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  1. grapevine

    Post a picture of your pet!

    Charlie doesnt like me to draw and he likes to steal my erasers lol
  2. grapevine

    Pets Are Therapeutic

    Thoughtout the 2020 COVID lockdowns and fears i started to get panic attacks and i was dealing with rugs in pyschosis too and it was all too much for me. So i decided i needed a companion and i searched for ages and got lucky and found a puppy and never looked back. He has been a highlight in...
  3. grapevine

    Fear of age, time speeding up

    I find this topic so difficult for myself. It can be a cause for distress and depression for me when i think about it as im approaching middle age and so on. I think its so important to be mindful and to almost sort of give up on ideals in stages or ages of your life. For what has been that is...
  4. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    A day after the aftermath of having my sister over and her children for 3 days of Easter weekend. I know that sounds bad, the kids are not that bad well one of them, the other one he issues, he needs constant attention has issues with being able to care about others. But my sister on the other...
  5. grapevine

    I am so depressed

    Your not alone, i can relate
  6. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Havent been on in awhile. Some things that have been stressfull recently have been ( because I cant be bothered getting into it all right now - no energy) - Since my car blew up in january this year, ive havent been able to go out except for grocery shopping and taking mum and dad everywhere...
  7. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Thankyou for your reply. It means the world because its so hard to get a good perspective on this. To get some understanding is so hard for me lately. My therapist is good but theres that emotional lack relating to the codependence with rugs i have on and off. So i have some things in my life...
  8. grapevine

    I am so depressed

    Hi Miserum Its a tangled web with identity and social phobia. Ive found that if i can work on my self-esteem and independence and get to know my true identity, sort of indulge in finding out who i am, what i stand for - my values and seeing myself from a place of self love. If i can try to...
  9. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I felt okay the last few days in myself and my own physical state despite what was going on around me with rugs. As much as i try to get away from it he turns up again. What do you do when a person tries to commit suicide and wants you in their life but ruins your own. Id been in control with...
  10. grapevine

    Tired of being ignored for the extroverted

    Yes its the same with my family too, to some extent. esp when i feel more insecure and jealous around cousins that seem to have everything and have been given everything. And to feel so little like you cant even compete with any of that and get ignored and wierd expressions on you despite you...
  11. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    So that next morning, i write how are you etc. He sends a message back that he is just going for a drive with his sister. Thats all he writes. Then later in the day, i write again, how are feeling today. He sends a message to me and just says, im just resting. And that is it. I dont hear from...
  12. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    How quickly things change but still bad. Well, highly stressed. So rugs had been hostile many days before, and didnt want to know me anymore. Which was to me, okay well i can restart this grieving process then. Very hard, but i was doing it and i had practice in all the times he had gone on...
  13. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Okay BAD DAY. i was driving along the main road of the town i live in to drop my dad off at his bowls and i see this man walking on the side of the road with no top on. This is a road not meant for people to walk on, where 100 km/hr speed is. I think what a weird guy for walking there with his...
  14. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Today he actually rang me. After that horrible explosion of him out of the blue on the phone at me out of nothing. It was the first time he was really that angry towards me. He broke up with me , not that we were going out in my mind anyways. It wasnt nice, it was him very ill abusive on a...
  15. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I know ive vented myself off here lol. But thankyou means alot.
  16. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Anyways, few days ago i were on messenger and i had said (because my car doesn't work atm) that we could go out for a few hours. We got messaging and i started talking about tom cruise film on the tv at the time, he was quite young and realized he looked different because of his teeth. Anyways...
  17. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Havent been on in a while. Thanks Miserum for your generous input. I took that in and emotionally left Rugs to himself, which i had been doing but i decided to close off those little bits in me that still accepted him, mainly because everything in me emotionally had been so tightened anyway...
  18. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Im getting a bit better lately. Taken a long time to really push my boundaries. Boundaries can not just be about you and other people but also about the things you do and have in your life and choosing what to have and do. I worked out over some time now that i feel I ultimately have Avoidance...
  19. grapevine

    Really yearning for a baby but

    Thankyou for the reply. I got a 8 week old puppy yesterday that has bonded with me and given me the chance to have that furbaby motherhood experience and create a more mindful daily life. Trying to help eject the anxiety i feel and fomo. : )
  20. grapevine

    Really yearning for a baby but

    I have severe anxiety, social phobia and social avoidance personality, live with my parents still, not near enough money, am on a disability pension for SP, and no promising male provider to help me. I also am still in a relationship with a severely ill schizophrenic man that has been on hard...
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