freakalmightee
Banned
still the struggle...head pressed against pillow.....weighed down with thoughts...will it end...will it get better...is there a god....a guardian angel....am i just being weak...childish....can i make this stop if i choose to? can i stop it with death...therapy...someone who understands me? should i end it all...is that cruel to my son...will anyone really care...would they really blame me......why does my suffering seem so huge...so heavy...im not dying but i wish that i was..i dont know how to go on...how to keep on hoping it will get better...i hate my weakness i hate my selfishness...this isnt suffering i have no excuse for being this way and yet all i want is to die...to make it stop...i dont have the strength to carry on or the courage to make it stop...i cant find hope that it will get better...i cant feel or see any light at the end of this tunnel...i hate myself...please god either end it or make it better dont leave me in this limbo.