burdeninyourhands
Active member
I'm hyperventilating as I write this. Its been almost 2 weeks now since this Guy I met off plentyoffish.com played a disappearing act on me which seems to be the method of choice for every blind mind that ever found me attractive enough to stay for longer than 1 night. I don't value myself very much so any man that shows lust for me I generally give in, but very few do so I don't sleep around. This Guy contacted me on pof looking for a long term relationship. This sounded like a breath of fresh air because I've been alone in a search for a serious partner for years, I've been having a sexual relationship with this 1 Guy with a slight speach problem and no common sense so icwas really respective to his inquiry. Due to mu height and weight 511 210 I find it hard to date but me and this Guy had everything in common, I prayed to God for a man like him. When I first met him he was without a job and he spent all his time with me, he recently got hired at a cellphone company that was off the books and worked him 15 hours a day (He claimed) so I would go up to a week without seeing him
But when we did it was passionate and caring I thought. A hurricane hit NYC 2weeks ago and we made love passionately and then he disappeared. I think he grew embarrassed of my appearance. As his work grew more extensive and he contacted me less I asked him if he wanted to break up and gave him ample space without pressure (cuz I know men don't like that) I offered to break up with him but he didn't want that. If he wanted to just have a sexual relationship that would have been fine. Why did he do this!? He didn't even grant me closure. No man in my life ever stuck around. I deleted his friendship on Facebook after I realised he played the screw and run game, then I realised he blocked me. He went through all that trouble to block me after he told me he hardly used Facebook buthe wouldn't even add me as his girlfriend on there. I feel like a fool totally lied to and munipulated for fun like men love to do with overweight girls. I really gave up on dating and human contact. I haven't made eye contact with anyone in days I just want to. die. Even if God granted me happiness at this point I wouldn't even want it due to the sadness and anger that in my life is always better than that moment of blindness that you called happiness. I gained 10 pounds and have no interest in human contact. I am praying everyday foe my death. I was so stupid as to think I can ever find someone who would not only be attracted to be but not be ashamed of me and want something long term. I have no family that's. Alive I think gods plan is to keep me from having a family and to be miserable and lonely. Some people have to be that way so ur holidays are more meaningful
/end rant thanks for reading
But when we did it was passionate and caring I thought. A hurricane hit NYC 2weeks ago and we made love passionately and then he disappeared. I think he grew embarrassed of my appearance. As his work grew more extensive and he contacted me less I asked him if he wanted to break up and gave him ample space without pressure (cuz I know men don't like that) I offered to break up with him but he didn't want that. If he wanted to just have a sexual relationship that would have been fine. Why did he do this!? He didn't even grant me closure. No man in my life ever stuck around. I deleted his friendship on Facebook after I realised he played the screw and run game, then I realised he blocked me. He went through all that trouble to block me after he told me he hardly used Facebook buthe wouldn't even add me as his girlfriend on there. I feel like a fool totally lied to and munipulated for fun like men love to do with overweight girls. I really gave up on dating and human contact. I haven't made eye contact with anyone in days I just want to. die. Even if God granted me happiness at this point I wouldn't even want it due to the sadness and anger that in my life is always better than that moment of blindness that you called happiness. I gained 10 pounds and have no interest in human contact. I am praying everyday foe my death. I was so stupid as to think I can ever find someone who would not only be attracted to be but not be ashamed of me and want something long term. I have no family that's. Alive I think gods plan is to keep me from having a family and to be miserable and lonely. Some people have to be that way so ur holidays are more meaningful
/end rant thanks for reading