Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, if I make it through this rough time, at least I'll huv some f*cked-up stories to tell. :giggle: That's the great thing about dysfunctional families. No shortage of humour. Dark, surreal, unnerving humour; but humour, nonetheless.
 
For people like me, "love" is NOT FREE
It costs at least $60 per half-hour, or some other exorbitant fee

A heart disintegrated by decades of isolation
Along with the much-needed compulsory masturbation
Rather all that, than the terrifying rejection
That leads to an out-of-control mood & often also depression
...
(PiP, Poetry in Progress ... <SUSPENDED>)
 
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Well, if I make it through this rough time, at least I'll huv some f*cked-up stories to tell. :giggle: That's the great thing about dysfunctional families. No shortage of humour. Dark, surreal, unnerving humour; but humour, nonetheless.

Every black cloud has a silver lining, eh? :question:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Every black cloud has a silver lining, eh? :question:

Aye... :thumbup: Well, I gotta get something good out this psycho-fanny shit-storm of dysfunction that arrived last month. And I can't exactly focus on making any music, or finish ones I started, at the moment - what with the racket my middle sisters and her kids are making.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Move oot and live on my own, or suicide? :question: Or move oot, then off masel'? :thinking: So many option, huh? :idontknow:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
My life suffocates
Planting seeds of hate
I've loved, turned to hate
Trapped far beyond my fate
I give
You take
This life that I forsake
Been cheated of my youth
You turned this lie to truth

Anger
Misery
You'll suffer unto me
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
"No! C'mon! I want. Don't like it!" :crying:

^ These are the words frequently said by my oldest niece, who will be 3 years old this December. I foresee her being the disruptive kid in school who always talks back to the teacher. As well as a right militant feminist when she's reaches adulthood.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead
 

AtTheGates

Banned
We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead


I used to have the Alice in Chains MTV unplugged concert on DVD....but it somehow vanished..lol...cant find it anywhere....I used to listen to AiC back when I was super depressed....good music but I can't say its the best thing to listen to while depressed, but thats just my personal opinion.

Seether has done a few good covers of this song..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn9ZhdBU9V4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBdXLRl2g2E
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I used to have the Alice in Chains MTV unplugged concert on DVD....but it somehow vanished..lol...cant find it anywhere....I used to listen to AiC back when I was super depressed....good music but I can't say its the best thing to listen to while depressed, but thats just my personal opinion.

I know that... But I'm not super depressed. Just pissed off that my family can't seem to do anything but yell and argue. And I got yelled at a few weeks for trying to be the "voice of reason" and call for calm, but no. So the following lines

And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

... as well as the last 3 lines of the 2nd verse kinda speak to my feelings of being isolated within my own family.

And I've heard that Seether cover of Nutshell before, live as well. The date in the video title of that cover you posted there is quite significant, actually; as that would've been the tour I saw them on. Except I saw them live 3 months later in early 2009 when they did short trek of UK shows.

Also, I think the MTV Unplugged performance is better than Nirvana's MTV Unplugged show.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Wonder what my brain would be like now if I had another MRI scan? Would if it should how much brain function I've lost since giving on my education? :question: Cuz I definitely feel that I'm getting dumb with age. Not that I'm that well-educated to begin with. :sad:
 
I'm feeling super hopeful right now! The past month and a half has been rough for me emotionally, but I am so excited for what's on the horizon. I am revisiting the hypnotherapy thing - I found a woman with good reviews. She significantly decreased the price of therapy for me and I am so excited to rid myself of old thought patterns and form new neural pathways.

I got a gym membership at my favorite gym (they just put one here!) and holy shit, I forgot how much I love working out at an actual gym - I feel so good. It helps me tremendously with my emotional state. I ordered some BCAAs so I can try intermittent fasting to finally have my dream body - I feel so motivated. I am going to get myself off of caffeine too - it is doing more harm for me than good and I am pretty addicted to it.

School starts in 16 days! I can't believe I am a college student - I can't wait to feel the effects of hypnosis and have minimal to no anxiety! I can't wait to have friends too - it's going to be nice to actually socialize. I read an article saying that having no friends is worse for you than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day - that's pretty crazy.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
I know that... But I'm not super depressed. Just pissed off that my family can't seem to do anything but yell and argue. And I got yelled at a few weeks for trying to be the "voice of reason" and call for calm, but no. So the following lines

And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

... as well as the last 3 lines of the 2nd verse kinda speak to my feelings of being isolated within my own family.

And I've heard that Seether cover of Nutshell before, live as well. The date in the video title of that cover you posted there is quite significant, actually; as that would've been the tour I saw them on. Except I saw them live 3 months later in early 2009 when they did short trek of UK shows.

Also, I think the MTV Unplugged performance is better than Nirvana's MTV Unplugged show.

I just meant that it wasnt best for ME personally to listen to when I was super depressed.


and I definitely agree. In general I think Layne Staley was a way better vocalist than Kurt Cobain and he never really got as much credit for it. If you listen to Alice in Chains first album you can hear him hit notes that Kurt Cobain could NEVER hit.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm considering going behind my mother back and put my name of housing list, to make my local council aware that I looking for a place of my own. Since my mind is just saying:
"Fuc... Tae f*ck with this, man! F*ckin' get yersel' outta here as soon as. Right?!"

As I don't any point in waiting much longer. Aye, she asked me the other day since when have I been thinking of moving out, as she didnae huv a clue. Eh, turn since we bloody moved house back in the early 90s and the neglect started. Or does that make me a c*nt? Since I'm thinking about myself at time when everyone else is walkin' on eggshell so as not to upset my middle sister? :question:

Yet, ironically, I begged to move out before my middle sister and her kids moved in. But my mum and oldest sister just laugh at me. :thumbdown: Kinda wish I'd just forced their hand and f*cked off anyway.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I just meant that it wasnt best for ME personally to listen to when I was super depressed.

I don't tend to do that either, except when going through tough time, like at the moment and I feel like tell everyone around me to f*ck but can't. So, that's when the darker more angry metal music gets blasted on my stereo.

But it tends to be unbeat, for the most part. Or if it has to be specifically metal, then I tend to go with Maiden and Priest.

and I definitely agree. In general I think Layne Staley was a way better vocalist than Kurt Cobain and he never really got as much credit for it. If you listen to Alice in Chains first album you can hear him hit notes that Kurt Cobain could NEVER hit.

Had a listen to some that first Alice In Chains album the other day, oddly enough. :bigsmile: And yeah, Staley had some vocal range, man. Though, you could argue AiC never really got much credit for what they were doing musicallly. Since they were more of a metal band than grunge.
 

JK17

Member
I'm new here, but have suffered from social anxiety and many phobias. The night time is worst for me as I feel very small, weak, pathetic, and just want to give up. Sometimes when morning comes I'm surprised I made it through...

I feel so alone right now and am desperate to hear a comforting voice, to feel an actual touch... I've been trapped for far too long (29 years) and it isn't my fault. I was born this way, with genetic problems, though you couldn't tell from the outside, and I'm stuck where I am with no one to help me... I just want things to either change or just end...
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm new here, but have suffered from social anxiety and many phobias. The night time is worst for me as I feel very small, weak, pathetic, and just want to give up. Sometimes when morning comes I'm surprised I made it through...

I feel so alone right now and am desperate to hear a comforting voice, to feel an actual touch... I've been trapped for far too long (29 years) and it isn't my fault. I was born this way, with genetic problems, though you couldn't tell from the outside, and I'm stuck where I am with no one to help me... I just want things to either change or just end...

Firstly, hello - welcome to the forum. :greeting:

Secondly, I can very much related, having been born with a physical and learning disability. Growing in a dysfunctional family, and raised by my mum who was, and still is, deeply religious. And a militant feminists who hates all men, except me her only son. Yeah, trying and make sense of that one. :confused:

So, I also feel stuck, since my family are constantly fighting amongst themselves. But, too them, there's no link between that and me feeling depressed and anxious. :kickingmyself: And when I try to calm things, that just make everything worse. :sad: Similarly I wish I had someone to comfort me as well.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I need a friend who knows something about 12V batteries, alternators and stuff

But I'm too lazy to make one and it wouldn't feel honest.
 
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