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Old 6 Days Ago
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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I wonder how it would go if I just had t-shirts printed-up that read "I Have Social Phobia" on them, and wore them when I went out?

Would my weirdness be better understood?

Would it be seen as an attention-seeking stunt?

Would Thora Birch see me, say we're soulmates and take me away from all of this?

It may be a worthwhile social experiment.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
I wonder how it would go if I just had t-shirts printed-up that read "I Have Social Phobia" on them, and wore them when I went out?

Would my weirdness be better understood?

Would it be seen as an attention-seeking stunt?

Would Thora Birch see me, say we're soulmates and take me away from all of this?

It may be a worthwhile social experiment.

https://www.google.com/search?q=what...w=1707&bih=868
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Old 6 Days Ago
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currently getting beered up.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Old 5 Days Ago
 

Today was one of the worst days of my life - I just want to cry.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Originally Posted by NathanielWingatePeaslee View Post
That should save me some effort.

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Originally Posted by Sarah_M View Post
Today was one of the worst days of my life - I just want to cry.
What happened?
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Old 5 Days Ago
 

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What happened?
I was getting a patient up yesterday to go to an appointment and he fell. He was elderly, so now he's in worse shape than before - I feel like shit because of it. Yesterday, as a whole, was super chaotic at work and just over all shitty.

To make matters worse, the guy I was seeing a few months ago (he worked in my department, but moved away for school), is now coming back to work full time in my department. There's a woman who he goes to school with who also works in my department sometimes - I had to sit and watch them flirt the entire 2 days I have had to work with both of them. I know he has a crush on her and it just really sucks for me. He still talks to me as if nothing ever happened between us... I made the mistake of sleeping with him, so I feel like that ****ed me up/made me get attached. I still am attracted to him, too - I hate it. Just another knife in the heart, I guess.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Originally Posted by Sarah_M View Post
I was getting a patient up yesterday to go to an appointment and he fell. He was elderly, so now he's in worse shape than before - I feel like shit because of it. Yesterday, as a whole, was super chaotic at work and just over all shitty.

To make matters worse, the guy I was seeing a few months ago (he worked in my department, but moved away for school), is now coming back to work full time in my department. There's a woman who he goes to school with who also works in my department sometimes - I had to sit and watch them flirt the entire 2 days I have had to work with both of them. I know he has a crush on her and it just really sucks for me. He still talks to me as if nothing ever happened between us... I made the mistake of sleeping with him, so I feel like that ****ed me up/made me get attached. I still am attracted to him, too - I hate it. Just another knife in the heart, I guess.
It's murder trying to hide your feelings when you're sensitive.

I once had an elderly neighbor fall while I was helping him and I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

Treat yourself to something, you earned it.
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Old 4 Days Ago
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Originally Posted by vj288 View Post
I had a therapist once who told me, as humans, we don't do things that we don't have some reason or another for doing. A thing that is completely bad in every way, basically, we just wouldn't do. Somewhere in our brains, we have some reason for all the things we do.

This makes me wonder about certain things I do, like repeatedly listen to the same album over and over when I know it will make me feel depressed. Do I want to feel depressed? That doesn't sound right, but then I'm left without an answer. I could say it's because I like the music, but then the question as to why I like something that depresses me comes up.

It feels like this is the beginning of an answer to something, like some sort of insight into my psychology, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I often feel like I'm my own worst enemy and hold myself back. I know how I feel, but I don't know why.
I've once done some "research" on that matter a while ago and it would appear that the answer simply lies in the fact that it makes your brain produce one of the chemicals responsible for pleasure and, indirectly (?), addiction, same chemicals that some studies have shown to be responsable for "therapy addiction" (the brief feeling of pleasure that whining and complaining induces). I don't remember all the science behind it because I have no memory and I'm not that smart but with some perseverance (the studies on brain chemicals and stuff are surprisingly scattered) you can find some very interesting theories.
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Old 4 Days Ago
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Originally Posted by Pacific_Loner View Post
I've once done some "research" on that matter a while ago and it would appear that the answer simply lies in the fact that it makes your brain produce one of the chemicals responsible for pleasure and, indirectly (?), addiction, same chemicals that some studies have shown to be responsable for "therapy addiction" (the brief feeling of pleasure that whining and complaining induces). I don't remember all the science behind it because I have no memory and I'm not that smart but with some perseverance (the studies on brain chemicals and stuff are surprisingly scattered) you can find some very interesting theories.
Thanks, that is interesting. I actually almost used the word "addicting" in my original post, because that's how it feels sometimes. I'll have to look for some of these theories, I'm curious as to how the cognitive aspects interact with the biological ones, and (in a more philosophical sense) why.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I wonder how many people abandoned the forum because of the recent security breach.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I wonder how many people abandoned the forum because of the recent security breach.
was there REALLY a security breach?

I haven't noticed anything different/had any problems.


I suppose the webmaster and perhaps the moderators would know for sure.
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Old 2 Days Ago
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was there REALLY a security breach?

I haven't noticed anything different/had any problems.


I suppose the webmaster and perhaps the moderators would know for sure.
Yeah, the term "breach" implies that some individual hacked the SPW with ill intent. There's no evidence to indicate that. The software is just out of date and the site has been especially glitchy lately. Hopefully the webmaster will do something soon.
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Old 2 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vj288 View Post
Thanks, that is interesting. I actually almost used the word "addicting" in my original post, because that's how it feels sometimes. I'll have to look for some of these theories, I'm curious as to how the cognitive aspects interact with the biological ones, and (in a more philosophical sense) why.
Yeah the word Addiction doesn't sound like an overstatement when you listen the same song in loop from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep, for days and days....
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Old 2 Days Ago
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Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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When life gives you lemons, punch life in the face.
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pacific_Loner View Post
Yeah the word Addiction doesn't sound like an overstatement when you listen the same song in loop from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep, for days and days....
When i'm acutely depressed, sometimes i've replayed the same (dreary) song over and over in my head, for days on end. I couldn't stop it!
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
When life gives you lemons, punch life in the face.
Or.... When life gives you lemons, forcefully throw them back at life, really hard.



It is quite amazing how totally brainwashed many humans can allow themselves to become.
Watching the results can make you drift between shocked, sad, frustrated, angry, homicidal, sympathetic and defeated.
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Old 1 Day Ago
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I don't think i can "so******e" comfortably with people, even with alcohol. It's always hard work - too much hard work. That could be a reason i never so******e, so that i don't constantly get drained during and after people. I struggle to get the conversation upbeat, as really, i'm sad & negative in general.

'One more drink and you're sailing away' from the hardship/stress of so******ing. Now that would be useful for me.

For some reason i don't stressed when it's online (but probably would get stressed with video chat; less stressed with instant chat).
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Old 1 Day Ago
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Being sober is f*ckin' shite!
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Old 1 Day Ago
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