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Old 01-04-2017
Graeme1988's Avatar
Hie ye hence from me heath!
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I keep trying, then... Deleting. Type. Delete. Type. Delete.

Guess that what I get for not being emotionally intelligent enough to express how I'm feeling.

I wish I didn't feel as self-conscious of myself everytime I walked out the front door of my house. You'd think as physically disabled person I'd be used to people staring, but no...
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Old 01-06-2017
Megaten's Avatar
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Ive really screwed myself. Not exactly sure whats going to happen with my plans for the future now but all I know is its my own damn fault.
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Old 01-06-2017
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Ive really screwed myself. Not exactly sure whats going to happen with my plans for the future now but all I know is its my own damn fault
Well the main thing is to have a roof over your head, and food on the table. All the rest is window dressing, as they say.
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Old 01-06-2017
 

I have been feeling little pain in the chest region on left side. I know it is not a heart attack as it has been for one month. It happens sometimes and lasts long for 2-5 minutes. I think it is related to gas. This has made me little depressed.
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Old 01-06-2017
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Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
Well the main thing is to have a roof over your head, and food on the table. All the rest is window dressing, as they say.
I wish that was enough for me to be happy. I wish it was my own roof too.
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Old 01-06-2017
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Originally Posted by AtTheGates View Post
its interesting how a girl can call you on the phone, be excited to talk to you, literally say she loves you ..and then 24 hours later just erase you from her life...after a year and a half of this she just suddenly says she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore, blocks my number, and pretty much erases any sign that ANYTHING ever happened between us.......its almost feels like she's just finished with me..i had served my purpose in her life so she just threw me away.


after all the times i was there for her and listened to her cry and talk about her life and how hard things are for her, tried to give her advice, was there for her when she felt completly alone......after a year and a half of that she just throws me away like I'm nothing.
Girls - more specifically the less mature ones, will use and abuse you.
They will keep you around until they find something/someone they consider better or more useful.

But in 'ditching' you they have in fact done you a favor. (Although you may not currently see it that way). The best thing for anyone is to have these sorts of ppl (toxic ppl) cut from their lives.

So my friend, try to look at it as a positive rather than a negative. Because a girl worth knowing wouldn't treat you that way.
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Old 01-06-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
My mum's kicking off and being "eccentric"... again. Why am I forced to suffer this immature, stupid behaviour?
Oh boy... "eccentric." I used to know a girl who covered all her shitty behavior with that word, that and "passionate." They're code words for childish.
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Old 01-06-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
Oh boy... "eccentric." I used to know a girl who covered all her shitty behavior with that word, that and "passionate." They're code words for childish.
Aye, that's true. I'm getting really fed-up with having to put up with it, though.
Just having to accept it, otherwise I'm an "uptight" arsehole.

It's stressful being only member of my immediate family who's self-aware enough to realise people tend to treat ya based upon how you treat them or conduct yerself. Y'know the hilarious thing is, my family would contextualise what I just said there as me saying I'm better than them were I to actually say that out loud. Can't win at all.
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Old 01-06-2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtTheGates View Post
its interesting how a girl can call you on the phone, be excited to talk to you, literally say she loves you ..and then 24 hours later just erase you from her life...after a year and a half of this she just suddenly says she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore, blocks my number, and pretty much erases any sign that ANYTHING ever happened between us.......its almost feels like she's just finished with me..i had served my purpose in her life so she just threw me away.


after all the times i was there for her and listened to her cry and talk about her life and how hard things are for her, tried to give her advice, was there for her when she felt completly alone......after a year and a half of that she just throws me away like I'm nothing.
You should never give a woman more than she gives to you. Many women can not, and will not respect a man who does that.
Not saying that you did that but it sounds like you were there for her a lot from what you wrote here.
The best thing to do in this situation is to learn from it and give the next one less of your attention.
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Old 01-07-2017
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"Novelty is one of the keys to happiness". Interesting...
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Old 01-07-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Aye, that's true. I'm getting really fed-up with having to put up with it, though.
Just having to accept it, otherwise I'm an "uptight" arsehole.

It's stressful being only member of my immediate family who's self-aware enough to realise people tend to treat ya based upon how you treat them or conduct yerself. Y'know the hilarious thing is, my family would contextualise what I just said there as me saying I'm better than them were I to actually say that out loud. Can't win at all.
I hear you. Any time I'd get fed up she'd try to twist it around like I was the one with a problem. "God, you're so petulant! or "Are you a woman?"

Just remember that you're actually the one who's well in this situation. They're simply trying to maintain the status quo and keep things the way they are.

You don't have to win the argument to be right.
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Old 01-07-2017
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It's a hard life when you're loving but ugly.
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Old 01-07-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
I hear you. Any time I'd get fed up she'd try to twist it around like I was the one with a problem. "God, you're so petulant! or "Are you a woman?"

Just remember that you're actually the one who's well in this situation. They're simply trying to maintain the status quo and keep things the way they are.

You don't have to win the argument to be right.
I'll try and keep that in mind, as far as being well goes. Gonnae be difficult, mind you. Since it's always me who is made-out to be bad guy most of the time. It's not easy being blamed for someone else's faults.

Quote:
Originally Posted by theslowesthand View Post
It's a hard life when you're loving but ugly.
Same here, mate. Even though most probably wouldn't consider me ugly - but that's BDD for ya. Though, I've got a disability to contend with - so it's not like I've got it any easier, myself.
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Old 01-07-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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It's difficult trying fit in socially when ya standout so much from those around you.
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Old 01-08-2017
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Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
It's difficult trying fit in socially when ya standout so much from those around you.
It's nigh upon impossible, mate.
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Old 01-08-2017
 

I am not a huge fan of Joni Mitchell's music, though her lyrics are very good-I do really like her and respect her very much as a person after I watched an interview with her. She's a better artist than a musician imo, she paints amazing landscapes. Also, she speaks the truth about society more poetically and intelligently than anyone I have ever heard.
She's a massive recluse too which makes her my hero.
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Old 01-08-2017
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Hie ye hence from me heath!
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I'm a broken man. There, ah f**kin' said it. I'm miserable as f**k. Yay! You win, family!

It's always my fault. I'm always the bad guy, just like ma dad. The cold, inconsiderate, selfish b@$%@*! Or so I keep getting told, anyway.
Must be true then, huh?
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Old 01-09-2017
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ΔxΔp≥h/2π
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She exists to me now as memories and a selection of vestigial entries on contact lists. Entries that I can only assume will never say "Online" again.

Someday I'll accept this, and I'll move on.
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Old 01-11-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyrophosphate View Post
She exists to me now as memories and a selection of vestigial entries on contact lists. Entries that I can only assume will never say "Online" again.

Someday I'll accept this, and I'll move on.
That's tough sledding; I wish you the best.
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Old 01-12-2017
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It has been a while since I have been on here. My laptop broke and since I am broke I am making do with some old computers now.
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