Social fear

kihira

kihira

1
I've been flicking through a book about social anxiety by Anthony Gunn called 'Be Confident' and I like how he uses the term 'social fear'

He also groups social fear into four main types, which I found interesting. People can experience anxiety in any or all of the types. I guess some fears could cross over more than one type, too. Any thoughts on this are welcome:

Performance anxiety - public speaking; asking a question in a group; job interviews; having sex; playing sport; speaking in meetings; singing, dancing, acting in front of an audience

Relationship anxiety - going to parties; having conversations; making new friends; talking on the phone; dating; electronic social contact

Assertiveness anxiety - interacting with authority figures, such as questioning a doctor's diagnosis; confronting a neighbour; saying no; returning an item to a shop; asking for loaned money back from someone; making eye contact; coping with bullying; expressing a personal opinion

Observation anxiety - using a computer while someone watches over your shoulder; writing, eating or drinking in public; posting on a forum or sending an important email; going to the beach/gym/pool; shopping in a busy store; using a public toilet
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
Yes I can see for myself that one would naturally cross from Performance to Relationship anxiety. Not two of us are exactly the same we all have our own quirkiness and subtle differences.
 
lurknomore

lurknomore

1
I've never seen it broken down like that, but it makes a lot of sense. I have no observation anxiety, some performance anxiety (but I think that's pretty normal even in the general population), and a lot of relationship and assertiveness anxiety, I'm not sure which is greater. They probably overlap, because I would need to assert myself in order to meet people and start/keep up relationships.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
phocas said:
I've been flicking through a book about social anxiety by Anthony Gunn called 'Be Confident' and I like how he uses the term 'social fear'

He also groups social fear into four main types, which I found interesting. People can experience anxiety in any or all of the types. I guess some fears could cross over more than one type, too. Any thoughts on this are welcome:

Performance anxiety - public speaking; asking a question in a group; job interviews; having sex; playing sport; speaking in meetings; singing, dancing, acting in front of an audience

Relationship anxiety - going to parties; having conversations; making new friends; talking on the phone; dating; electronic social contact

Assertiveness anxiety - interacting with authority figures, such as questioning a doctor's diagnosis; confronting a neighbour; saying no; returning an item to a shop; asking for loaned money back from someone; making eye contact; coping with bullying; expressing a personal opinion

Observation anxiety - using a computer while someone watches over your shoulder; writing, eating or drinking in public; posting on a forum or sending an important email; going to the beach/gym/pool; shopping in a busy store; using a public toilet
Click to expand...

:question: Very interesting.............
 
Unspoken

Unspoken

Well-known member
The only one I don't have much of is assertiveness anxiety. If I'm not performing, I typically do well in in those listed situations and it's only getting better as I start getting over my nerves.

I think this is a good way to start looking at it, as it breaks it down for you into more manageable chunks. Anxiety seems like a huge, unconquerable beast some days.
 
Diend

Diend

Well-known member
Sometimes i have 3/4 but sometimes i have 1/4. i think it is severe when there are strangers and strange groups involved. Growing up, I never had my own "gang". When I was in middle school, I moved to a new town where the kids my age were already settled into their own cliques. My neighborhood "gang" consisted of kids 1-3 years younger than me. I was the oldest among them but was still considered just their "equal". I think it has made me feel intimidated by my peers. But perhaps it's simply because I have the social skills of kids who are 1-3 years younger than me and therefore, I naturally gravitated toward them. I was a late bloomer and still am. Getting better each day though but the road is quite rocky. God bless.

For those of you who have the last one...I mean, c'mon grow some cajones for goodness sake. I really wanna help, really. So I wonder if developing a sense of entitlement to public areas would help. You are "entitled" to these public areas. Get angry, get nasty. It's helped me. God bless.
 
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mikebird

mikebird

Banned
It's so valuable to see the four categories
and they can intertwine to compound further.

I thought of another separate category or more to add
and it's good to realise there aren't actually any other. This covers the lot

The fourth doesn't affect me at all. So pleased so, and probably to do with the environments where I've lived, and experience to gain

The third is where I am never passive. I speak out and don't let anything go with action towards authority, never being told what to do or not do. Although it can occasionally be to my detriment

Phones and strangers are impossible, while they hold my life in their hands to play with and judge me.

Performance is impossible. I deeply fear announcing anything at my Dad's funeral
 
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S

SmileMore

Well-known member
phocas said:
I've been flicking through a book about social anxiety by Anthony Gunn called 'Be Confident' and I like how he uses the term 'social fear'

He also groups social fear into four main types, which I found interesting. People can experience anxiety in any or all of the types. I guess some fears could cross over more than one type, too. Any thoughts on this are welcome:

Performance anxiety - public speaking; asking a question in a group; job interviews; having sex; playing sport; speaking in meetings; singing, dancing, acting in front of an audience

Relationship anxiety - going to parties; having conversations; making new friends; talking on the phone; dating; electronic social contact

Assertiveness anxiety - interacting with authority figures, such as questioning a doctor's diagnosis; confronting a neighbour; saying no; returning an item to a shop; asking for loaned money back from someone; making eye contact; coping with bullying; expressing a personal opinion

Observation anxiety - using a computer while someone watches over your shoulder; writing, eating or drinking in public; posting on a forum or sending an important email; going to the beach/gym/pool; shopping in a busy store; using a public toilet
Click to expand...

There are no four main types. I have all of those.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
For some odd reason I'm subscribed to this thread, but I never commented on it or manually subscribed... o_O Until now anyway.
 
irisse_simone

irisse_simone

Member
yeah, i have always taken my anxiety to mean that i'm afraid of something, i am. i'm still not sure what exactly it is thats scaring me to the point of panic, its such a tangled mess, and somehow obscured, but i think if i could discover what it is, it could be overcome with some force and endurance (like with a fear of spiders) or with abandon(like a fear of riding a roller coaster or skydiving) or i could find that whats scaring me is irrational and just seeing it for what it really is would make me shrug my shoulders and never worry about it again!
 
Quietguy11

Quietguy11

Well-known member
Wow, reading that only reminded me of how many social fears I have. I pretty much have social fear in all four categories. <_<
 
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