Please help, anxiety at work making me want to quit

Hi all.

I am new here and hoping that I can find some sort of resolution to my problem. All my life (I am 31 now) I have felt anxious, but recently things have been getting worse. I was due to do a presentation a few weeks ago to around 20 of my work colleagues. I started off ok, but then my mind went blank, my face went red, my heart started beating fast and I passed out! I have always been nervous about presentations, but nothing like this. Normally I have bullet points on a piece of paper, but I was looking at the words and they made no sense!

I tried putting it behind me as I was certain that I was just having an off day. However, today at work I had to give feedback about my team to around 10 or so people (again, many of whom are friends) and it started happening again! This time I didn't pass out, but I nearly did and I felt so stupid and embarrassed. Now, I have reasoned with myself that I am not stupid and that people won't think of me any less, but I don't *feel* it. I have now come home in tears and want to leave my job because of it (knowing full well that the problem won't go away). I just don't know what to do. I am now dreading my next weekly update. I'm telling myself not to continue worrying (because that would be a self fulling prophecy) but I just can't stop thinking about it. I've tried writing down my feelings, but I don't seem to feel any better.

My family don't realise how bad it is and I actually contemplated suicide when I couldn't do my presentation a few weeks ago. I feel utterly useless and bad at my job.

Any advice?

Don't quit: your life or your job. Order "The Happiness Trap" today from Borders or Amazon. It's a self-help workbook based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). When you're feeling better join Toastmasters.

Hello, I definitely know that feeling :?
You might want to give Inderal a try, it might help with situational anixety and its physical side effects. Please check with your doctor and ask him about it. Explain the issue to him and ask if you can take it for a test. It definitely helps me with such situations.

i know its hard.ive quit all my 6 jobs cuz of anxiety.my job i have now,sometimes i wanna quit cuz everyone seems to be uncomfrtable around e cuz i dont talk and im very anxious.but stick in there and u will get better.quitin makes it worse,trust me.also u should look into cognitive behavioral therapy.thats wut im doin and if u go through it with the desire to overcome it,u will

Thank you all for your positive feedback. I have noted down the book and medication.

Yes, cognitive behavioural therapy was suggested to me some years ago. How are you finding it? Are you in the US?

Thanks.

dont quit you will regret it

I have gone through similar experiences in my life. ie., Panic attacks

- You need to reframe your thinking.
ie., When you get a rash or fever etc you figure out a way to fix it.
This is no different. you dont think of ending your life. The embarrasment
causes tension/stress. Figure out a way to release this. Yoga etc.

- Find short term and long term solutions.

Short term Fix:
Here's something that has worked for me.
you can use on a High Social Pressure day or do it everyday
I had a presentation in front of 50 people & I pulled it off
On that day, I got up in the morning and ran like mofo. ie close to my high
heart rate Next, apply sesame oil on your body & massage it and leave it
on for 45 mins before taking bath. Let some of the oil remain on your body.

- Long term Fix:
I never wanted to use western drugs to fix this as they always have side effects
So I am going the route of lifestyle changes with Supplements
Diet : Fresh food(Very Important), Restrict Non Veg (Fish/eggs ok),
Nothing from the Fridge or stale food as it will worsen your anxiety
Breathing: Learn Pranayama (Yogic Breathing techniques to slow down your breath)
Meditate,
Supplements : experiment with these. I take B complex, calcium, Mg, Flax seed

Watch Other symptoms: Everything in the body is related.

I often feel like quitting my job, not because my job requires dealing with the public o'r giving presentations but because i just can't handle being with workmates for 9 hours a day. Sometimes i wish i had a job like a lighthouse keeper o'r something but of course they are all automated now.

jodiesmitham said:

Hi all.

I am new here and hoping that I can find some sort of resolution to my problem. All my life (I am 31 now) I have felt anxious, but recently things have been getting worse. I was due to do a presentation a few weeks ago to around 20 of my work colleagues. I started off ok, but then my mind went blank, my face went red, my heart started beating fast and I passed out! I have always been nervous about presentations, but nothing like this. Normally I have bullet points on a piece of paper, but I was looking at the words and they made no sense!

I tried putting it behind me as I was certain that I was just having an off day. However, today at work I had to give feedback about my team to around 10 or so people (again, many of whom are friends) and it started happening again! This time I didn't pass out, but I nearly did and I felt so stupid and embarrassed. Now, I have reasoned with myself that I am not stupid and that people won't think of me any less, but I don't *feel* it. I have now come home in tears and want to leave my job because of it (knowing full well that the problem won't go away). I just don't know what to do. I am now dreading my next weekly update. I'm telling myself not to continue worrying (because that would be a self fulling prophecy) but I just can't stop thinking about it. I've tried writing down my feelings, but I don't seem to feel any better.

My family don't realise how bad it is and I actually contemplated suicide when I couldn't do my presentation a few weeks ago. I feel utterly useless and bad at my job.

Any advice?

Click to expand...

Goodness me, that's hardcore. I really feel for you because I've had to do presentations like that and get really nervous. It affects my bowel movement, sleep patterns, and I sweat a lot in the build up to the presentation.

Nowadays a lot of people expect employees to want to progress into 'managerial roles' where public speaking is a must. However, there is no shame in wanting to be a team worker rather than a team leader. I'm sure you can do your job perfectly well in other respects. Perhaps you should talk to your boss about your problems. That will be tough I know, but if (s)he's any decent sort of person they will understand.

jodie,i only went once,but just the first day broadened my mind a little.we just talked about my problem,he gave me advice,then i asked i there were any advice he could give me to relax a lil more and he said to start at least one conversation.he told me when i left,to go in the waiting room and say hi to someone.i seemed indiffernt about it not knowing if i would or not,and when we walked into the waitin room i blurted out the dumbest sounding "im done"and it got awkward.to make it more awkward he introduced me ,right after that, to a 10 yr old girl and we both said hi.it was awkward and embarrassing,but it made me realize WHO CARES it was funny and it gave me that who cares wut people think feeling.im still anxious and shit,but im making progress.yes im in the US,u?

Hey there.

I've read a number of posts on forums and it looks like CBT is the way forward for most sufferers. I hear it can be long and painful (plus very expensive). I live in the UK and have been looking into the costs.

I've had a number of meetings this week at work and I am pleased to say I got through them all. However, it's not been easy and I don't actually think I am improving. I used someone's advice and tried to will the actual attack to happen. Believe it or not, this is supposed to stop the attack from happening (which it did). I also massaged the area of skin between the thumb and forefinger. This may of course be mind over matter, but the combination of these two tricks helped me. That said, after the meetings, I had to rush to the toilet as I was shaking so bad. After researching on the net, I have realised that anxiety has caused a number of problems for me throughout my life - stuff that I just put down to my personality. In fact, without this anxiety ball and chain, I reckon I would be a much happier person!

A friend of mine recommended that I see a guy who has experience in helping people with phobias. As I know I have a social phobia, I have contacted this guy (he is actually famous in the UK and the States). I won't mention his name (in case it is deemed free PR) but I will let you know if he is any good. He is costly, but he's helped a number of celebrities get over phobias and I'd rather pay a lump sum now rather than huge costs spread over years of counselling.

Mushawah, I think you're right. As soon as you stop caring what people think, you realise that it's actually ok. I am always beating myself up about not being perfect.

Jodie

By the way, I stumbled upon this website that may help others. It has some coping techniques at the bottom and some other interesting facts.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm

Jodie

recluse said:

I often feel like quitting my job, not because my job requires dealing with the public o'r giving presentations but because i just can't handle being with workmates for 9 hours a day. Sometimes i wish i had a job like a lighthouse keeper o'r something but of course they are all automated now.

Click to expand...

i feel the same. for me an 8 hour shift is too long to be out there among people. its such a strain. in my job i can work part time, so i do only 4-hour shifts. its still socially stressful but ok. often i do enjoy being with others at work, as most of the time otherwise i spend alone. but i cuuldnt do that every day. thankfully, i dont have to.

Do not quit you job, as a SA person you have got your job, congrulations!It is hard to find a job...There are a lot of shy people and they can do presentations with a small education...

I think you must go to doctor and he will give you medicines...And by the way, you should take lessons about presentation technics and how to talk to a group of people...

Do not cry, I can understand you, but whatelse you are feeling now I do not know but, it is inside you...You are feeling worse because of you...All the things are in your brain...

I feel the same way.

My anxiety was especially bad today. I have only been at my job for two months now, so I am still learning. Well today I was getting a lot of phone calls from clients where I wasn't sure how to help them. And two of the clients got pretty annoyed with me and hung up. I then felt like I was on the verge of tears until lunch time where I went home for lunch (luckily I live close) and I finally let it out and just started crying as soon as I got home for my lunch break.

I like the job alright, but it really is causing me major anxiety issues. I keep having that feeling like I want to quit, as well. And I just keep wishing that I could have a job where I didn't have to interact with others.

PhantomPod,

Yes, I can identify with those sorts of situations where you feel like others think you're an idiot. As you've only just started this job, you can't be expected to know everything and these clients were clearly impatient and unfriendly. Of course, we both know that this type of reasoning is ok, but it doesn't take away the dreadful feeling inside. I bet you've been thinking about that conversation since then and it's chipped away at your self confidence?

See, my personal problem is not with people per se, but looking stupid. When I am not at work, I tend to spend all my time with my boyfriend whom I feel comfortable with. However, with other people I become very concerned that they'll think I'm weird and stupid. Ah well.

There are some jobs that you can do without spending too much time with others - one of them being an author. Or, you could work from home with internet based stuff. I guess any type of job where you can work from home would be ideal.

Jodie

Yep, I of course could then not get the conversations out of my head and was beating myself up about it all day. That's one of the worst parts. Just not being able to let things go and constantly agonizing over things you've said and done in the past. And it also sucks when you know, logically, that your thoughts and obsessions over what others think of you is stupid, yet you can't help but have all of those thoughts and feelings.

I mean, honestly, my co-workers are all very nice, friendly, and helpful, yet that still barely seems to do anything when it comes to easing my anxieties. I was better today though, and boy am I glad that it's the weekend.

Well, I hope your job has been better the past couple days!

work

Hey jodiesmitham,
Thanks for sharing your story. Im having the same problems at work at the moment too, and sometimes its heart wrenching deciding whether to stick to the job or quit with the hope of things improving with a new one. My advice would be to view work and your anxiety as different issues, if you believe you can get a better job because your current one is stressing you out then go for it, but otherwise try and deal with your anxiety by doing what hapt said and seeing a doctor or a support group.
cheers

I've been quitting job after job for almost the last 10 years b/c of social phobia. The social pressures just mount and I get really self conscious about not building relationships with co-workers. But fortunately, I'm in a career that's in high demand that I've gotten away with it. Lately, though, interviewers are asking me why I've had so many jobs.

Hey Jodie, do you live in Calif? If so, I'd really like to know the name of that therapist. I've been looking for a good therapist for awhile now.

Hey all,

Schmoo, like you, I have been in and out of jobs for around 10 years and I am usually asked during interviews why I keep leaving jobs. My CV (resume) is lengthy so I am trying to stick it out where I am now. I live in the UK and have not seen the therapist yet (I have an appointment in a few weeks). This guy claims he can help with any phobia, so I'll let you know how it goes. He spends a great deal of time in the States, so if he is any good I will send you his details.

PhantomPod, yeah, the people where I work are very nice but it's a struggle to stay under the radar and not look stupid in any way. I have a meeting today, so I am hoping I stay calm.

Socially_Retarded, if I am honest with myself, this job is pretty good. The people are nice, the job is exciting and the company has a very good name. As there is a global economic crisis, I think leaving would be a bad idea. I am determined to work through this and find some way to relieve the pain inside (but I was dreading work this morning).

I went to see a doctor last week and did not receive a warm response to the problem. Mental health seems to be quite taboo. I don't like the idea of taking tablets for something that can be treated by training the mind to react differently. Maybe others have had a good experience with pills?

I hope everyone has a relaxing week.

Jodie