selfishness and not caring for others

Ahmed · Dec 11, 2005

I feel that most time i am so selfish, i dont care about other people. i dont have any sympathy for them, even though i want to, but i am just not able to.

like if a friend of mine is sick, i should tell him, "hope u feel better" or some s**t like that, actually, i say it, but i never feel it. sound familiar?

my feelings are really cold, i cant express myself. i hate this in me.

silverwolf · Dec 11, 2005

i don't feel sympathy I wouldn't care about hitting someone in my car and leaving them for dead. I guess people have screwed me over and I don't care anymore they seem to all be the same- brainless idiots that lead happy lives.

Remus · Dec 11, 2005

I'm not like that atall, tend to feel others pain like its my own, leads to trouble though as you can take to much onto yourself, then it leads me to episodes of reclusing, maybe its safer your way but I doubt I have it in me

Oddball · Dec 11, 2005

Ahmed said:
I feel that most time i am so selfish, i dont care about other people. i dont have any sympathy for them, even though i want to, but i am just not able to.

like if a friend of mine is sick, i should tell him, "hope u feel better" or some s**t like that, actually, i say it, but i never feel it. sound familiar?

my feelings are really cold, i cant express myself. i hate this in me.

I know what you mean, I get thoughts like this somtimes when I get really depressed, but when I'm in a good mood I can relate to others so much better, it's all part of being depressed, just the fact that you feel bad for having these thoughts shows you have alot of heart.

itchy · Dec 12, 2005

Yea man, I feel exactly the same. It’s like, when I ask people how they are, I only say it because I feel like I’m supposed to or something. Most times I really don’t care how the person is. Or like, the other day a relative of mine died, and at the funeral everybody was crying, but I just felt numb. In all honesty I really didn’t care that this person had died…which sounds so heartless and I hate this about myself…but I never really knew this person.
But I think I can change. I’m not exactly sure how yet, but I’d imagine it’d involve trying to be less selfish and to try focusing on others and their needs. Plus I don’t think you need to be an expert counsellor to help others. Just having ears to listen with is often enough.

Ahmed · Dec 12, 2005

itchy said:
Yea man, I feel exactly the same. It’s like, when I ask people how they are, I only say it because I feel like I’m supposed to or something. Most times I really don’t care how the person is. Or like, the other day a relative of mine died, and at the funeral everybody was crying, but I just felt numb. In all honesty I really didn’t care that this person had died…which sounds so heartless and I hate this about myself…but I never really knew this person.
But I think I can change. I’m not exactly sure how yet, but I’d imagine it’d involve trying to be less selfish and to try focusing on others and their needs. Plus I don’t think you need to be an expert counsellor to help others. Just having ears to listen with is often enough.

Thanks for sharing ur feelings. Im so hapy that this stuff aint in me only, not that i want people to be like me. I just hate being lonely.

LittleMissScareAll · Dec 13, 2005

I usually dont have sympathy for other people either...of course it depends on who it is, the situation, and my mood, though. I'm not completely heartless...not yet anyway.
But if it were somebody I hated and they were dying or had some horrible disease or something...I wouldn't care at all. In fact I'd probably be thinking "Finally, they get what they deserve!"... but if it were somebody I liked/loved or somebody who seemed innocent, in the same situation... I'd feel horribly sad about the situation. So it just depends, really.

And as for just everyday things...I usually dont care about other peoples' feelings. Again it depends on who it is, etc...but I find I'm not interested in most people's problems and I just don't really care. I figure, they dont seem to care about me...so why should I care about them? :evil:

young · Dec 13, 2005

silverwolf said:
i don't feel sympathy I wouldn't care about hitting someone in my car and leaving them for dead. I guess people have screwed me over and I don't care anymore they seem to all be the same- brainless idiots that lead happy lives.

umm... don't go driving anywhere near me...

jamez · Dec 13, 2005

Man...I'm weird. My mood changes, there's times I couldn't give shit about anyone else, I'm gonna walk over everyone. Other times, I feel like I want help everyone, help the less fortunate, help the old lady cross the street.

Ayla · Dec 13, 2005

Remus said:
I'm not like that atall, tend to feel others pain like its my own

me too, Remus. It's like, a hyper-sympathy problem. It's good to feel for others, but it's really stressfull.

4myself · Dec 19, 2005

You know what?, I think that most people dont really care to much about others, we just live in a world where we are susposed to care so most people just pretend. I wouldnt feel too bad if I were you.

allanboy · Dec 19, 2005

I thought just like you. I never felt anything for anyone, i pretended to care when someone was sick or bad, felt away from other people´s feelings, and that really ticked me off since, i didnt want to be like that! How was i supposed to have friends and social life with that way of thought?

Now, i still think like this, but, i just accepted. It´s the way i am, and really, there nothing bad about it. Heh, and that helped me care a little bit more for everybody else around me, tell me about "spin off".
Yeah, i guess thats all part of the schizoid/schiztypal disorder. And i couldnt be happier

black_mamba · Dec 19, 2005

jamez said:
Man...I'm weird. My mood changes, there's times I couldn't give shit about anyone else, I'm gonna walk over everyone. Other times, I feel like I want help everyone, help the less fortunate, help the old lady cross the street.

Yeah, whats with that! I've been called the most selfish bitch on the planet at times, but then people who are close to me say I'm the most caring person they know! Its so mixed up, and I also indentify with this numbness regarding other people's misfortunes. 9/11 - so what? Tsunami - shit happens. New Orleans disaster - I can't even begin to imagine whats happening, so how could I possibly care?

I think all these mental worries we have, depression, anxiety etc all add to our numbness, plus on top of that we're not as well equiped to express ourselves sincerely. My only friend at uni (male) recently was 'dumped' and he started crying in front of me. I felt so bad because I couln't say anything constructive. Did I not care or could I just not express myself? I don't know. [What did he expect, dating an exchange student!?] :O

LittleMissScareAll said:
But if it were somebody I hated and they were dying or had some horrible disease or something...I wouldn't care at all. In fact I'd probably be thinking "Finally, they get what they deserve!"... but if it were somebody I liked/loved or somebody who seemed innocent, in the same situation... I'd feel horribly sad about the situation. So it just depends, really.

I worry myself sick about my sisters wellbeing, but don't care about people I hate too. In fact I'd love to run them over with a combine harvester, nice and slow. :lol:

Ok now I've confused myself, hypersensitivity + numbness. Bizarre.

Waybuloo · Mar 7, 2006

Most people are innately selfish. People cry at a funeral because THEY lost somebody and feel their own pain. Maybe its this culture of materialism and self interest that puts our own needs as priority.

I am mostly selfish. I rarely empathise with what others feel when they tell me their worries or when i see disasters and what not. The closest i felt was probably guilt for not feeling sympathy.

Strangly i feel for the underdogs though. If i see a person getting harassed or unfairly treated it makes my blood boil. I felt really angry for the iraqi soldiers, i felt 9/11 was justified and even relish at the damage it caused, who cares about the well off americans who died in the towers. (yea call me evil) 8)

Nie · Mar 7, 2006

Maybe I am empathic and I frequently feel I can't subsist in society because everything bruises me deeply..
I guess I am neither selfish nor assertive.
I actually feel I don't exist.

Septor · Mar 7, 2006

Well for me it depend.I feel a lot of empathy for people that are around me.Its like I can feel there pain.I always treat people as I would want to be treated.Thats why im always trying to help people.

On the other hand stuff that happens far away like natural disaster or other man made disaster that are far away from me does not seem to bother me.Like its happen in a different world or something.I never understand that.

Chihiro said:
Strangly i feel for the underdogs though. If i see a person getting harassed or unfairly treated it makes my blood boil. I felt really angry for the iraqi soldiers, i felt 9/11 was justified and even relish at the damage it caused, who cares about the well off americans who died in the towers. (yea call me evil) 8)

Evil

Reholla · Mar 7, 2006

Septor said:
Well for me it depend.I feel a lot of empathy for people that are around me.Its like I can feel there pain.I always treat people as I would want to be treated.Thats why im always trying to help people.

On the other hand stuff that happens far away like natural disaster or other man made disaster that are far away from me does not seem to bother me.Like its happen in a different world or something.I never understand that.

Chihiro said:

Strangly i feel for the underdogs though. If i see a person getting harassed or unfairly treated it makes my blood boil. I felt really angry for the iraqi soldiers, i felt 9/11 was justified and even relish at the damage it caused, who cares about the well off americans who died in the towers. (yea call me evil) 8)

Click to expand...

Evil

I agree w/ the above statement (^^^) .. when things happen like in the news I just cant relate at all. Im thinking to myself "so what" deep down i think that its probably cause Id rather get in that really bad motorcycle accident in the newspaper, than have anxiety

.. But I also treat people like I would want to be treated, and if everyone did this the world would be a lot better place!! too bad thats prob not gonna happen. Life's not gonna be fair and we shouldnt expect it to be. But

jss · Mar 8, 2006

silverwolf said:
i don't feel sympathy I wouldn't care about hitting someone in my car and leaving them for dead. I guess people have screwed me over and I don't care anymore they seem to all be the same- brainless idiots that lead happy lives.

nice talking, silverwolf :lol:

actually I was feeling so selfish and was blaming my self all the time on the first years of my social phobia suffering.

then about 2 years go all of that reversed, I stopped blaming my self anymore, instead I was blaming this fucken world

and became just like you, that I didn't care if all people died.
actually I saw it, many of non social phobia sufferers all over the world are killing each other every day, so why do I care if they don't.

however after much thinking I started balancing between it.
because if you blamed youself all the time you are just overloading your self and giving your kindness and valuable feeling for people who don't worth, and in other side if you blamed all people you are oppressing some people who are so kind and worth your kindness and kind feelings.

if we blamed all people and became cruel to all people, then I expect we (sp people) will blame and hurt each other if we got met someday.

so in my thoughts we should save and keep kindness for people who worth it

jauggy · Mar 9, 2006

Chihiro said:
Strangly i feel for the underdogs though. If i see a person getting harassed or unfairly treated it makes my blood boil. I felt really angry for the iraqi soldiers, i felt 9/11 was justified and even relish at the damage it caused, who cares about the well off americans who died in the towers. (yea call me evil) 8)

Really that's interesting 8O . If you don't mind me asking, what generation (i.e. 1st, 2nd...6th, etc) Australian are you?

Waybuloo · Mar 9, 2006

jauggy said:
Chihiro said:

Strangly i feel for the underdogs though. If i see a person getting harassed or unfairly treated it makes my blood boil. I felt really angry for the iraqi soldiers, i felt 9/11 was justified and even relish at the damage it caused, who cares about the well off americans who died in the towers. (yea call me evil) 8)

Click to expand...

Really that's interesting 8O . If you don't mind me asking, what generation (i.e. 1st, 2nd...6th, etc) Australian are you?

I'm 1st generation i think*

I was born o'seas

Do u hold that accountable for my views or just curious?

selfishness and not caring for others

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