*sigh*

NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Yeah, I know I said I was leaving, but I need some assistance with this one girl (which I've posted about before). Anyway, to recap: She told me she liked me, flirted with me (I believe) for a few weeks, and I was too shy to reciprocate so time went by and she eventually got married. She is now divorced. BUT, she has a boyfriend already!

Is it safe to say she never thought I was interested back, b/c of my shy behavior? Well, I want to let her know that I am available, I don't want to do anything to cross any moral boundaries, but just to let her know I would definitely be interested if she were to get out of her present relationship? How do I go about doing this?

Also, would her interest be dead after all this time? (about a year has passed). It's just, she is this really nice and sweet girl (and she is pretty attractive too), and I don't want her to slip away completely. If she gets married again I am screwed lol!

If someone has any advice, that would be great.
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
If your anxiety was THAT bad, then yes, she didn't know then and she doesn't know now. I am shy myself BUT if i know someone is interested and i see the signs; flirting, smiling, initiating conversation, etc. i will go for it.

But for you if that wasn't possible bcuz of your shyness then chances are the poor girl thought you didn't like her!!!!!!!!!!


I have a similar situation in that he is painfully shy and full of anxiety around me (only) but i am not giving up..i just posted yesterday about him again, i am baking cookies for him and giving him a card so he knows how i feel.

So, yes do something before its really to late. Do you have a mutual friend who can talk to her to let her know???

If you feel this strongly about it a year later (and she may still as well) especially if she divorced so quickly bcuz she married the wrong man..have you thought about that??? Maybe she made a mistake as well and wishes she could do it all over again???

Shyness on one persons part apparently can screw up ones destiny IF the other person doesn't become strong enough to right the wrong.

Please keep me posted, i think this is very interesting by the way. :D
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
TooShyShy said:
If your anxiety was THAT bad, then yes, she didn't know then and she doesn't know now. I am shy myself BUT if i know someone is interested and i see the signs; flirting, smiling, initiating conversation, etc. i will go for it.

But for you if that wasn't possible bcuz of your shyness then chances are the poor girl thought you didn't like her!!!!!!!!!!


I have a similar situation in that he is painfully shy and full of anxiety around me (only) but i am not giving up..i just posted yesterday about him again, i am baking cookies for him and giving him a card so he knows how i feel.

So, yes do something before its really to late. Do you have a mutual friend who can talk to her to let her know???

If you feel this strongly about it a year later (and she may still as well) especially if she divorced so quickly bcuz she married the wrong man..have you thought about that??? Maybe she made a mistake as well and wishes she could do it all over again???

Shyness on one persons part apparently can screw up ones destiny IF the other person doesn't become strong enough to right the wrong.

Please keep me posted, i think this is very interesting by the way. :D
Click to expand...


Hey, thanks for the response TooShyShy! And, we don't have a mutual friend really. So that option is a no-go. Oh, I think I also forgot to mention she is a co-worker.

And yes, my anxiety is so absolutely terrible most people I don't know must think I'm retarded! :oops:
I'm thinking she doesn't know I like her, at all! But, I'm more than a little scared cuz I have no experience in dating cuz of SA and I don't want her to think I am weird! Well, prolly to late for that! :lol:

I posted this on another forum, and got "move on" responses this still gives me hope (just a little, mind you).

Anyway, srry to hear about your situation with a shyguy. IMO being direct is the best option.
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Hmmmm then you may have try to get an email address, i just don't know from whom since you don't have mutual friends..maybe a coworker has it???

How about trying to write her a letter? I know someone who did that and they ended up exchanging emails and phone numbers and dated for a year after that. So...do you think you could write her a letter???


And thank you for your advice...i know he likes me, he just needs to build up his confidence and lack of experience with women is also a hurdle he is facing.. From what i have heard he has never had a girlfriend..and doesn't really date. I just hope if i show him how i feel and go for it in bigger way, he will let me get close to him :p

Do you think a sappy (kinda) card that says all the things i can't is a good way to go???? The cookies i do for staff every year - we work together as well - but i have never done them for him before.
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Just asking for her email address would be kinda weird, without some sort of plausible excuse for it. A letter? well, I work with her, so if she thought it was stupid she would just tell everybody. Srry if I'm shooting down your ideas, but, this is a co-worker after all.

Yeah the card would prolly work if it said "I want to date you!" or something. Direct is the best way, well for me, as I said.
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Have you come up with any new ideas???

And you can ask for an email address of someone you work with, many people do...also, the card (not letter) idea does work as well especially around the holidays. I just gave my shy guy a card with some cookies and it worked out really well :D he liked it alot apparently and basically stalked me the rest of the day...lol!!!!!

It definitly gave him a bounce in his step!!!!!!!!
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
You should call her on the phone or talk to her on myspace or email her or whatever...and make nice and be friendly. If she knows you're available and she breaks up with the other guy, this will put you in the front of the line.
 
tiffstar

tiffstar

Member
Maybe you should get her phone number and message her casually if she would like to have coffee

But I definitely think an email is much better.
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Well, I had to go to work to pick up my check today, as I was walking in I saw her and her (I assume) bf walking out. I was just going to walk past and not say anything, b/c of her bf there. But she went out of her way to say "merry christmas" to me. All I could manage was a low "you too." I was trying to forget about this problem on the holidays, I'll put it outta my head for the next two days, for the most part. But I'll still try and think of things to say to her. I have a limited time to get things started (1 month she goes to a diff shift).
 
NightTimeForever

NightTimeForever

Well-known member
Well, I just learned she only has a week on my shift b4 going back to days (i won't be leaving that shift until the end of the month, when management switches over, hopefully it won't be longer). By the time I get my position (one just opened up) she'll probably be happily settled in that relationship. Anyone got any tips? Maybe I should just give up?
 
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