anomicdeer
Well-known member
I still have nothing. I am still trying right now, but I don't feel anything good will happen. I know that maybe if I mature up and work my ass off them maybe I will get what I want( I don't mean control, I don't want to rob people or rip them off or kill anyone that makes me mad). I want to be happy, get a job I love and be proud of who I am. Have a family maybe and just... love life.
I just feel that it won't happen. I don't want to try anymore. I guess I really am a lazy stupid little girl. I want someone to take me away, so I won't have to be responsible for anything. Where I don't have to think. Where I can just be miserable and die. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want anyone to think of me as "weak" because I committed suicide. I want to go away, lose contact with the people I know, and let them wonder. That would be better than killing myself. I don't care if I got a free plane ticket and the plane crashed or blew up. I just can't take this anymore. I don't know how to do this. I want an easy way in and I don't understand anything. So I don't deserve anything.
I just feel that it won't happen. I don't want to try anymore. I guess I really am a lazy stupid little girl. I want someone to take me away, so I won't have to be responsible for anything. Where I don't have to think. Where I can just be miserable and die. I don't want to try anymore. I don't want anyone to think of me as "weak" because I committed suicide. I want to go away, lose contact with the people I know, and let them wonder. That would be better than killing myself. I don't care if I got a free plane ticket and the plane crashed or blew up. I just can't take this anymore. I don't know how to do this. I want an easy way in and I don't understand anything. So I don't deserve anything.