the isolation is getting to be too much

lauraa517

Member
i'm not housebound like i used to be, now i can go to work and to school but i'm still isolated. there is some sort of disconnect that just happens whenever i'm around people. i live with my best friend and i feel responsible for her dwindling social life. i want friends, but a lot of the time i feel like most friendships are meaningless/superficial and i don't like being caught up in mindless conversation.

can anyone relate?
 

Gaucho

Well-known member
hi, yes. isolation is totally killing me. even when my social anxiety is better, I'm not able to connect with people.

isolation is the worst thing ever, over the last 3 years i turned into a loner, and because of all the time spent alone, i developed other mental illnesses.

it got so bad that I'm not able to go to class, college. in 2 years of college I made literally 0 friends, all because of my avoidance problems. I'm going to see a therapist now, otherwise I'm going to die in this pain.

I don't even care if I fail all my classes, I really don't!, i just want a friend to get drunk with and have a good lough, nothing more.
 
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planemo

Well-known member
yes i can relate. i stay at home almost all of the time. i really wish i had some people in real life i could relate to, and talk to on a regular basis.
 

kotulakj2

Member
I have the exact same problem. The thing is if you're an extreme introvert which I am, it's almost impossible to have conversations with people over the long haul. I mean nothing really new ever happens to me so it's like what can we discuss other than current news or sports. For me the first time meeting someone is probably easier than it would have probably been in the past for me. You have so many things you find out about them in one discussion involving their interests, hobbies, what their family and friends are like etc. But when it comes to the 5th, 6th, and every other meeting after that it makes it really hard if you don't really get out of your house. I think my solution is that I'm going to try to do 1 thing every weekend out even if it's just for an hour or 2. I don't really want to, but I need to keep saying to myself I MUST put myself out there. I need experiences with people and if it fails it fails. But the beauty of failed experiences is that you can share those failed experiences with other people and there you go it gives you something to talk about.

I like people, but value being alone because unlike the majority of people I feel I could handle being independent. There isn't anything wrong with needing people as in your case, but it's kind of like winning a war. Sure it's important to most people to not go up against an entire army by yourself, but if you really feel you have ways to perfectly handle it independently then nothing should stop you. From what I've read people are important to you, try joining clubs. I'm thinking of a joining a running club, because I like running and allows me to interact with people that hopefully will be my age.
 

lauraa517

Member
When I lived on campus I was a part of a lot of clubs. I now rely on public transport to get me to and from school, so extra activities isn't really an option anymore :/ I just started going to Al-Anon meetings though and love the group of people there. I'm not sure though if they can really count as "friends" since I'm barely 20 and most of them are 50+. It's human contact though which I appreciate and am thankful for.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I used to feel very isolated and alone. Living in a new city and barely knowing anybody. But I moved back home several years ago and now I have some social interaction.

When I lived on campus, I also joined several clubs/societies and participated in group activities but I was still not happy. I joined a Christian society but felt like a hypocrite. I didn't feel Christian at all. I later found out the only reason I joined was because of the kindness of the people as well as the friendships I made. So I told those people that Christianity didn't seem right for me. After I transferred and moved away, those friendships disappeared.
 

SpaceGhost

Member
I know the feeling, outside of work I spend almost all my time at home alone. I generally don't mind it as I prefer my own company as opposed to other people's, but sometimes I do get really lonely.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
i want friends, but a lot of the time i feel like most friendships are meaningless/superficial and i don't like being caught up in mindless conversation.
From this line, I think that you are subconsciously avoiding contact with people, which is consciously hurting you. You're devaluing friendship before it's even occurred.

Friendships are about give-and-take. There will be aspects of a friend you won't like, and vice versa. If you're feeling as lonely as you are, I think you need to take a risk with people.

To make friends, there's plenty of things you can do. If you're into volunteering, there's probably a thousand places you could volunteer at! Joining clubs and finding people that share hobbies with you is a good start. Good luck! :thumbup:
 

nodnizzle

New member
I have problems with being isolated as well. I've been hospitalized all my life in psych wards about once a year and was just diagnosed with having agoraphobia. Makes sense, my parents used to make me stay in my room all the time and it turned into the safe place. Everywhere I live eventually becomes my safe place and where I don't like to leave for any reason.

Anyways, I find that putting on some headphones with my favorite music and just going for a 10 minute walk or something can help me to quit feeling so isolated. I go where no people are, and the most terrifying part for me is getting out of my apartment complex because I don't like not being in control over who's around me and there are always random people walking around outside.

So, yeah you can make it a point to go 5 minutes outside then 10. Eventually you can make it out there even if you just try to check your mail one day and the next try something that takes longer.

Currently I'm struggling with hanging out with friends in my home. The randomness that brings into my life is very frightening to me. I only have about 3 friends still that understand me and will only come by if I feel up to it. I try to have someone to talk to in person besides my psychiatrist once every two weeks. I have to avoid drinking and things of that nature when I'm around people because while it does make me feel a little better, in the end it adds to my anxiety.

Oh, and hi I'm new here, sorry for the long post. I don't really know of anyone else that has to deal with this which is why I signed up. Have a good day everyone.
 

Dariushka

Well-known member
Same here. I dno how to get out of this mess ..

Hello :) you are an Elite user and still haven't found a way out. Doesnt seem like it's curable. I'm sure this website helps a lot. If to share feelings at least. I fight against it. Every day with more or less success but now I'm deep down lower than anywhere I thought I could fall..Alice in that rabbit hole..
 

ukmale

Well-known member
Well hello there everyone

I have spent the last 8yrs mostly house bound .. yeah at times the isolation does start to play on ones mind ect but I don't know find it better than being in a room full of fake people

I don't know what's wrong with me just it really truly doesn't interest me at all 1st of May yesterday was my birthday but I tell my family every year don't make a big fuss as don't really enjoy it being the centre of attention or even being known by the out side world I'm happy reading my books watching my tv shows than trying to talk to a group of boring fake people
 
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