That 'missing out on life' feeling...

.,,,,\.................................

..,,,,,,/,,,,,,,,,,/,,,,,,

I think this is a very important post. I can completely relate to what you are saying. I think that if you can just allow yourself to let go of that feeling, you'll find you are a lot happier for it. After all, we are all our own worst enemies. If we can stop mentally torturing ourselves about what we have or are missing out on, it totally changes things.

I would say that one of, if not my biggest problem, is an inability to let go of the past. I always find myself thinking back to all through all my years in terms of 'jesus christ, isn't that a hell of a long time to never have a proper girlfriend?' I'll be overwhelmed with either sadness or self-directed anger when I think about all this time as one great big missed opportunity. By contrast, if you're only ever living in the moment, then you'll rarely find anything to get upset about- not that I'm in any way saying this is desirable or feasible, but you get my point.

It's nothing new but it's still very true (rhyme intended 8) )- there's just no point agonising about the past. keep the good stuff; don't try and erase the bad stuff, but just don't worry about it.

ghost_train said:

I think this is a very important post. I can completely relate to what you are saying. I think that if you can just allow yourself to let go of that feeling, you'll find you are a lot happier for it. After all, we are all our own worst enemies. If we can stop mentally torturing ourselves about what we have or are missing out on, it totally changes things.

I would say that one of, if not my biggest problem, is an inability to let go of the past. I always find myself thinking back to all through all my years in terms of 'jesus christ, isn't that a hell of a long time to never have a proper girlfriend?' I'll be overwhelmed with either sadness or self-directed anger when I think about all this time as one great big missed opportunity. By contrast, if you're only ever living in the moment, then you'll rarely find anything to get upset about- not that I'm in any way saying this is desirable or feasible, but you get my point.

It's nothing new but it's still very true (rhyme intended 8) )- there's just no point agonising about the past. keep the good stuff; don't try and erase the bad stuff, but just don't worry about it.

Click to expand...

I can totally relate too and you are so right. its just so easy to slip into the sadness over it all sometimes tho

I can relate to this too. I've felt this my whole life. And I realised ill probably never enjoy going out and partying etc...

I decided the trick is to take small steps. And find things I do like. I've finished school, and its so much tougher to make friends now. So when i feel lonely but depressed, and have no motivation, i just go to a local cafe and read a book. Its relaxing, i'm around people, but i have no pressure to talk to anyone. Its just nicer than being home alone.

Then i joined a martial arts class. Its great because we're doing martial arts, thats the perfect excuse to actually talk to people, and when i don't feel like talking, i can just concentrate on the drills, and no one will think i'm weird, or too quiet.

I think the best thing to do, is on those days where you have a little motivation, go out, try something. If it doesn't work, just say "meh.." and try again next time you feel up to it. But don't think too much, worry too much. I'm not sure if my solution is right for me, but i feel better now that i'm trying something.

I'm feeling like that right now!

I feel your pain Icarus. Same thing happens to me. I feel consumed by these thoughts. Its even worse when others are talking about all the cool things they're doing and you're not included.
Its a vicious circle: anxiety=loneliness=isolation=sadness=anxiety.

I get really nostalgic and think of how great my life COULD HAVE turned out, if I'd learned about SA earlier and made other choices. I get so frustrated. It's not fair that I had this "disease" and it screwed up everything for me, when I had all the potential I could wish for.

..................

This is probably.. hmm... no, it's definitely the worst thing you can think about in our situation.

IcarusUnderWater2 said:

Does anyone get that feeling that you have missed out on so much and you just feel overwhelmed by sadness?

Its like i think about how everyone has been having fun for years... but i haven't even started. It is also accompanied by thoughts that everyone my age is having fun right this second.

I get this multiple times per day. It actually makes me feel so depressed and sick.

The way i relieve the stress is by imagining myself fitting in to a group and partying... these thoughts make me happy. But then reality strikes and i realise i would never be able to fit in and have fun... or atleast thats how it seems. I also remember that i am an F'ing loner. The kind of person people make jokes about.

Sometimes i don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Click to expand...

good post mate get this all the time as well, ive got younger brothers and seeing them going out to clubs holidays with there mates and just enjoying themselves really gets to me. i found that i think about my past to much far to much i then start to think what might have been and then snap im back in reality and compare what might have been with the situation im in now, this more then most other things makes me depressed i just feel like im wasting my life a spectator with no control, im a prisoner in my own mind a fucking slave to my emotions.
sometimes i wish there was a way to erase my memory start over and wake up somewhere else other then this giant hole ive dug myself into,im running out of options and getting old fast the last 4 years have flown by i have never had a proper girlfreind and im 22, i havnt asked a girl out in over 4 years the main reason being that i dont have any freinds because i think that as soon as she finds out im billy no mates she will dump me, i dont think i could take that sort of rejection.im sick of being alone and S.A.D
when you start to think of a memory that you know is going to upset you what do you do?im just wonndering because i have started doing stupid stuff like saying "kill yourself" or "shut the fuk up will you please" i wont just say it once ill say it a few times quite loudly as well i dont mean it or meant to it just happens and if im holding something ill do something with that object like juggle it or throw it up in the air a few times

I feel this way all of the time. But then, I wonder if the "life" I see others so cheerfully leading is really all it's cracked up to be. I've found that absolutely nothing in life is ever as good as you might hope.

I know exactly how you feel. I get that same sense, that I’ve missed out on so many of those “coming of age” moments, or at least haven’t experienced them yet. I try not to dwell on this though, because it brings a person down. I guess there’s no sense in looking at the past and regretting it, we just have to keep positive about the present, and think of the future as full of opportunity and potential, even if its hard to do.

This actually reminds me of that song by The Bravery, “Time won’t let me go” its exactly how I feel, here are the lyrics:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bravery/timewontletmego.html