Socializing is painful!

I want to be carefree and have fun with my friends, but I find that more often then not I just simply don't have the energy to do so. I constantly feel drained, even if I'm actually enjoying myself and am with people I feel comfortable with. It's so frusterating, I try so hard to have a normal social life but I feel like I can't keep up with everyone else. Like tonight is one of my closest friends birthdays, but I decided to blow it off because I just don't think I can handle being around so many people. Socializing is such a chore for me and I hate feeling this way!

Who else can relate?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It usually feels like I've just run a marathon every-time I get done trying to socialize.

Tell me about it, I'm 18, never gone to the movies (or anywhere for that matter) with friends. My brother (16), went out to the movies today with friends for the first time and he drove himself. I didn't even get a car till I was 18 (probably because I didn't want one).

At least you have a friend.

I'm sorry that you guys have to deal with feeling this way too. I mean I definitely don't consider myself introverted, because whenever I'm alone I'm miserable. But then, whenever I'm around other people for too long I'm miserable too. No matter what I'm doing I can never seem to feel completely content. ::

izzymarie said:

I'm sorry that you guys have to deal with feeling this way too. I mean I definitely don't consider myself introverted, because whenever I'm alone I'm miserable. But then, whenever I'm around other people for too long I'm miserable too. No matter what I'm doing I can never seem to feel completely content. ::

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Kinda the same here, except I don't know how or where I'd like to be with other people and yeah, whenever, by chance, I happen to be with others, the longer I am with them the more irritated I get and want to get away from them.

izzymarie said:

I'm sorry that you guys have to deal with feeling this way too. I mean I definitely don't consider myself introverted, because whenever I'm alone I'm miserable. But then, whenever I'm around other people for too long I'm miserable too. No matter what I'm doing I can never seem to feel completely content. ::

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Even after I know people really well and am comfortable with them, I'll still have times when I just can't be bothered to socialize.

I don't push myself to interact when I'm having a "recluse day." I just tell myself that I'm different, and sometimes me just keeping my own company is what I need to maintain balance.

Another thing is that, just because you feel miserable when you're alone doesn't mean you're not introverted, it probably just means that you are an intro but feel guilty over it.

Maybe, or I might just be completely wrong. That's been known to happen.

I hate being alone for any amount of time to be honest. I am much happier in the company of people.

If they are people I know really really REALLY well then I have loads of energy and enjoy the company. Unfortunately getting to that point with people is what I struggle with....before that im withdrawn, quiet, avoidant. So this means I spend lots of time alone, which I really hate.

I've always wanted a big family and I think its because then I'd never have to be alone again.

Needy, I know!!

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PennyLane said:

I've always wanted a big family and I think its because then I'd never have to be alone again.

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Aw Jeez, that's heartbreaking to read.

I hope you're able to have that big family some day.

PennyLane said:

I hate being alone for any amount of time to be honest. I am much happier in the company of people.

If they are people I know really really REALLY well then I have loads of energy and enjoy the company. Unfortunately getting to that point with people is what I struggle with....before that im withdrawn, quiet, avoidant. So this means I spend lots of time alone, which I really hate.

I've always wanted a big family and I think its because then I'd never have to be alone again.

Needy, I know!!

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I'm the same way! I always would like to be around the people i know best. But its so dam hard to get to know people that well. After 2 years in a new state, i have made quite a few friends that I can trust pretty well. Its nice to hang out for a night, but it sux when everyone leaves, and im stuck here with no one.

PunkRotten said:

Everyone with SA is insecure to some degreee, we care too much about what others think and say. So therefore, it drains us cause we put on a front so that others dont notice our insecurities.


If your insecurities go away, then you can be carefree like other people. Only way I know how to deal with insecurity is through acceptance.

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based on your postings that i've seen, you seem to understand yourself quite well. Has that helped?

PennyLane said:

based on your postings that i've seen, you seem to understand yourself quite well. Has that helped?

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Yes, I agree with PennyLane. It's as you have removed yourself from
the feelings and taken a overview look of yourself. I once was like that.
I also want to know.
Has it helped?

It gets tiring for me to initiate the expected gestures/polite phrases etc and small talk everyone expects during a day.

izzymarie could be the early signs of a kind of depression, so keep that in mind ok.

Pookah said:

It gets tiring for me to initiate the expected gestures/polite phrases etc and small talk everyone expects during a day.

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I hate that too. Person 1: "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" Me:*mumbles* uhhuhh...ok *wonders why the other person can't keep their mouth shut while the small talk continues*

well yesterday I went to go to the footy with a friend of mine and a bunch of others and in the old days I would have no issues, but yesterday it all fell apart.. I went to the venue but did not meet up with them as I got myself so worked up arhhhhh and in the end I got really depressed and walked home which took about 3 hours....this is the first time I have felt deep depression.

I felt like crying and I was as heavy as a a barrel of water and it sucked... I do not know why I was so worked up...I just want to be normal again... I was worried about so many things my face was red my mind was racing and I felt like a complete looser... and why ? for no reason but my mind feels like it's going crazy and everyone is watching me and can read my thoughts.. and they can not.. I just want some help..to resolve these issues ..

we are lucky we are alive but if you can not live what good is it.. I feel like I'm in a fish bowl looking out side watching the world go by and never being able to touch, smell and join in.. just a passer by in life....