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Old 02-02-2015
Fox_W_Mulder's Avatar
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I've been struggling with Agoraphobia for a long time now and don't know what to do.

It has affected my ability to get into relationships. I'm not the type of person to do casual hookups, or get with someone just to be in a relationship. I'm only 19 and don't expect a relationship I get into now to last forever, but I do want to see some future with them before doing anything. The problem is I feel scared to make a move on the majority of girls I know and see around, because they're never what they seem. I have a fear of feeling trapped if I'm in a relationship, like I absolutely have to stay in it. I know that isn't true especially for people around my age, but still feel that way. Also I absolutely have to know what type of girl she is so I don't end up trapped in a bad relationship with someone. The area I live in is small and it makes me scared to open up as locations and contacts could be used against me.

I also have the fear of telling close family/friends that I'm dating someone. For example there's this guy I know who's something of a mentor to me, and a few months ago he asked if I had a girlfriend. I told him about this girl, and it made me feel scared. Like I absolutely had to stay with her, once we had a neutral separation the guy asked "how's the girlfriend doing?" I told him we aren't going anymore. Now I feel this nervousness and dread before going to where I know him because I feel trapped in a situation where he'll always persist in asking about my love life, and maybe even pressure me to pursue some of the girls from the place. I respect them a lot, and there's no real way to tell them to stop asking without it sounding rude, and I know they mean well and aren't at all trying to bother anyone.

Like I mentioned I live in a fairly small area, and for the past few months I've had this fear of leaving the house with my parents, especially my dad. I worry about running into girls I know with him, and it's likely because the town is so small. I have to worry about being in some awkward inescapable situation. He has a tendency to poorly piece together things and come to an indirect conclusion, and I worry he would do that if I run into any females I know. There's one who he knows I was in love with a few years ago, and if I run into her with him he'll try to piece something together from it. Running into other girls I know worries me because of what he'll say. He doesn't say much as I have told him to stop before, but he'll still make occasional comments. Like there's this attention seeking narcissistic girl I have ran into a couple times with him, he's convinced the girl loves me, and will still talk about her at times. No matter what there will be some kind of nuisance from him about these girls.

Does anyone know what can I do to get rid of these fears? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Fox_W_Mulder is offline  
Old 02-07-2015
 

I think you are over analyzing these situations that might not even occur.Your young and have your whole life ahead of you. Dating is suppose to be fun. Not make you into a basket case. Your going to need help getting over these fears.

First you should be truthful with close friends and family members. Your going to need all the support you can get. Look into seeing a counselor or therapist. Try looking in a different town nearby if you live in a small town. I hope that helps a little.
slimjim119 is offline  
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