Jerks

you know, I was thinking after I read silverwolf's post on jerks getting girls....

I think complaints about how jerks seem to have what we want come up fairly frequently with people with SA...I mean, I know I've felt that way. How come I can't make friends, when that jacka$$ has all those people around them?

But the truth is, often, jerks get what they do because they are such big jerks that they don't even know that they are jerks, and so they aren't ashamed of it. they are often loud and obnoxious - and as a result people notice them.

See, but if even these big jerks are likeable to someone, then that means that practically anyone who puts themself out there is likeable to someone. It can be depressing, or inspiring, however you choose to look at it.

HereAndNow said:

I'm not sure how you take that inspirationally

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Because we're misinterpreting WHY they are successful. It has a lot more to do with the fact that they are pushy, or ASSERTIVE, then their actual jerkyness. I find it to be very unlikely that a boss would see a guy who was a really big ass and think, hey, what an ass, I'd better promote him! It's the fearlessness that get them promoted, not the jerkiness.

What I find inspiring is looking at that person and saying, wow, EVEN THOUGH he's a jerk, because he isn't afraid, he still gets what he wants. So imagine if a really great person wasn't afraid...look how far they could go.

I've always wondered why people like people like that, also...I think I seem kind of rude online sometimes, but I'm just alot more outspoken online, where it's easy to talk...in person, I'm actually always really nice except, sometimes--when I have a reason not to be...which usually there becomes a reason I need to not be nice, but unfortunately I don't usually get my chance to say or do anything back to the mean people...
but all the people I've known who are the hugest jerks or snobs...always have hundreds of people worshipping them, it seems. Perfect example is one of the women who works with my mom...she's even treated my mom bad on occasion. :x But everyone seems to just LOVE her. And my mom isn't too crazy about her but my mom is too nice to be mean to anyone. I, alot of times, feel like I'm the only person in the world who hates asshole-ish people like that. It just makes no sense...I personally like nice/quiet/antisocial people, like myself.

I think you have raised a valid point ther LittleMissScareAll. Maybe its not that these jerks are well liked, maybe its that people are only nice to them because they are afraid to get on their bad side. Which ties in nicely with what ayla posted, what if a genuinely nice person tried, imagine how far they could go, after all fear is not the same thing as respect.

I don't know.I think a lot of the more successful jerks know how to play the game.What I mean is they can use fake charm and manipulating when need be.When you turn the fake charm on and off like light switch you can get a lot done and people will be all over them.They do this when the need to get something.The same thing with manipulating.Thats why they are center of attention some times.Then if they don't need anything from you then the real Personality comes out.

I think a lot the them probably have Narcissistic Personality and Antisocial Personality anyways