they would accept me and love as I was. But they never loved me. A few years ago I entered into a relationship that wasn't ideal but did so because I didn't feel I deserved better. It is hard for me to describe a partner I deserve because I am already with someone and I love him. He is not perfect, but neither am I. Still, there are some things I want/need and just don't get from him and it is a big problem for me:

I need someone who is more open...with his feelings, with trying new things...

Someone with some drive, who does his own thing but still includes me in his life

A funny guy who isn't afraid to say what is on his mind. Who pays attention to what I say. A good listener

A sharp dresser with good taste in music, who introduces me to new things

I want someone I can have adventures with: explore new cities, try new foods...have new experiences...

a partner in crime.

Loyalty is important. No cheating. No abuse. Don't hit me or call me names. Don't laugh at what I say.

I have always had very high expectations for friends. Now I see I was being unfair. I won't stand backstabbing, but I am much more flexible now. Just don't be a flaker and it is all good.

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Someone who can spend 30 hours straight playing a game on launch day so I can watch.
If I could do this I would be my boyfriend's ideal girl. Alas, I am not one that enjoys watching his game-playing. I need more stimulation.
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Old 11-09-2011
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I just want somebody who can accept me for who I am, just like I would for him.
So somebody who can accept that:

- I need my time to be alone occasionally
- I'm not a girly-girl and I never will be
- he does not instantly become more important to me than my family or friends just because he is my 'partner'. I've never understood people who suddenly meet someone special and suddenly that person becomes more important to them than everybody else so they shut them all out, and I've got really annoyed with ex boyfriends who have felt that just because they are my 'boyfriend' they should dominate most of my free time and be a part of everything I do I'm looking for a guy who feels the same and makes time for his friends and family regardless of what I'm doing.
- Somebody who accepts that I want to travel. On my own. Sometimes. And yes I'll do this regardless of what you think.


Haha, I know I probably sound like a bit of a diva. I'm just bitter from past experiences. I don't think I'm really meant for relationships.
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Old 11-09-2011
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I would want someone who is caring and understanding, and by all means loyal. Someone who will listen to me when I need to talk, who won't pry when I don't feel like talking, who will give me space when I need it and isn't clingy, but will be there for me at my worst.
Someone who is aware and understanding of my issues, and will look out for me, not mock me for it.
Someone that has both a sense of humor and a sense of seriousness.
Someone that loves animals and loves to cook as much as I do.
Someone who is willing to be patient with me, as it takes me a while to actually open up with someone.
Someone who treats everyone with respect and doesn't think highly of themselves.

I'd look for any of these qualities in both a friend and a partner.

Bonus if said partner is tall and has dark hair... And has very similar music interests as I do.
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Old 11-09-2011
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This topic actually kinda inspired me to write a journal entry on what a real friend is.
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Old 11-09-2011
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I don't think too much about deserving someone, specially because the world doesn't work on the basis of people getting what they deserve. But nevertheless I think there is some "deserving" involved when you look out for a partner instead of just waiting for that person to magically fall on your lap (on the cases where people actively looks without results, all I can say is that it sucks and is a good example of how life ain't fair).

To make a crude filter of what I want it would be like this:
"Does any of this names say anything to you: Buddy Holly, Douglas Adams, Aldous Huxley, Erwin Rommel, Mario Andretti, Erich Hartman?" If the answer is "never heard of any of them", we may be friends but nothing else. If we can have a conversation out of that question, you'll have to be a very understanding and open minded woman, may be more in order for me to be myself than for me to accept you.

But beyond me putting any conditions, which really seems awful to me (two people like each other or not, period), I know that there are women out there too close to my ideal for what it would be believable, yet they exist. The problem is to find one who considers me a potential partner as well :P

PS: And something I can't tolerate is the "is anything wrong?" and she answers "nothing" when is obvious that something is wrong (not that it has ever happened to me).
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Old 11-09-2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by this_portrait View Post
This topic actually kinda inspired me to write a journal entry on what a real friend is.
I would definitely read that journal
I posted a thread not long ago about online friends, it got me really thinking what they represent to us in textual meaning.
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Old 11-09-2011
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Idk what I actually deserve from another person, but something like who can understand and accept for who Im for starters...... and good looks of course haha
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I'll skip the romantic part and just describe what kind of friend I would like to have...
My ideal friend would be intelligent and easy to talk to. She would invite me out to do stuff maybe once or twice a week. She would not have a million other friends, because I would get jealous and feel left out. My friend would enjoy the things I like to do, maybe we could get together to garden, discuss books, take walks, bake yummy things, watch movies...my friend would be sincere and emotionally available, so that I could go to her with any problem and we would not feel awkward. She would be funny, but not catty or gossipy. She would have her own life, but would think of me as her best friend, and would love me and cherish me for all that I am.
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Old 11-09-2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
A person who accepts even the aspects of myself that I don't.
Someone who will tell me the truth even if they think it's not what I want to hear.
Someone who understands my medical condition and isn't freaked out about it.
Someone who will never lay a hand on me no matter how out of their mind they are.
Someone who loves animals - both cats and dogs; not one or the other.
Someone who likes to give to charity rather than getting 'one more luxury'.
Someone who can spend 30 hours straight playing a game on launch day so I can watch.


If it's romantic - someone who will only be with me romantically and won't stray.
Someone who doesn't get sick of me baking and cooking every day.
Someone who is polite and respects people who work below them.
Someone who isn't going to abandon me.
I deserve that much and won't accept anything less.

ALMOST VERBATIM. Except; cats not dogs and the baking/cooking thing.

Plus: must be into all of the non-mainstream forms of entertainment, since music/shows/art shows etc are my life; um, be adventurous in the physical relations sense (how else to put that?); be almost insanely open minded to new experiences; romantic situations are MANDATORY, at least twice a week.
And I have a supply of wine & chocolate for whenever the need comes up.


How about we have a personals section on the site!
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Old 11-09-2011
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Someone who will listen to my feelings and can deal with my emotions.
Someone who will tell me the truth even if I do not want to hear it.
Someone who will never lie to me.
Someone I can feel attracted to sexually and mentally. (I dont find what most guys consider hot girls attractive for some reason.)
Someone who will love me for who I am and not what I have or dont have.
Someone who will not be afraid to show public affection.
Someone who will not use me for sex...cant tell you how many time this happened because of a stupid rumor i found out most my ex's knew from a girly friend at school...:(
Someone who will be there for me when I need them most.
Someone who would love spending as much time with me as I do them...I like alone time but I am usually attached...
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Old 11-09-2011
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What do I deserve, really? All I would ever ask for in a friend or partner is that they would be comfortable in sharing their problems and worries with me if they were comfortable doing so, and that they wouldn't be afraid to break up with me if they were unhappy. I wouldn't expect complete honesty from anybody, but I wouldn't want them to think they couldn't tell me something.
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Old 11-09-2011
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On purely hypothetical bases;

Someone whom is opening minded. And I mean REAL open minded, not the politically correct kind of open minded that stops dead in its tracks when it regards something that goes beyond mainstream.

Someone that wants affection, and retrieves it duly from me when he/she wants it, and doesn't wait for me to give it and end up being mad at me when I don't. Because I don't pick up on those kind of things.

Must like pizza. ESSENTIAL BEYOND ALL OTHER POINTS.

Preferably someone whom likes game/movies, but isn't a make or break aspect. Just a nice perk. :3

A sense of humor. Preferably either one (or all of) silly- dry- and/or dark humor.
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Old 11-09-2011
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^ Does anyone NOT like pizza?
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