Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

S

spider04

1
Randomly met a guy that used to bully me, one time he put my bag in the trash can during recess without me knowing. That was about 10 years ago, seeing him again now I didn't feel hatred towards him. I had a small talk with him and then left, these situations where I randomly meet someone I know make me quite anxious.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
theslowesthand said:
Perhaps you could go to a technical institute (is more practical) :question:
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^ I've looked into vocational schools. I do want to attend one, or two, once I graduate. One for entrepreneurship and another for extended nutrition practice and techniques (alternative medicine). It just makes me wonder though if I should be attending these now rather than bothering with college at the moment....?

Megaten said:
Sounds like you got burnt out. Which is pretty much where I am. I went and got a four year degree and then went back and added another two years to it. And Ive about had enough. I never really have any free time. And Im not even employed so I cant imagine what life is like for those working while in school. Professors are already asking me if I wanna go to grad school and Im like "I just wanna move out of my parents house" Ill worry about that other stuff once I can get some damn freedom and privacy. Mind if I ask what your major is?
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^ Yeah I've been burned out for a while now and the semester just started! I was burned out before I even started school, really. With work and personal issues, it really left me vulnerable to the added stress of school once it started. :sad: I'm starting to relax a bit more now, I'm better than I was two weeks ago, but I still feel "off."

You say you're adding another 2 years to it, but you're not in grad school? What exactly are you doing with your degree, and what is it?

I'm majoring in Nutrition and Dietetics. Because it's a health field, it's pretty competitive and very heavy with socialization and interning. I have yet to do any socializing with my classmates and actual interning (I've done a couple job shadows and attended some workshops at other private practices, but that doesn't really count) and I've been here 2 freaking years. It's so much pressure, every year they tell you to go here and go there and everywhere to intern. But honestly the reason why I haven't really socialized much or sought out internships is because I hate it. A lot of the girls (There are very few guys in my major) are very catty because of the competition, and it really turns me off from talking to them. Plus I'm a transfer AND a commuter, so I don't really have as much time to even talk with people because I work and I have my own life outside of school. I know there are people out there that go to school full-time, work full-time, and still manage to find time to go out and have friends and have this amazing social life, but I certainly don't work like that. I never have and never will.

I also hate it because I just find it pointless to drag yourself all over the city, jumping from position to position to work only in hospitals, without getting paid, while you're paying for gas and risk getting in a car accident every time. Private practices very rarely will ever intern. Or at least around here. So you're stuck being in hospitals. And I hate hospitals. Plus all those internships aren't going to pay off my student loans. :thumbdown:

So yeah, I love my literal studies, I just hate everything that's attached to it. It's not like I don't have connections though, I just don't have connections here where I am. My connections are in 3 different cities, each about 2 hours away. But with my fiance's job here, there's no promises that I'll even be able to work in those places. He will always make more money than me, plus he loves his job and I would much rather him keep his and me give up my own and find another path.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I wonder if you can set the page/thread so newest comments show first rather than always clicking to the last page..
Anyone know how to do that?
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
Yeah I've been burned out for a while now and the semester just started! I was burned out before I even started school, really. With work and personal issues, it really left me vulnerable to the added stress of school once it started. :sad: I'm starting to relax a bit more now, I'm better than I was two weeks ago, but I still feel "off."

You say you're adding another 2 years to it, but you're not in grad school? What exactly are you doing with your degree, and what is it?

I'm majoring in Nutrition and Dietetics. Because it's a health field, it's pretty competitive and very heavy with socialization and interning. I have yet to do any socializing with my classmates and actual interning (I've done a couple job shadows and attended some workshops at other private practices, but that doesn't really count) and I've been here 2 freaking years. It's so much pressure, every year they tell you to go here and go there and everywhere to intern. But honestly the reason why I haven't really socialized much or sought out internships is because I hate it. A lot of the girls (There are very few guys in my major) are very catty because of the competition, and it really turns me off from talking to them. Plus I'm a transfer AND a commuter, so I don't really have as much time to even talk with people because I work and I have my own life outside of school. I know there are people out there that go to school full-time, work full-time, and still manage to find time to go out and have friends and have this amazing social life, but I certainly don't work like that. I never have and never will.

I also hate it because I just find it pointless to drag yourself all over the city, jumping from position to position to work only in hospitals, without getting paid, while you're paying for gas and risk getting in a car accident every time. Private practices very rarely will ever intern. Or at least around here. So you're stuck being in hospitals. And I hate hospitals. Plus all those internships aren't going to pay off my student loans. :thumbdown:

So yeah, I love my literal studies, I just hate everything that's attached to it. It's not like I don't have connections though, I just don't have connections here where I am. My connections are in 3 different cities, each about 2 hours away. But with my fiance's job here, there's no promises that I'll even be able to work in those places. He will always make more money than me, plus he loves his job and I would much rather him keep his and me give up my own and find another path.
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Well Im almost done now actually. But first I got a BS in Biology and after I graduated I found it extremely difficult to find a job. Especially one that seems worth all the money I paid for the degree. Its just too general and I live in a bad area for it. I taking clinical laboratory science now and will be in a hospital setting too. Ill be doing something like your internship this spring. They're sending me out of town to shadow workers at a hospital but I have to pay for my own housing and food while working for free. And yeah Ive got loans now too. I swear the whole system just takes advantage of people. And thanks to the information explosion, people are being told they need more and more school to live comfortably. My dad got a job packing cigarettes with his high school diploma, but now they want college educated workers -___- .
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
S_Spartan said:
Why do you say that?
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BlueDays said:
What are you afraid of? What specific part of women makes you wish that women did not like you? :thinking:
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Whenever women flirt or otherwise give off signals to me (which i believe they are unless i'm mistaken, & is simply my fantasy that they are), i have some sort of attraction towards them, but i am always too slow to react in the moment, and i haven't the experience to flirt sucessfully, and i have some "deal breakers" as well so i am even more frustrated ... so the situation passes. This has been happening my entire life. Often so close, yet so far. I wish that i didn't feel the attraction, so then none of it would frustrate or "get" to me.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Megaten said:
Well Im almost done now actually. But first I got a BS in Biology and after I graduated I found it extremely difficult to find a job. Especially one that seems worth all the money I paid for the degree. Its just too general and I live in a bad area for it. I taking clinical laboratory science now and will be in a hospital setting too. Ill be doing something like your internship this spring. They're sending me out of town to shadow workers at a hospital but I have to pay for my own housing and food while working for free. And yeah Ive got loans now too. I swear the whole system just takes advantage of people. And thanks to the information explosion, people are being told they need more and more school to live comfortably. My dad got a job packing cigarettes with his high school diploma, but now they want college educated workers -___- .
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^ Man, that blows. I actually thought about changing my major to biology this year too, as I also love the subject and with hopes I'd be happier with it. But, like you said, it's hard to get a job with that degree, or at least it would be here too. Plus if I'd switch my major, I'd be looking at even more years before I graduated. The system here is seriously screwed up, no doubt. Everyone is told to go to college to "earn more!" Because it's all about the money. If you earn more, surely you'll be happier! I couldn't care less about making even just $50k if it left me seriously unhappy. Despite me only having 2 years left to go, I don't see myself finishing. I hate to say that, but I just don't. I hate what I'm doing and what I'm expected to do just to get that stupid piece of paper.

What's really fueling all this hate for college, besides a screwed up system, is that I'm having a shift of interest. Actually more like several shifts of interests. I enjoy nutrition, no doubt, but I'm more in love with plant biology and food science. And there is a HUGE difference between plant biology and food science as compared to learning nutrition, which I would've loved to have figured out in the first place before actually starting my major. Nutrition should touch base on these things, if ever so briefly, but at my college it does not and it has left me extremely disappointed.

I like knowing how our natural world works and where it comes from and how cooking and eating natural foods affects us and animals as a whole. Which is why I find so much joy in alternative medicine, food manufacturing, cooking, gardening, and even raising animals. I'm a bit of a hippie, come to think of it, but that's what makes me happy and honestly I would give anything to be able to pursue all those things. Even if pursuing jobs in this field left me with just enough to cover all my bills and a little pocket change, I'm sure I wouldn't mind. I'm not much of a materialistic person.

SoScared said:
@Phoenixx...your engaged now? Some things have moved on for you in the past few short years.
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Yes I am, have been for almost a year now. :) There are a lot more positive aspects in my life than there has been in the past, but unfortunately negativity easily clouds the good things. I am thankful for what I have, but I should express it more often.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
This is actually very accurate...
Ted Kazinski’s (Unabomber) Manifesto said:
THE POWER PROCESS

33. Human beings have a need (probably based in biology) for something that we will call the “power process.” This is closely related to the need for power (which is widely recognized) but is not quite the same thing. The power process has four elements. The three most clear-cut of these we call goal, effort and attainment of goal. (Everyone needs to have goals whose attainment requires effort, and needs to succeed in attaining at least some of his goals.) The fourth element is more difficult to define and may not be necessary for everyone. We call it autonomy and will discuss it later (paragraphs 42-44).

34. Consider the hypothetical case of a man who can have anything he wants just by wishing for it. Such a man has power, but he will develop serious psychological problems. At first he will have a lot of fun, but by and by he will become acutely bored and demoralized. Eventually he may become clinically depressed. History shows that leisured aristocracies tend to become decadent. This is not true of fighting aristocracies that have to struggle to maintain their power. But leisured, secure aristocracies that have no need to exert themselves usually become bored, hedonistic and demoralized, even though they have power. This shows that power is not enough. One must have goals toward which to exercise one’s power.

35. Everyone has goals; if nothing else, to obtain the physical necessities of life: food, water and whatever clothing and shelter are made necessary by the climate. But the leisured aristocrat obtains these things without effort. Hence his boredom and demoralization.

36. Nonattainment of important goals results in death if the goals are physical necessities, and in frustration if nonattainment of the goals is compatible with survival. Consistent failure to attain goals throughout life results in defeatism, low self-esteem or depression.

37, Thus, in order to avoid serious psychological problems, a human being needs goals whose attainment requires effort, and he must have a reasonable rate of success in attaining his goals.
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Seems that my emotional state is only ever "right" when under the influence (& of music). I then can see clearly what is usually totally f*cked-up & muddled, such as the sorry state of affairs of my true human needs .. of which i can feel but not necessarily name .. and you gotta name it to claim it. So i'm still f*cked, but at i'm at least peripherally aware of which general things might be f*cked-up. Not that i'm in any position to do a god-damn thing about it. :|
 
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Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I seriously need better time management. Skipping class today to finish my project that's due Friday, as I won't have any time to do it tomorrow. I had a whole month to do this and yet I barely did any of it until the last couple weeks.

This is the third class this month I've missed. :sad: First class I missed was because I was exhausted and did not want to make the 40 minute drive to college just for this one class, and then another I missed because I had an appointment. I should not be skipping so much in such a short period of time. :thumbdown:

(Sidenote: My exhaustion is really starting to concern me and makes me wonder if I should see a doctor. I recently have been catching up on my sleep, so I figure I should not be this tired after getting 8 hours of sleep last night and working on my feet for 5 hours straight already this morning.)
 
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