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Old 03-07-2012
montejocarlo's Avatar
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Post your jokes here.

This is a place where you can laugh and be cheerful.


Let me share some jokes I've collected

1) Last night, I’m lying on my bed, looking up the sky and the stars,
the sky is so clear and the night is so peaceful;
at last I said...........................
God, where is our roof?


2) Teacher: Arnold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested??
Arnold: A teacher!!!


3) A cute and funny way to ask someone out….

Boy: I’m invisible!

Girl: Really?

Boy: Can you see me?

Girl: Of course!

Boy: 7 pm tonight?

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Old 03-07-2012
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David Blaine is said to be gutted after his record for doing f all in a box for 44 days was smashed by Fernando Torres
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Old 03-07-2012
 

Where does ET live? Uranus! (your ****)
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Old 03-07-2012
 

I've got more! What did the buffalo said when his son went off to college?
Bison!
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Old 03-07-2012
Falkor's Avatar
Singing Bird
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I might be a hermit, like a weird alien, or otherwise called a monster.

There's still one person that would date those kind of creatures,

that is, called, Miss Lady Gaga. She has her own Monster Ball world.

She can take you to her world, you're not alone.

And there are more lady gaga's and mister chacha's out there.

Have fun, monsterrs.

I'm a monster too, and I love my monstrious amazing lover.

So, that's what counts. Monsters, are nice!
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Old 03-07-2012
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Singing Bird
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WHen you look at my picture, you might think it's a cat, all though it's not, it's just in your imagination, just like social anxiety, because..

it's a black seal, don't trust me, i'll proof ya, she makes sounds like a seal and she looks outside the window all day, just like a fearful person, she sings randomly with the birds all day.

<3
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Old 03-07-2012
 

How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan.
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Old 03-07-2012
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Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are vanishing into thin air.
Police say they have several leads.
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Old 03-07-2012
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Q: How many cops does it take to change a light bulb ?

A: None, they just beat the room being black,
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Old 03-07-2012
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What do Chinese parents call their disabled child? What Went Wong.
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Old 03-08-2012
 

Why didn't the socially anxious skeleton go to the party?

He had nobody to go with...so he was afraid people would judge him for that.
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Old 03-08-2012
montejocarlo's Avatar
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ALL ABOUT MARRIAGE

Fact or Fiction (you make the call):


1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

2. Marriage is an institution where the man loses his Bachelorís Degree and the woman gets her Masterís Degree.

3. Marriage is all about balance.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

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Old 03-08-2012
Aletheia's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by montejocarlo View Post
God, where is our roof?
This one made me laugh.
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Old 03-08-2012
 

The trouble with making love to a blind woman is copying the sound of her husbands voice...

too much? potential thread killer?... I dont write em...blame Jimmy Carr..
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Old 03-08-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KiaKaha View Post
The trouble with making love to a blind woman is copying the sound of her husbands voice...

too much? potential thread killer?... I dont write em...blame Jimmy Carr..
Hahaha! That ones awesome, Kia.
Best joke of the whole thread if you ask me.
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Old 03-08-2012
MikeyC's Avatar
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Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.
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Old 03-20-2012
montejocarlo's Avatar
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A husband coming home from a confession, suddenly he lifted his wife and carried her.

Wife: Why, did the priest tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No, he told me to carry my cross!
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Old 03-20-2012
 

I was going to make a joke about condescension.... but I dont think any of you will understand it.
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Old 03-20-2012
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Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning it is hearts and diamonds and at the end you wish for a club and spade.
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Old 03-20-2012
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Did you guys see that story on CNN about the guy who got caught in a textile machine? Lost his left arm and leg, but don't worry, he's all right now.
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