Paranoia

ColdAsIce

Well-known member
Your all probably going to think I have totally lost the plot here but Paranoia is something which I experience at different levels for example when I am out and about I do feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me, which obviously I know is SP related but also when I'm alone some times I still feel totally paranoid like there is something in the room with me, something out to get me. :oops:

Please can anyone relate to this?.....or am I a total looney??.... :oops:
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
*raises hand*
dont worry, im lie that too. sometimes its worse when im alone. only my brain to keep me busy.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
Hi there, i experience paranoid feelings, what makes me like this is that i think pepole are starring at me when ever thats when im out and about, also i feel the world is out to get me and bad things are going to happen, i dont know if my SA is related to me when i was abuse as a 12 year old, as that happend to me i was so scared and i would start getting paranoid thinking that pepole know what happend to me or they might think this and that, i would allways care on what other pepole think. My attacker told me not to say anything, but i held that in me for 5 years not telling anyone what happend, at last im getting help with what happend to me, also there is one thing when i smoke dope i get really edgy and can get panicky maybe that dont help at all so im going to give it up, i have gave up for 3 weeks before and then when i think im feeling better i think it will be ok for me to smoke dope, i have done that a few times now, i do realise that its making my SA alot more worse. Thanks for reading i know its a long thred but i feel better for typing this all out.
 

mole

Member
I get paranoid too. The levels differ depending on how I am feeling, or how my subconscious is telling me I am going to react.
Some times when I walk down the street or cross the road and there
are people sitting in their cars in traffic I can feel like I am on some sort of stage and that everyone is looking at me. It feels like my legs have turned to jelly and that I no longer can control them properly, making me feel like I could collapse at any moment.
Other times I sit at home with this feeling of dread, like there is something terrible about to happen but I can’t exactly explain what.
It can get really difficult in restaurants. I could be in a big restaurant but somehow it’s as if everything and everyone has become incredibly close and I feel as if people are watching and scrutinizing my each and every move. I find myself feeling so awkward. I become incredibly stiff and jumpy and start to tremble. If I have ordered something to drink and the waiter brings it to me I won’t touch it because I know I will shake and tremble which I worry about letting people see because I feel it will show people how nervous I am feeling which to me is a sign of weakness etc.
I don’t want to appear different than anyone else but I sometimes feel that people can see straight through me and know that I am quite mad.
The thing is during this whole process I can still think rationally and know that things aren’t as they seem but it doesn’t sit with the irrational part of my mind which tells me otherwise.
I know that it might be false realities appearing real but it is like I programmed a tape which plays silently in the back of my mind getting me to react in the same anxious way. I don’t have control of the on/off switch. Some other part of me has that and turns it on at it’s will.
However real it might not be it is my present reality. However hard I try and think my way out of it, I don’t get anywhere, like being in some mind maze that I created myself.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
im still nervous when im alone. is like im eating my cornflakes and suddenly my body starts to shake because im thinkin somethin to vivid. my imagination make it real for some seconds. even though there are sometimes when im not thinkin anything bad at all and i still shake.
the line between being paranoid and realistic is not that clear to me yet.
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
i'm paranoid too but more in the sense that i've seen one too many horror movies. i'm afraid of the dark and feel like something's going to grab me when i'm in bed. i once took Abilify for paranoia at one time to find out if i had it. nothing.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
i get paranoid too, sometimes i even think cameras have been planted at my place of work. I tend to make a joke of it in front of my work colleagues and they laugh, but when left to my own thoughts i really do believe it
 

deadphish

Member
mole said:
It can get really difficult in restaurants. I could be in a big restaurant but somehow it’s as if everything and everyone has become incredibly close and I feel as if people are watching and scrutinizing my each and every move. I find myself feeling so awkward. I become incredibly stiff and jumpy and start to tremble. If I have ordered something to drink and the waiter brings it to me I won’t touch it because I know I will shake and tremble which I worry about letting people see because I feel it will show people how nervous I am feeling which to me is a sign of weakness etc.
Man...this is SOOOO ME. What type of treatment are you recieving (if you don't mind me asking)?
 

mole

Member
[/quote]
Man...this is SOOOO ME. What type of treatment are you recieving (if you don't mind me asking)?[/quote]

I have tried pretty well much everything under the sun. From CBT,tapes books to counseling and allot of different pills.
The only thing that combats it for me is Xanax. I used to take valium but got v.addicted for over six years.
For some unexplained reason I haven't become addicted to Xanax.
The way I have dealt with things really is just using a plaster to cover the all the shit underneath. If I have an interview I take xanax. If I have to go for a social event I again take xanax. Knowing I have something stops me waking up anxious thinking about what it is I have to do that day because I know that I have something that will stop the sp. There is probably an answer to my sp somewhere but I have looked under allot of rocks if you know what I mean.
Sometimes I run out of Xanax and have to do something I find difficult. If it gets too bad I make an excuse and leave (after many years I have practically written a small excuse book on reasons why I have too leave, a bit like the one I wrote for the reason as to why my homework has not been handed in!)
This is what, at the moment is working for me. We are all different so something that may not of worked for me doesn't mean it won't work for you. If you havent tried allot of the therapies available it might be better going down that route first as the pills are really only a covering plaster and as I wrote some are highly addictive and at the end can make things a whole lot worse.
 
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