Sweet Marie's Thread

Silatuyok

Well-known member
RIP little Hoagy. You were very loved.

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NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
^That's why I don't think I could take in sick animals like you do, or work at a vet's office for that matter. All that heartbreak--I just don't know if I could handle it.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
It is really tough at times, but it helps to be able to look into the faces of the animals who adore me because I helped save their lives. I'd rather be stressed out but know that I'm doing what I can to help as many as possible.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
I feel exhausted this week. Not physically, but emotionally. I'm worried that the deepening of winter is making my meds less effective. In the past several weeks I have forgotten just how awful it is to be anxious, easily agitated, saddened by things that shouldn't be so bad. I feel troubled for no particular reason. I'm not sure how I survived this through the first 29 years of my life.
As a function of my anxiety, I've been having some insanely strange dreams. I hate it when people say, "It was just a dream." It's not just a dream, it's my freaking subconscious trying to claw its way out of my brain while I'm sleeping! What could possibly be scarier or more troubling than that? All of my repressed emotions come bubbling up to the surface in 3D, and I can't do anything but lie there and watch it all play out. Sometimes I wake up realizing that I have issues I didn't even know about.
I'm not sure how to handle this day. I feel like I should get up and get moving, make the day a productive one, but all I want to do is go back to sleep after such an exhausting night. I'm hoping the day gets better than it was before it even started.
 

Ithior

Well-known member
Might be worth trying again, though I'm not going to start setting my alarm clock for all odd hours of the night. :)

I didn't know that was a strategy to get lucid dreams. I have lucid dreams often (usually only when I'm not trying to have one). I actually wake up naturally several times during the night, and fall back asleep within a few seconds. I guess that's one of the reasons why I have so many lucid dreams.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
A little creative inspiration for the day.

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See the full version here:
Be Friends with Failure | Doodle Alley

I used to be a very creative person, always trying out new things and eager to learn how to do things. I'm not sure when that changed, but lately I have a tendency to just give up as soon as I don't get the exact results I want. I really want to be more musically skilled, but I just hate the thought of anyone hearing all the wrong notes or missed beats. I think I am better at photography because no one has to see my mistakes, they can all be erased and forgotten with the click of a button. I have lost my ability to be vulnerable, to open myself up to failure in the attempt to do something new. I admire those who put their work out there for everyone to see, even if it isn't very good. Those who get up on stage and sing, even if their voice cracks. Somewhere along the line I have gotten stuck in this rut of negative thinking, keeping me from trying again and again until I get something right.

Today I want to have the courage to fail, and see what comes out of it.

Absolutely true in many ways, but I fear there are notable exceptions.

In the arts, for instance, you have Picasso who mastered drawing as a child, and of course Michelangelo who IMHO had so much talent to begin with, the only thing left for him to do was the work itself--true he worked so hard it affected his health and he neglected his appearance, but, put an average mind in his shoes and give him a chisel, a block of marble, and a paintbrush, I don't think you come out with anything remotely close to what he did. Powerful intellect is the reason for the greatest achievements in many if not most domains.

How do you explain the kid who understands calculus at 6 years old, but never took any courses?

Unfortunately hard work will not cure mediocre intellect; efficient grey matter triumphs over all.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
That's really interesting. Do you still practice this? When I was little I would try to control my dreams, but I haven't ever gotten the hang of it. Might be worth trying again, though I'm not going to start setting my alarm clock for all odd hours of the night. :)
I definitely still do lucid dreaming. I don't try to control every dream, but it's good to have it as an option. For a lot of dreams it's like I'm the director and star of a 3d movie in full color with an unlimited special effects budget. Sometimes I'm downright heartbroken when I wake up and lose that.
 
I definitely still do lucid dreaming. I don't try to control every dream, but it's good to have it as an option. For a lot of dreams it's like I'm the director and star of a 3d movie in full color with an unlimited special effects budget. Sometimes I'm downright heartbroken when I wake up and lose that.

What!? How did you learn to do that? I thought that was just something people said was possible but wasn't really possible.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
What!? How did you learn to do that? I thought that was just something people said was possible but wasn't really possible.
I just sort of pieced it together after studying a lot of psychology and reading on dreams and such. I was just a tad younger than yourself when I figured it out, as i recall.

I've reserved for myself the ability to fly in any dream if I need to. Flying is cool. There are some dream worlds in my head I've been revisiting for decades now.

:)
 
I just sort of pieced it together after studying a lot of psychology and reading on dreams and such. I was just a tad younger than yourself when I figured it out, as i recall.

I've reserved for myself the ability to fly in any dream if I need to. Flying is cool. There are some dream worlds in my head I've been revisiting for decades now.

:)

That is just ridiculously unfair :p Are you offering any courses? Sign me up!
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I feel exhausted this week. Not physically, but emotionally. I'm worried that the deepening of winter is making my meds less effective. In the past several weeks I have forgotten just how awful it is to be anxious, easily agitated, saddened by things that shouldn't be so bad. I feel troubled for no particular reason. I'm not sure how I survived this through the first 29 years of my life.
Winter can have that effect on people, especially you guys since it snows there and there's not much sunlight day to day. Just keep being active and talk to people that mean a lot to you and you'll be okay. You're a strong woman - I have faith that you'll be okay. :thumbup:
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
I'm having trouble putting on my game face today. I'm dreading the thought of showing up at work with my puffy face and my bloodshot eyes. And my most dreaded fear is to start crying in front of my coworkers. I very briefly considered calling in for the first time since I started there almost two years ago. But there are dozens of sick animals who are fighting for their lives and I'm the only one available to give them the care they need. At least it feels good to be needed. It's going to be a rough 12 hours.

When I was in fifth grade, we lived less than a mile from my gradeschool. I often walked to school or caught a bus, but on this particular day it was raining hard, so my mom drove me to school and dropped me off out on the street in front. There was a little slope to walk up to the sidewalk from the curb, and the sopping wet grass gave away under my feet, causing me to slide back down. The entire right side of my jeans, ankle to hip, was caked with mud and grass-stained. Of course I turned back to the car in a panic, but my mom just looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, Marie, I have to go to work." And she drove off. I cried all the way to the classroom.

That's pretty much exactly how I feel today.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
Focusing on the good things that have happened this week:

-got an unexpected and very thoughtful Christmas present from a coworker.
-my Dad called just to chat.
-lots of adorable kittens and puppies to play with at work.
-an understanding and supportive sister.
-got compliments from a few people on how I do my job.
-received some photo prints in the mail and they look great!
-was given a box of caramel turtles, which I ate within a day.
-started on a new journey of self-discovery, prompted by recent events.

Not bad for the first three days of the week..let's see what the better half turns up.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
When I was nine my mom decided that I was old enough to be a "big kid." She told me that Santa Claus wasn't real, told me she wasn't going to tuck me in and sing to me at bedtime anymore, and started making secret arrangements to leave my dad. If I had known then how much impact that moment was going to have on me when I was turning 30, I probably would have been a little less nonchalant about the whole thing. It's weird how long-gone moments come back to haunt.

In other random news, I had an interesting dream just before I woke. I found myself trapped in some sort of elaborate compound, much like a college campus, but it was full of young women and we were all forced to take calculus classes. It wasn't too horrible until I discovered that there were dozens of sick animals at the compound who needed help, so I hatched a grand scheme not only to escape, but to take ALL of the sick animals with me. My dog made an appearance as a puppy. As part of my plan, I started anesthetizing cats and sticking them in my purse in order to sneak them out so we could all make our getaway.
In the end, I had to abandon the idea of savings the animals, and made my way solo to the fence at the perimeter of the expansive compound. I somehow got past the fence and took refuge in a woman's house. The last thing I remember from the dream is her helping me hide in her house while the people who ran the compound searched for me throughout all the neighborhoods. I guess I'll never know if I made it out of there alive and free.

...All things considered, I'm feeling great this Wednesday morning, and I'm looking forward to a day of relaxation and a chance to clean up this pig sty of a house. I get to see my sister today, so maybe we can have a good long talk about the mother situation.
 

SoScared

Well-known member
In other random news, I had an interesting dream just before I woke. I found myself trapped in some sort of elaborate compound, much like a college campus, but it was full of young women and we were all forced to take calculus classes. It wasn't too horrible until I discovered that there were dozens of sick animals at the compound who needed help, so I hatched a grand scheme not only to escape, but to take ALL of the sick animals with me. My dog made an appearance as a puppy. As part of my plan, I started anesthetizing cats and sticking them in my purse in order to sneak them out so we could all make our getaway.
In the end, I had to abandon the idea of savings the animals, and made my way solo to the fence at the perimeter of the expansive compound. I somehow got past the fence and took refuge in a woman's house. The last thing I remember from the dream is her helping me hide in her house while the people who ran the compound searched for me throughout all the neighborhoods. I guess I'll never know if I made it out of there alive and free.
Maybe not so many caramel turtles today.:idontknow:
 
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