Old 07-08-2012
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I mixed my Prozac with Vodka last night and I blacked out for a little over an hour...when I came around I was crying to my siblings about this girl I met a year ago on an LGBTQ website. Apparently I was telling them how much I love her and that I want to be with her...It's not that it's not true, because I really do love her and if she and I lived closer I would totally be open to dating her. She and I talk about it a lot, so it's definitely mutual - which is a first for me - so I should be happy. Guess maybe the prospect of being in my first relationship and with a girl (another first) just scares the crap out of me. Maybe I'm panicking because I verbalized it and it makes it more real.

Wow...I think I just might be in love with her...cue another panic attack. ahhh.
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I would probably, especially if I did not no much about the persons personality. I would be afriad of rejection.
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I would probably, especially if I did not no much about the persons personality. I would be afriad of rejection.
I'm not afraid of her rejecting me. We've been talking about getting together for about a year now. I am about 80% sure she likes me too.
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Well, in a relationship, you make yourself completely vulnerable to the other person. Is that what you fear and panic about? Expressing the "true you" to her and placing her heart in your hands, knowing she could either accept it or tear it to shreds?

Of course, I don't really know you, so I could be completely off-base.
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Well, in a relationship, you make yourself completely vulnerable to the other person. Is that what you fear and panic about? Expressing the "true you" to her and placing her heart in your hands, knowing she could either accept it or tear it to shreds?

Of course, I don't really know you, so I could be completely off-base.
Yeah, I am definitely scared of being vulnerable to someone. I'm talking to her right now I want so badly to pull away but on the other hand I want to talk to her.

Ugh. Confliction.
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Yeah, I am definitely scared of being vulnerable to someone. I'm talking to her right now I want so badly to pull away but on the other hand I want to talk to her.

Ugh. Confliction.
You've got to open up to her and trust her a bit, you know? If she hasn't given you any reason to believe that she might hurt you, then give her the benefit of the doubt and hand over your heart to her. Otherwise, you may be the one who ends up hurting her.
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Yeah, I am definitely scared of being vulnerable to someone. I'm talking to her right now I want so badly to pull away but on the other hand I want to talk to her.

Ugh. Confliction.
Dont pull away or close up cause youll hurt her somehow
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We're not officially in a relationship or anything; I really don't know why I am freaking out.
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We're not officially in a relationship or anything; I really don't know why I am freaking out.
You're freaking out because the desire to be in a relationship with her is there. No matter if it's online or real life, it's still a relationship and should be treated as such.
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You're freaking out because the desire to be in a relationship with her is there. No matter if it's online or real life, it's still a relationship and should be treated as such.
Too right.
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