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Old 04-06-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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What's the worst thing Courtney Love can say to you after a one night stand?
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"I'm not Courtney Love."
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Old 04-06-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
Here's a good fking joke;

My life.


Now laugh you SOB's.
Ye got a wee chuckle outta me for that one. In that in funny cuz I can relate way, y'know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
What's the worst thing Courtney Love can say to you after a one night stand?
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"I'm not Courtney Love."
Another good 'un, Fountain.
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FountainandFairfax (04-09-2017)
Old 04-06-2017
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Finally, a home for my sick, twisted humor.

How many infants does it take to change a basement lightbulb?
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A: Obviously a lot of them, because I've thrown 10 down there and its still pitch black.
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Old 04-09-2017
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There were 2 tom cats one day that had lived their whole lives on the city streets, scraping together food from the trash cans they could find. Eventually, the first cat told his other friend:
"I've had enough of this life. Cats have 9 lives, so perhaps in my next life I will come back as a beautiful house cat with a loving family. I can't take this life anymore so I'm going to go lie on the train tracks and get run over"
Days later the deed was done and the first cat flies upward to kitty cat heaven. Years later he meets his first friend arriving in heaven from years ago that watched him get flattened by the train.
"Hey, what's the big idea?! I thought cats had 9 lives, why did I go straight to heaven when I died?" he says to his friend.
The other cat replies:
"Yea, it's true cats have nine lives!
But you idiot...the train that killed you was pulling 8 cars + a caboose!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
What's the worst thing Courtney Love can say to you after a one night stand?
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"I'm not Courtney Love."
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

A: The second one.

😅 credit to Buddhistposssum from Reddit for this one.
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Old 04-10-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Ha ha, good stuff Tamale.
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Old 04-10-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Two mushrooms walk into a bar.

They buy a round of drinks for everybody, have a few laughs, everyone has a real good time.

As they're leaving, the bartender calls out to them:

You two come back anytime... you're a couple of fungi's.
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Not really a joke per se, but funny nonetheless
Lemonade and Death
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Old 11-07-2017
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*bumps a thread from the last page of the Off Topic sub-forum*
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Old 11-10-2017
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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
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Why were the Star Wars movies 1,2, and 3, made AFTER the Star Wars movies 4,5 and 6 were made?
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In charge of Production Sequencing, Yoda was.

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Old 11-10-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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I should've seen that coming.
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