Sick and tired

I'm so sick and tired of 'existing' through life like i am. Why am i depressed when i have no real reason to be?...I know people who have lost loved ones and they are more positive than i am yet i have no good reason to be depressed. At the moment i am going through the days feeling as if i am neither awake nor asleep, i feel as if i am in a dream and i can't focus on anything. People talk to me and they feel as if they are mile away from me and i can't connect with them. I just don't know why i bother existing the way i do.

I also don't have a word to say to anyone, i say hello to my workmates and stuff but then i haven't a word to say. It's horrible because i can sense that people feel awkward in my company.

You have a valid reason for being depressed, because you have social anxiety. You're just stacking more unnecessary negative energy on yourself by blaming yourself for being depressed, even when you know you have every right to be. I would just accept your current situation. Come back to reality and admit to yourself that you are social phobic.
And that is the only real reason that you have "nothing to say".

But what I suggest when you're at work, is just to start small... like tiny.
Say hi to people. And end it there. Just get comfortable with saying hello and try to feel good about it.

For example, when you say hello to someone dont think to yourself 'hello is the only thing i have to say, i hate that i have nothing more to say'
instead say to yourself 'i said hello and that is better than saying nothing at all. maybe if i can get comfortable with saying hello i can move it up one tiny step next time by saying 'how's your day going?' '
and so on and so forth. but take it as slow as possible, like stay in your comfort zone at all times, no matter how long it takes.

This is what im working on right now. You need any kind of reaction or acknowledgment from people to remember that you still exist.

The way I expereienced depression was that it was a constant cycle of negative thoughts way after (talking on the scale of years) the original events that caused it occured. It was extremely difficult to break from the cycle, my psychologist explained that I had to process the memories that stuck in my head and therefore she performed a simple technique that aids in this (sorry I don't remember what it was called, but basically involves waving a finger in front of your eyes while you recall negative events).

After it's done, it feels like that negative memory is no longer 'there', fuzzy,very distant and evenutally it fades. The point I'm trying to make here is, even if you know you have no reason to be depressed, other people have far greater problems etc... It's a combination of your own negative thinking and your memories that are continuing the depression long, long after what caused it has stopped.