Bo592
Well-known member
will I move again I move to a place out of town. I got apartment that I am still not sure I like. form the very beinning I knew I did not want to live in this place. The rent is higher and the apartment is smaller and darker then my old apartment. I am worried I am burning to much electricity running up the bill because my apartment is so dark. I live out in the middle of nowhere where their No near by stores or atms and no delivery and No Bus stops. And I have no car. The mail don`t work very well eather it a po box thing that I am not very youst to it so everytime I want to get my mail I practically have to make a federal case out of getting my mail. the postal worker keep closing up my po box so I can`t get my mail. which I find upsetting.
O.k so why did I agreed to take this place ? will it my sister her and her new boyfriend bought a new house around their and she was worried no one would be able to watch her kids will she and her boyfriend goes to work. But here the crazy thing I am not very good with kids I can`t make them mind me. I figured I would be able to figure out somthing that would be able to help me. So far it been No good the kids just come right in and then goes right to the refrigerator and start eating all of my food ("I am on disability so I don`t have much money and no car in the middle of nowhere")
So I do my best to stop them I tell them "No it not snack time yet we have to wait intell snack time" So hear I am with two kids who are acting like they don`t get fed at home. I am standing in front of the refrigerator with my arm up like a basketball player pelding with them to stop eating all my food. I do fed them but they got a habit of grabing one thing and taking one bit and then throwing it away. yes I know it embarrassing and I do feel ashamed about it. What I hate about it so much is I am a guy a guy who can`t get kids under control. I also have no control of them when they are fighting and name calling and hurting each other feelings. The trouble I have with them is finding the right consequences to give them when they misbehave. I have no idea what to do. Do I yell at them do I spank them, anyways My words have no consequences for them.
The new landlord don`t like me very will eather. When I was looking at the home and signing lease. My sister came and help me talk to him. But he was not happy about that and she keep telling him she want me to move out here so I will help her watch the kids. while all this was going on the kids who was with us was misbehaving and she was bussy talking to him for me. And I was the one in charge of keeping the kids under control. The kids was running around and I was trying to com them down. He acted nice to me before I sign the lease then after I sign the lease and give him the deposit. then he yelled at me saying I better get my act together if I want to live out hear. After that I felt real nervous about the choice I just made and it was already to late to change my mind I am stick for a whole year now in a place I am not very happy to be in. I am wondering how safe I am out hear I don`t feel very safe out hear I miss living in town where everything is near by and you could survive without a car. Before I had a nice home where I could make it on my own and get to the store and rely on myself to get by. Now being wayout in the middle of nowhere cab cost alot. My best option is if I get a ride with my sister into town. But because I am so lousy with the kids I would`ent be surprize if I lost that opportunity went away.
Anther thing that make me nervous about living out here is my oldest nephew went to school and someone made a racist remark to him and that got me wondering how everyone might act around mentally ill men like me. I am trying my best to be normal and not me so I can aviod them noticing me not acting right. Out here in nowhere who knows what they are going to do to somebody like me.
O.k so why did I agreed to take this place ? will it my sister her and her new boyfriend bought a new house around their and she was worried no one would be able to watch her kids will she and her boyfriend goes to work. But here the crazy thing I am not very good with kids I can`t make them mind me. I figured I would be able to figure out somthing that would be able to help me. So far it been No good the kids just come right in and then goes right to the refrigerator and start eating all of my food ("I am on disability so I don`t have much money and no car in the middle of nowhere")
So I do my best to stop them I tell them "No it not snack time yet we have to wait intell snack time" So hear I am with two kids who are acting like they don`t get fed at home. I am standing in front of the refrigerator with my arm up like a basketball player pelding with them to stop eating all my food. I do fed them but they got a habit of grabing one thing and taking one bit and then throwing it away. yes I know it embarrassing and I do feel ashamed about it. What I hate about it so much is I am a guy a guy who can`t get kids under control. I also have no control of them when they are fighting and name calling and hurting each other feelings. The trouble I have with them is finding the right consequences to give them when they misbehave. I have no idea what to do. Do I yell at them do I spank them, anyways My words have no consequences for them.
The new landlord don`t like me very will eather. When I was looking at the home and signing lease. My sister came and help me talk to him. But he was not happy about that and she keep telling him she want me to move out here so I will help her watch the kids. while all this was going on the kids who was with us was misbehaving and she was bussy talking to him for me. And I was the one in charge of keeping the kids under control. The kids was running around and I was trying to com them down. He acted nice to me before I sign the lease then after I sign the lease and give him the deposit. then he yelled at me saying I better get my act together if I want to live out hear. After that I felt real nervous about the choice I just made and it was already to late to change my mind I am stick for a whole year now in a place I am not very happy to be in. I am wondering how safe I am out hear I don`t feel very safe out hear I miss living in town where everything is near by and you could survive without a car. Before I had a nice home where I could make it on my own and get to the store and rely on myself to get by. Now being wayout in the middle of nowhere cab cost alot. My best option is if I get a ride with my sister into town. But because I am so lousy with the kids I would`ent be surprize if I lost that opportunity went away.
Anther thing that make me nervous about living out here is my oldest nephew went to school and someone made a racist remark to him and that got me wondering how everyone might act around mentally ill men like me. I am trying my best to be normal and not me so I can aviod them noticing me not acting right. Out here in nowhere who knows what they are going to do to somebody like me.