Old 1 Week Ago
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 4
Thanked 0 Times
anxi5 anxi5 is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 4
Thanked 0 Times
Hi everyone. Looking for a place to vent, get some reference points bc I canít always distinguish reality. I think Iíve been looking for answers from people who donít understand at all. So here I am.

Iím 20. Iím native and gay. I was first diagnosed with MDD and GAD a couple years ago. SSRIs, SSNRI, Wellbutrin. Etc no antidepressants helped. They all made me feel weird and sometimes worse. I moved recently somewhere thereís better healthcare. Did QB testing for diagnoses with mixed type ADHD, and social anxiety disorder. Took Adderall for a couple weeks, thought it was helping but I had a few very distressing days recently and got an emergency appt with psychiatrist. I told them some more details about the last couple years how ďdisconnectedĒ Iíve been feeling so they took me off Adderall and put me on abilify. I looked at my notes online and they put pyschosis, undiagnosed type in my diagnosis.

Now itís day 3 on abilify and I feel so weird. Extremely ****ing tired these last three days.

I have chronic pain and Iím in the process of scheduling surgery for untreated congenital muscular Torticollis. Iím in so much pain all the time that I have had delusions that Iím capable of doing my own surgery. Watching videos while Iím digging my nails into my neck. Thinking Iíll slice the muscle myself and go to the emergency room so theyíll have to finish it. All I have is NSAIDs. And weed. I spend almost any money I get (basically nothing because Iím jobless) on weed and get family to buy it for me.

Iím go to school in NYC but Ive been on medical leave for 2 years.

I donít do anything with my life. No work or school I just go to the doctor a lot. But I never feel satisfied leaving the doctors office I feel they donít understand how bad Iím feeling. I want to go to the ER at some point almost every day. I dissociate in public, I freeze up or shake with interpersonal situations.

Life sucks and I wish I didnít have to live it at all but I love my family too much to hurt them by leaving. And Iím scared itíll just start all over or a worse reality will start. And Iíll never escape. Iíll never escape in this lifetime and even if I try to die it might just backfire. And I never know whatís coming next. And this thought can paralyze me sometimes.

Ok I need to stop or Iíll keep distressing myself Iím going to watch vampire diaries with my little sister and not think about any of this...
anxi5 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 1 Week Ago
LoyalXenite's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NSW, Australia
Posts: 1,880
Thanked 135 Times
LoyalXenite LoyalXenite is online now
Elite User
LoyalXenite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NSW, Australia
Posts: 1,880
Thanked 135 Times
Welcome Anxi

Im sorry things are so crappy for you but I hope you find some solace here
__________________
Iíll Remember You Though,
I Remember Everyone Who Leaves
LoyalXenite is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 6 Days Ago
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 14
Thanked 0 Times
MichaelB MichaelB is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 14
Thanked 0 Times
You can feel free for sharing about you problems.
MichaelB is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Anyone with ADHD/ADD and now anxiety? jordii Social Anxiety Forum 3 04-15-2015 05:03 AM
ADHD medication and anxiety Clown Social Anxiety Forum 0 05-02-2012 06:43 PM
What are some "soft" meds for social anxiety, anxiety, psychosis, OCD Rexus Social Anxiety Medication 8 12-06-2009 04:06 PM

All times are GMT. The time now is 05:25 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
 
Contact Us Privacy