Social phobic loosing friends

Surah

New member
Hello,

I've never used an online forum and I thought I could get some help.

I have social phobia and bipolar and exceptionally shy, I have, well had, 1 best friend who somewhat understood my conditions but it seems as though she's had enough of my ways and decided that she didn't want to be friends anymore. I don't have any other friends and my family come from a background that don't understand mental illness, especially in young adults, I'm 25. My family are starting to get really angry and annoyed with my mood swings and I try to tell them it's something I can't control even though I try soo hard. I can't make friends because of my social phobia, if I haven't had a panic attack and ran away, my mind goes completely blank and awkward silence is not the word for it. Even with my old friend and family I just go blank, you would think I was a stranger hanging about.

I need help, I've never had a lot of friends and as the years are going by I'm loosing everyone. I know it's my fault but I just don't know what to do, how do I overcome myself to make friends? I'm lost, alone and isolated from the real world. I hope someone can help me find answers, it just seems that all my conditions counteract one another and I'm stuck in this circle.

I don't have many interestes as most interests include being in a group of people, I feel like I'm some sort of weirdo, I don't feel normal and I definitely am not normal. I just need some advice please, I miss my best friend but she won't talk to me at all anymore.
 

surewhynot

Well-known member
I'm sure you'll find a lot of people on here that feel exactly the same way as you on various points. In the outside world it's always the loud people that stand out, but there are lots of introverts and the like out there as well, we're just way more quiet. One thing I always say is to try and find hobbies, there's a lot of things you can do on your own. Investing yourself in something is a great way to gain confidence and self esteem. I personally enjoy running, working out, reading, among a few. There are a lot of groups, both in real life and online, centered around areas of interest that can be great ways of meeting people. Sometimes online groups will even have meetups. Community activities, volunteer work, there are many ways to meet people without having to be socially active.

On top of all, being "normal" is overrated, not that there is objectively such a thing. Just try and be yourself, enjoy your life the best you can, and try to keep an optimistic mind. Hope this helps :)
 

Odo

Banned
Drifting apart from your old friends is something that usually happens when you're 25-- I went through the same thing, and my family wasn't so understanding either. It gets harder to make friends as you get older, too... but it's not impossible. I don't know how to be happy exactly, but yeah... you're not alone in all of this.

You might be able to find someone on here that you can talk to about things... it's not the same as having a real-life friend but it could help you sort things out or at the very least you get to vent about things that would annoy your 'normal' friends.
 

Surah

New member
Thank you for the replies =] I will take the advice, I have thought of online groups and activities but I never know where to start, I want to be more active and do things but when it comes down to it anxiety kicks in, or I'm going through a phase and I just can't handle it. I hate the negativity I know deep down I am an optimistic person, I want to be able to do the things I want to do, but it always holds me back.

I only got diagnosed with bi-polar type 2 9 months ago although my problems started at 11, I'm still on the waiting list for psychotherapy and CBT, every time I ring up they don't seem to have a clue, I've been back to the doctors numerous times and also have seen the psychiatrist doctor twice but nothing seems to get done, I'm lost, lonely and not sure how I've been coping this long but the moods are getting worse.

I try to keep positive though, I feel better once I talk to people, which is a bit ironic seen as though I can't talk to people, I miss my friend =[
 
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