Simply can't be bothered?

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Fighter86

Well-known member
Sometimes when I think about it, I am not completely unhappy with my life. I mean yes, I can't go to school coz of SA. But really, I wouldn't mind self studying at home by corresponse.

I don't really have a social life but I don't think it actually bothers me as much as I think it does. I mean, I have no problems with juz staying at home to read & surf the net everyday. Being social is just too difficult. Yes, the rewards might be great, but I juz feel so weak to even make an attempt at it anymore.

I'm sick & tired of everything & juz want to be left alone, to keep to myself & shut the world out. I'm an easily hurt person. Even a small negative comment can keep me brooding for days. The way I figure it, if I don't have social contact, I won't have negative feedback & I won't be sad & unhappy... I think I simply san't be bothered anymore. Does all this sound crazy to u? Hmm, even I myself don't seem to really understand what I seem to be typing. Hope u guys understand what I'm trying to convey.
 
FaymeLevy

FaymeLevy

Well-known member
Doesn't seem crazy to me. I know what you mean. For the past 8 years, that's all I wanted. To be left alone. But after that long of being left alone, I want the social contact again. You can't have the good if you arent willing to risk the bad. I am an easily hurt person too, so that was a difficult decision to make.
 
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nighthawk

Well-known member
I can feel where you're coming from. I think this too sometimes. I love my comfort zone because it protects me from the constant self esteem bashing I get from being out in public.

But, for me, the dilemma is that I'm scared of change, but I'm just as scared by how things never change. That state of flux is my hell :?

PEACE
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
Well, glad to know that there r people who feel the same & I'm not going nuts or anything like that :D


nighthawk said:
But, for me, the dilemma is that I'm scared of change, but I'm just as scared by how things never change.

PEACE
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Same here. Most of the time, I think no change is ok. But when I'm out & I bump into ex-classmates & they are already nearing the completion of their tietiary education, or have that special someone, or is out clubbing, I feel cheated out of the life that I didn't have & might not have. But really, even without SA, I still might not have a boyfriend or go clubbing, but at least I would be able to get a proper education :?

Btw, do u guys suffer from insomia? Just wondering....
 
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nighthawk

Well-known member
I don't think I have insomnia, but I do sometimes lose a lot of sleep worrying about up coming social situations. however once I fall asleep I'll out for at least 6-7 hours.

I went thru a period when I used to force myself to stay up all night so I would sleep the day away. In the shorter daylight of winter, some days I didn't see the sun.

PEACE
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
I don't sleep well on most nights. I mange to fall asleep at 'bout 2 or 3 plus in the morning, but sleep for say 4 or 5 hours then I'm awake. I feel tired but can't sleep. Go figure :roll:
 
lonesomeboy

lonesomeboy

Well-known member
Fighter86 said:
Sometimes when I think about it, I am not completely unhappy with my life. I mean yes, I can't go to school coz of SA. But really, I wouldn't mind self studying at home by corresponse.

I don't really have a social life but I don't think it actually bothers me as much as I think it does. I mean, I have no problems with juz staying at home to read & surf the net everyday. Being social is just too difficult. Yes, the rewards might be great, but I juz feel so weak to even make an attempt at it anymore.

I'm sick & tired of everything & juz want to be left alone, to keep to myself & shut the world out. I'm an easily hurt person. Even a small negative comment can keep me brooding for days. The way I figure it, if I don't have social contact, I won't have negative feedback & I won't be sad & unhappy... I think I simply san't be bothered anymore. Does all this sound crazy to u? Hmm, even I myself don't seem to really understand what I seem to be typing. Hope u guys understand what I'm trying to convey.
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ye i know what its like. U feel comfortable and happy alone within your own boundaries. Thats understandable with out condition. But I think deep down everyone here craves for human interaction. I know I do.

I went to an after-work drinks get together tonight, initially I was anxious as hell and didnt talk to anyone. But after a few drinks and as I calmed down, began talking and chatting it was quite fun. Laughing, chatting to people is good for the soul. There is notthing that can replace the feeling of human interaction. No man/woman is an island.
 
Mofo

Mofo

Member
I'm quite content with life. I'm no longer depressed thanks to Effexor. I get the social contact I need from the few friends I have. I hardly get called in to work so I get to spend my time lounging about. I like living a simple life, no frantic running about. I used to have trouble sleeping but I take a pill for that too. Man I like being able to sleep and not worry about the alarm clock going off, or having to go to work on to little sleep. I guess I don't feel like I'm missing out on much. It would be nice to get laid though.
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
lonesomeboy said:
I went to an after-work drinks get together tonight, initially I was anxious as hell and didnt talk to anyone. But after a few drinks and as I calmed down, began talking and chatting it was quite fun. Laughing, chatting to people is good for the soul. There is notthing that can replace the feeling of human interaction. No man/woman is an island.
Click to expand...

Now that u mention it, I do remember the rare few times that things have gone well & I did enjoy myself. It was indeed an exhilirating feeling. Makes u feel alive...but I have not felt this way for a long long time
 
lonesomeboy

lonesomeboy

Well-known member
Fighter86 said:
lonesomeboy said:
I went to an after-work drinks get together tonight, initially I was anxious as hell and didnt talk to anyone. But after a few drinks and as I calmed down, began talking and chatting it was quite fun. Laughing, chatting to people is good for the soul. There is notthing that can replace the feeling of human interaction. No man/woman is an island.
Click to expand...

Now that u mention it, I do remember the rare few times that things have gone well & I did enjoy myself. It was indeed an exhilirating feeling. Makes u feel alive...but I have not felt this way for a long long time
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have u been out with people ?
 
Y

young

Well-known member
Fighter86 said:
lonesomeboy said:
I went to an after-work drinks get together tonight, initially I was anxious as hell and didnt talk to anyone. But after a few drinks and as I calmed down, began talking and chatting it was quite fun. Laughing, chatting to people is good for the soul. There is notthing that can replace the feeling of human interaction. No man/woman is an island.
Click to expand...

Now that u mention it, I do remember the rare few times that things have gone well & I did enjoy myself. It was indeed an exhilirating feeling. Makes u feel alive...but I have not felt this way for a long long time
Click to expand...

so it can be done for you. If you've done it once before. You can do it again.
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
lonesomeboy said:
Fighter86 said:
lonesomeboy said:
I went to an after-work drinks get together tonight, initially I was anxious as hell and didnt talk to anyone. But after a few drinks and as I calmed down, began talking and chatting it was quite fun. Laughing, chatting to people is good for the soul. There is notthing that can replace the feeling of human interaction. No man/woman is an island.
Click to expand...

Now that u mention it, I do remember the rare few times that things have gone well & I did enjoy myself. It was indeed an exhilirating feeling. Makes u feel alive...but I have not felt this way for a long long time
Click to expand...

have u been out with people ?
Click to expand...

In the past, a couple of years back, but they were not close buddies or anything. I usually spend most of my time alone now.
 
I

IcanDoIt

Well-known member
wuuoo..

lol, i had adverse effect actually, when i thought i just could not be bothered about anything no more.

i was suicidal, i thought nothing i did was right. i was sick and tired of overcoming it, which i could not.

then there was a day when i told myself enough was enough, i did not care about anything.

i just went out the room and and with heaps of anxiety, i just walked past a group of gossiping relatives in teh living room, and it was a success as i could not do that before..heh..

anyway, it did not cure my anxiety.. :)
 
F

Fighter86

Well-known member
worrydoll said:
mmm yeah i feel that way too. sometimes i think i dont need people and i cant be bothered..
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I think that it would really be nice to have people around to help, encourage & support me. But everyone seems to be so mean to me. I'm the one that nobody cares or want to care about. When I'm nice to people, they are indifferent to me nor do they seem to reciprocate :( Maybe that's why I have this 'wat the heck, I just want to be left alone' attutude coz even if I be bothered & try, people arn't going to me nicer to me anyway. They all treat me like S**t.


worrydoll said:
i seem to never be happy...im lonely..then i want to hide...then im depressed...lol i dont know
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The very emotions that I go through, but not nessasarily in the same order though.
 
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