success!

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
last night, i had an aquaintance invite me to dinner with her bf, another couple, and three other people. at first i thought it was only her and her friend and her bf, but then i got there and saw the table of people.


then i started getting quiet. i'm to the point in my progress with quiting paxil now that the side effects are gone and the the only reason i take it is to ward off withdrawal affects (i'm down to 5 mg).

then i FORCE myself to speak up before i even get to the "why are you so quiet?" stage. i'm gonna make my presense known! so i did and they even ended up liking me and want me to eat with them again! i couldn't believe it! all this time i thought i was socially handicapped! i'd burned it into my brain that i didn't know how to make friends or anything but now i realize that if i just put myself OUT THERE, things happen and people will come to you.

i hope this encourages someone, because if i can do it, so can you guys. best of luck
 

Derek

Well-known member
I'm happy for you, thats great! :D
I try to speak up when I go out with friends (wich dosen't happen too often) but I just dont have anyting to say, sometimes they are having a really interesting conversation and I have things to say that could involve me in their conversation, but I just cant seem to get it out.
maybe next time I go out I'll take your advice and just start talking.
I know what you mean too about waiting too long and then people start saying "why are you soo quite" at that point I feel like if I do actualy say something everyone will will look at me and be thinking "oh my god he said someting", and then I get even more scared to talk.
so next time I'll try it, just start talking right away and try to not be quite.
It'll be hard though :x

Derek
 

SilentOutlaw

Well-known member
That is great news. A nice positive story like that can inspire others to do the same. I definately think you have to force yourself to do things like that in order to improve. Sometimes it will work and you'll feel good that you did it, and other times it may not turn out as well, but at least you tried to make the effort. This is not the strategy for everyone, but for some people it can make a difference. Keep it up and good luck to you and anyone else making the effort to change.
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
thanks both of you, and i agree, it was hard, i even felt myself start to blush for a couple of moments there, and i felt the panic begin - "oh god, they're going to say something after they notice, i'm going to look stupid," but i just forced myself to put it out of my mind and say "LOOK dammit, they don't notice yet, you're fine, the world hasn't collapsed yet, trust your own abilities to be a normal person and you'll be fine"
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
yeah, i tried to pretty much say whatever came to mind, no matter what i thought they might think. but i kept in mind that i didn't know anyone so i didn't say anything like "GOD i hate theater majors!!"
 

bluenow

Well-known member
I'm so happy for you! :D


"i didn't say anything like "GOD i hate theater majors!!" hahahaha
 

HELLO

Member
that's great! Now, you'll be more inclined to accept a dinner invitation in the future! :!:
 

LotRfan

Member
Congrats to you Chilling__Echo :)

When i've been involved around people in places they are ok at first coz they think 'oh she's not saying anything coz she's a little shy right now', but then if it's left a little longer, they start thinking to themselves 'ok, so she's been sitting with us for some time now, and she's still not said anything', so then i get the, "Why don't you talk?" or "Isn't she quiet?" bit, and i get ackward and it's abit stupid if as soon as they have said that, and start talking with others again, and i join in, and they think "Oh my god! she talks!?" and it gets me embaressed and not want to join in again, and wish to just run...
like if someone says "Hey did you see that program last night, with that so-so actor in it, and he was acting as i so-so person, it was soo cool, i'm watching the next one next week?"
I'm thinking to myself 'yea, i did see it, but i can't speak up' and all the others are saying 'nah i didn't' or 'oh yes i did' and talking some more about it.
I know that if i could just start from the very start, from the very first conversation they are having and just pop a word or two into the coversation now and again that it will get easier and i'll find myself talking more and i won't get the 'Why are you quiet?" question again :)
But it will be hard, i'll try it when i'm in other group of people.
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
yeah, jump in as early as you can, people will automatically start reading you as an outgoing person from the start and if you start quieting down for whatever reason, they won't notice, b/c you've already talked. the sooner you jump in though, it's like it's understood that you can take control of the conversation and make your voice heard and won't have to fight for it to be heard later.

good luck:)
 
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