Old 01-25-2018
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This comes to mind:
Well that's one true statement
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Old 01-26-2018
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I'm always punctual and reliable when it comes to work and my timings and I wouldn't regularly advocate others to be slack in this regard.

I've got a younger work colleague who takes her lunch break with someone else. Now, another person encouraged her to take a long break and not to make the time back as the manager wasn't around. Her response was "someone keeps giving me looks" if I was to do that.

Now the manager is unpopular so if she was referring to him she would have said it. She was teased to name who it was but when the assumption was made it was someone else she dismissed that. So she then sheepishly said another work colleague had said the manager was giving her looks when her original comment was referring to her.

At this stage I could overhear their conversation in another room so I'm leaning towards it was me she was referring to. Admittedly I tend to notice if she goes on a longer break but don't say anything as I'm not her boss. But having helped her in her role I'm saddened, bordering on anger, that she may think I'm "giving her looks"
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Old 01-27-2018
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At hospital recently, many of the male & female nurses were poking fun at me, which is VERY unprofessional. One guy said ~'i can sense you've got problems .. poor guy, ha'. And another on passing my ward said `ok, i'll get you a gun'. Another kept saying the same words (directed to me) over & over. Just shows how modern people are "in the gutter" regarding how they view themselves & others & treat others. Completely DESPICABLE behaviour.
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Old 01-27-2018
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^ Aye, some folk are c _ %T$...

I had a similar experience with some of the female nurses when I was in hospital. So yer not alone in experiencing that. I can totally related to how some people treat each others like $h!%, though. I'm related to people do that on a daily basis. And as f*ckin' awful as that kinda behaviour is, best to learn from it, in my opinion, and not be like them.
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Old 01-30-2018
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Just found out my sister is pregnant..


....uggghhhhh -_- . Being around kids really just makes me feel old .


tbh, I miss BEING a kid. I had a great childhood.

Now all my cousins and siblings are having kids of their own. Its kind of a bummer.


For example, christmas hasnt felt the same for YEARS. When you're an adult there is literally no "magic" around the holidays anymore but when you're a kid christmas is awesome .
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Old 01-30-2018
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Drinking pre-workout but not working out, yeah boieeee.
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Old 01-31-2018
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I know I think about death too much, but it had me thinking about life recently. They do go hand in hand, being dead is not being alive, and being alive is not being dead, basically.

I sometimes have to remember that most people don't have the same feelings about or experiences with death that I have. I'll then force myself into the shoes of someone who doesn't feel those things, or can understand what it's like to have been to those places. I try to think of how I would explain it, because I think often people would generalize this one idea to all people who have tried, or wanted to, hurt themselves, whether it be that they must be really sad, or that they must be irrational and disconnected from reality, or that they're stupid or weak and can't find a better solution.

When thinking through it, I usually always want to distinguish between wanting to die and not wanting to live, because I don't think they are the same. I think a person can feel both, but they aren't the same feeling. The best analogy for it I can think of is that it is like going into a ice cream shop, and one person goes in knowing they want chocolate, and another goes in knowing they don't want strawberry. The second person may order chocolate, but it's not necessarily what they want either, they just don't want strawberry. The first person isn't eliminating options they don't want like the second, they are picking the option they think is best.

And in this analogy, chocolate is death.

I was thinking of that because I have been both people from the analogy before, but not for a while. Any serious thought of those haven't really entered my mind in at least a couple years. And I was thinking where my mentality may be.

And that's where the life bit comes in. I thought maybe if there's wanting to die and not wanting to live, perhaps there is wanting to live and not wanting to die. Personally I don't like the wording, I know stupid semantics, but it makes more sense to be Reasons to live (or things to live for) and reasons to not die. Because when I think of it that way, it makes sense. I feel like I don't have any "reasons" to live for, I don't feel like I have anything to live for, but I can name plenty if reasons to not die.

There are the obvious ones, hurting my family and friends, the emotional and financial burden of all that. There's the idea of failing, and making things worse. And with that the idea that life could become wonderful and amazing tomorrow, that I would somehow gain whatever it is that makes my life feel like it is lacking. And then there is the not knowing what happens next, perhaps there is a reason to go on I'm not aware of.

All these things give me reasons not to die, to sustain my life, but none of them give me anything to live for. I feel in that past I have had that, even in moments when the chocolate tempted me, I felt like there was something to work towards. Now that feeling just isn't with me. I feel like I'm just making a pro-die list and a pro-not-die list, and counting up all the points for each side. It's like I'm just waiting for that one thing to tip the scales, for something to make not being alive look more attractive than not being dead does.

So yes, that's my very uplifting thought/feeling for the day.
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Old 01-31-2018
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Just got home from work, about 12:30am here. It's the night of the "super blue blood moon" for certain parts of the world tonight, including here. Looks good.

It's amazing to think people used to see this happening and think a 'god' was angry. So they'd make sacrifices etc. Now we know what it is. Go science!

Apparently this rare combination that happened tonight wont happen again for another 150 years. There will of course be other eclipses but not a rare one like tonight's.

It's amazing to think the last time this happened, there were no cars or planes, no phones or pc's.. the next time we'll all be dust and bones. Most likely forgotten.

I mean, unless you where famous no one recalls the every day people of 150 years ago?
They are dust on the wind.. not even a memory. Just like we will be the next time this type of eclipse happens..
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Old 02-01-2018
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Why does the lunar eclipse progress vertically, whereas a solar eclipse is horizontal?
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Old 02-01-2018
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'Don't take revenge, karma (I'd replace it w/ God) will eventually get back at 'em!'

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Old 02-01-2018
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My inability to be a regular human strikes again...

I feel really embarrassed about a situation that happened at work yesterday. I need to be careful about being nice. I am nice to everyone and I smile a lot - people often have told me I am the nicest person they have ever met, but I think I need to stop.

Someone who is at least 20-25 years older than me asked me out for coffee yesterday - I handled it very poorly and I feel terrible. I didn't mean to send that vibe - I get nervous in every social situation and giggle/smile/say stupid shit.
I didn't want to embarrass him or anything, but all I could say was "ummmm.....no?" - I honestly was super creeped out by the whole thing.

I just hope I don't run into him again...

Then, to make matters worse, I took it as if I am too ugly to have people my own age ask me out and felt hideous/embarassed/old looking the rest of the day. Then, I got mad at myself for having feelings like that because it's rude to the guy who asked me out because I find him very unattractive.

Yep, I need a lobotomy.

Last edited by Sarah_M; 02-02-2018 at 01:53 AM.
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Old 02-03-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah_M View Post
My inability to be a regular human strikes again...

I feel really embarrassed about a situation that happened at work yesterday. I need to be careful about being nice. I am nice to everyone and I smile a lot - people often have told me I am the nicest person they have ever met, but I think I need to stop.

Someone who is at least 20-25 years older than me asked me out for coffee yesterday - I handled it very poorly and I feel terrible. I didn't mean to send that vibe - I get nervous in every social situation and giggle/smile/say stupid shit.
I didn't want to embarrass him or anything, but all I could say was "ummmm.....no?" - I honestly was super creeped out by the whole thing.

I just hope I don't run into him again...

Then, to make matters worse, I took it as if I am too ugly to have people my own age ask me out and felt hideous/embarassed/old looking the rest of the day. Then, I got mad at myself for having feelings like that because it's rude to the guy who asked me out because I find him very unattractive.

Yep, I need a lobotomy.
You're probably the first attractive girl that's been nice to him in a long time, so he took a chance, don't worry about it too much.

He knew it was a long-shot, but on the other hand, he'd be kicking himself forever if he didn't try.
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Old 02-03-2018
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Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
You're probably the first attractive girl that's been nice to him in a long time, so he took a chance, don't worry about it too much.

He knew it was a long-shot, but on the other hand, he'd be kicking himself forever if he didn't try.
I can sympathize with Fountain' s feelings on the situation. I'm 31 years old and at this age, the major majority of women close to my age are either married or in serious relationships already. It's even worse for people older than me still...I'm not making excuses for the guy but still, I believe this is how it is.
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Old 02-03-2018
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Jealous of me? Aye, tell me something I don't know, Mum. She's always been like that towards me. But then, she's the middle child. In fact, I'd argue that she hates me. Why? Multiple reasons, really, but being smarter than her has got to be one of them. I had to explain to her what a setup file was, much to my embarrassment...

Eh, the fact I'm more mature... I could go on. It's not hard to see why we've never gotten along. In fact, it's blatantly obvious if you compare how she speaks you during an argument to how I speak to you.
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Old 02-03-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
You're probably the first attractive girl that's been nice to him in a long time, so he took a chance, don't worry about it too much.

He knew it was a long-shot, but on the other hand, he'd be kicking himself forever if he didn't try.
Thanks, Fountain. I just feel really bad about my reaction - I don't like being mean or embarrassing other people. I don't think I am that attractive considering I don't attract many guys my own age lol.
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Old 02-03-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
I can sympathize with Fountain' s feelings on the situation. I'm 31 years old and at this age, the major majority of women close to my age are either married or in serious relationships already. It's even worse for people older than me still...I'm not making excuses for the guy but still, I believe this is how it is.
I can totally relate to how you're feeling - I just turned 27 and I feel like there is literally no one for me. Everyone I come across is either taken or aren't interested in me at all.
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Old 02-04-2018
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One of my favorite things to do late at night is to watch or listen to YouTube videos in bed. Well...rewind to last night and I'm lying in bed in the dark with my headphones on and I feel something funny on the right side of my jaw. No big deal I thought, it's just the wires to my headphones rubbing against my face so I swat it away. Two seconds later it happens again...this time on my neck. After the second time I immediately get pissed off because I know what it is now. I swat away like crazy, bolt out of bed, turn on the lights, pull back the bed sheets, and there's a roach...thank the Lord I killed it or I would have been awake literally all night long looking for it. It just pisses me off because it's not the first time this has happened. I can't get the home gassed by pest control because I just live here....damn!

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Old 02-04-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hot_Tamale View Post
One of my favorite things to do late at night is to watch or listen to YouTube videos in bed. Well...rewind to last night and I'm lying in bed in the dark with my headphones on and I feel something funny on the right side of my jaw. No big deal I thought, it's just the wires to my headphones rubbing against my face so I swat it away. Two seconds later it happens again...this time on my neck. After the second time I immediately get pissed off because I know what it is now. I swat away like crazy, bolt out of bed, turn on the lights, pull back the bed sheets, and there's a roach...thank the Lord I killed it or I would have been awake literally all night long looking for it. It just pisses me off because it's not the first time this has happened. I can't get the home gassed by pest control because I just live here....damn!
That's one of my favs, too - I watch ASMR videos.

I would FREAK the **** out if there was a roach on me! Thankfully, where I live, it's not common to have roaches. We do get spiders, though. I just don't do bugs lol.
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Old 02-04-2018
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That's one of my favs, too - I watch ASMR videos.

I would FREAK the **** out if there was a roach on me! Thankfully, where I live, it's not common to have roaches. We do get spiders, though. I just don't do bugs lol.
ASMR videos sound interesting. I had to Google the definition of it first...heh. I normally listen to white noise like rainfall, fan noise, etc but there can't be harm in branching out and trying something new to see if it works, so I'll pick a random ASMR video and see if I like it.
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Old 02-04-2018
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I tried a few minutes of ASMR on YouTube...I don't know if I can do it. Those untillegible whispers and claws tapping on wood give me the willies.
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