marie26
Member
hi, i'm new here. i have had social anxiety since i was a young teenager, and i have joined this forum tonight because things feel as though they have recently taken a turn for the worse.
i believe that this whole pattern began when i was in jr. high and came from somewhat normal levels of low self esteem and low self confidence, but at some point shifted into a more painful and serious condition. i started to experience chronic sweating, which made visible stains under my arms. later i began to experience blushing, which when its at its worst will creep down to my neck and chest creating a hot blotchy rash.
over the years i have tried a host of different medications the most recent being a 3 yr stint on klonopin and effexor. after graduating from college in the spring i made the decision to slowly and carefully ween off of these drugs, making this the first time in yrs where i am "myself" again. coming off of effexor was nightmarish, i cried every day and felt like all of my organs were electric. finally however, things did return to normal, and i was able to, a few months later begin the slow klonopin taper.
it has now been about 2 weeks since by last dose of klonopin. i feel really healthy and surprisingly clear and lucid, ive even lost 20 lbs.
im scared though, because i can feel this next debilitating wave of anxity coming on hard. it is something that gives me a painful instinct to hide myself away. i dread interactng with other people not because i dont like social interaction (i have figured out that having people in my life is actually very crucial and fulfilling) but because i hate the phisical symptoms that come when i am experiencing anxiety.
i am afraid of blushing, and i dread the feeling of sweating profusely. i have had to carefully select shirts that are dark in color and made of knit fabric so that the sweat won't be visible, and i have recently been drawn to shirts with high neck lines so that the blush/rash will be hidden. i only own 1 shirt that fits both requirements.
i dont kknow what to do. there are so many ways that my life has been carefully formed around this "disorder"; it feels as though i am bearing a crown of thorns at this point. it is really hard to imagine being truly happy.
if you have any suggestions or ideas for how to stay hopeful, i am open to all of your wisdom. i know im not the only one, but by the nature of being socially phobic, it is probably common to feel that we are suffering alone; thank god for the internet...
i believe that this whole pattern began when i was in jr. high and came from somewhat normal levels of low self esteem and low self confidence, but at some point shifted into a more painful and serious condition. i started to experience chronic sweating, which made visible stains under my arms. later i began to experience blushing, which when its at its worst will creep down to my neck and chest creating a hot blotchy rash.
over the years i have tried a host of different medications the most recent being a 3 yr stint on klonopin and effexor. after graduating from college in the spring i made the decision to slowly and carefully ween off of these drugs, making this the first time in yrs where i am "myself" again. coming off of effexor was nightmarish, i cried every day and felt like all of my organs were electric. finally however, things did return to normal, and i was able to, a few months later begin the slow klonopin taper.
it has now been about 2 weeks since by last dose of klonopin. i feel really healthy and surprisingly clear and lucid, ive even lost 20 lbs.
im scared though, because i can feel this next debilitating wave of anxity coming on hard. it is something that gives me a painful instinct to hide myself away. i dread interactng with other people not because i dont like social interaction (i have figured out that having people in my life is actually very crucial and fulfilling) but because i hate the phisical symptoms that come when i am experiencing anxiety.
i am afraid of blushing, and i dread the feeling of sweating profusely. i have had to carefully select shirts that are dark in color and made of knit fabric so that the sweat won't be visible, and i have recently been drawn to shirts with high neck lines so that the blush/rash will be hidden. i only own 1 shirt that fits both requirements.
i dont kknow what to do. there are so many ways that my life has been carefully formed around this "disorder"; it feels as though i am bearing a crown of thorns at this point. it is really hard to imagine being truly happy.
if you have any suggestions or ideas for how to stay hopeful, i am open to all of your wisdom. i know im not the only one, but by the nature of being socially phobic, it is probably common to feel that we are suffering alone; thank god for the internet...