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  1. Diend

    Going to's meetup experience

    I dislike meetups where the purpose is unclear so I chose Chinese language practice meetup. I approached the group at a public area and realized that while talking, I was slightly shaking uncontrollably. I didn't have the urge to escape and the inability to look at people. But my face became hot...
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    What have you learned all these years?

    1. we all have social needs. being a loner is not natural. (for some) 2. do not look at people and think they are better than you. 3. do not judge people based on physical appearance. 4. it is normal to not jive with everyone at a party or enjoy parties at all. 5. people who don't accept you for...
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    Getting Over a Lonely Life

    Growing up, I was extremely jealous of people who had friends, and I had always wished to have a group of friends, and be invited to parties, and hang out after school. My wish came true in college. This was what I had been waiting for my whole life....and it didn't exactly meet my expectations...
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    Do you think you're too sensitive?

    Does being easily irritated, overwhelmed contribute to your anxiety? Would you like it if less things bothered you or if things didn't have such an emotional impact on you. it would benefit me if I didn't analyze too much or feel horrible about things or get easily embarassed. I think we praise...
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    Blaming the Folks

    I like to think that my parents are to blame for my anxiety. I want to think that I can change the way my parents behave, but I'm beginning to realize that these old fogies can't be changed. my mom always complains to me about my dad's childish, moody behavior. but I've begun to be brave enough...
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    Therapist Experiences

    It has been six sessions since I've spoken to my counselor. the service is free as my college provides it. i have been scared many times by expensive charges for therapy that It is difficult for me to swallow these charges. in terms of what I learned from this experience, it takes me six...
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    caffeine as an antidepressant

    i was lethargic and hopeless about the future until i took caffeine. i was a caffeine junkie two years ago. maybe i'm hooked for life?
  8. Diend

    How have you grown?

    Coming full circle to approaching my birthday, the biggest thing i learned last year was to treat women as people. I learned the detriments of rape, and saw through my friend that a woman was someone to talk to and not simply for sex. i understood the idea that women who dress sexy are not...
  9. Diend

    what would be your ideal social life?

    in high school i wanted to be super popular. that didn't work out at all. i realized now at 21 that what makes me thrive are close relationships with a few people. when i have these needs met, i can feel confident in society, and among strangers. i am not satisfied by the prospect of multiple...
  10. Diend

    buddhism can lead to suicide

    buddhism is the idea that everything is ephemeral. You are insignificant. The goal is to not be emotionally attached and stay in equilibrium. when i hear that i stopped caring. the more i stopped caring about things, the more i stopped wanting to live. the idea of wanting to be sexy, rich and...
  11. Diend

    SA sufferers may lack empathy

    What I noticed about myself when I had SA was that I thought everyone else had their life together. It wasn't until I made a best friend that I realized that everyone has insecurities. I also had a solipsistic view of the world. I thought my parents were just robots built to serve my needs. I...
  12. Diend

    my plan to leave my room

    i want to be transparent about why i do the things i do. social anxiety means i prefer to live within the safe confines of my room and behind a glowing screen. it has only made the anxiety worse. my goal is to try to have as little alone time as possible. sounds extreme, eh? fine, but i have to...
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    Do you know what it feels to be loved?

    How can I be shown love if it wasn't shown to me as a child? My parents paid attention to me, paid the bills and everything but I feel the emotional side was lacking.
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    Do you eat a healthy diet?

    Does have social anxiety make you feel stuck? For me, I wanted to make friends but I just didn't feel I had the skills or courage to carry that out. I try to cut out processed food, soda from my diet in hopes of making my body feel better and even lose some weight. and hopefully, that can make...
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    My friendships never seem to last

    I guess it hurts even more when you are constantly making and losing friendships. For me, I try to have sincere relationships but people are always moving everywhere. I guess I have to focus on the people who will constantly be living in my city. my goal was to make more friends, but i never...
  16. Diend

    I don't understand why people want me to shut up

    I was asking some questions to a chatroom about racism and whether race exists and suddenly they all told me to shut up. I couldn't see why I was being shut down as the chatroom generally talks about vapid internet memes and make no sense at all. The chat is honestly one of the few active...
  17. Diend

    Finally Starting Treatment

    I told my physician how I was going to commit suicide and he immediately called my parents. They didn't take me seriously at first. The main thing that freaks me out is that people think depression can be 'talked' away. My friends said to consider what my parents would think if I killed myself...
  18. Diend


    I took my shirt off in public in an empty lot and stood there for 15 minutes. I hope to see positive results for winter depression and anxiety if I expose myself everyday. I was never an outdoorsy person and I wonder if not getting enough vitamin d is affecting my mood. Yesterday I became very...
  19. Diend

    How to ward off mental illness

    1. Adequate sleep, diet and exercise 2.a positive social environment
  20. Diend

    "Praying" for my recovery

    Ever since I had a mental breakdown, my mother has had a morning ritual of praying to Guan Yin, a buddhist deity. she lights the incense and sets a shot glass of water near the figure. she recites the scripture three times and kowtows a few times. Later in the day, she has me drink what she...