Hellhound
Super Moderator
I just returned home after a massive change in my routine.
I had a talk with someone really important to me today. He knows about my anxiety problems, but I wanted to give him a more detailed description of what it is like, because if we ever meet in person, I don't want him to have an unpleasant surprise if my anxiety acts up. At the same time, I thought that I should do something to try and fix myself, for his sake and my own.
Anyway, as a test, here's what I did today. I majorly risked it and stepped out of my comfort zone, alone, after years and years of never doing it.
I was at the cafeteria with my mother, and when we had to leave, I told her to go back home, I was going to go somewhere else to see if I could do it. She gave me her cellphone in case I needed help.
I just started walking around, asked random people what time it was (I had a watch, I just did it because reasons), walked some more, got lost, kept walking around anyway, looking at the stuff in the stores, etc. I was really scared because I had no friggin' idea of where I was. I wasn't far away, I just have a hard time guiding myself when the place doesn't look familiar, and I fail at following street names because my mind goes blank.
So... for a moment, I wished I had enough money on me because I saw some really epic things in the shops. That thought distracted my mind from the fact that I was as lost as a nun in a brothel.
When I felt like returning home, well... yeah. How the hell was I supposed to return? By instinct, I asked a random old lady where so and so place was. She pointed and told me where I had to go, I went there, place still looked unfamiliar, I was scared sh¡tless. I asked someone else, I was guided again, followed instructions and went in the direction they told me. I asked two more people for guidance, just in case, to make sure I was going in the right direction.
Finally, I saw stores I was familiar with, then I knew where I was. I relaxed my mind and walked back home. On the way back, I bought some cake.
Moral of the story: Hellhound is kamikaze.
I had a talk with someone really important to me today. He knows about my anxiety problems, but I wanted to give him a more detailed description of what it is like, because if we ever meet in person, I don't want him to have an unpleasant surprise if my anxiety acts up. At the same time, I thought that I should do something to try and fix myself, for his sake and my own.
Anyway, as a test, here's what I did today. I majorly risked it and stepped out of my comfort zone, alone, after years and years of never doing it.
I was at the cafeteria with my mother, and when we had to leave, I told her to go back home, I was going to go somewhere else to see if I could do it. She gave me her cellphone in case I needed help.
I just started walking around, asked random people what time it was (I had a watch, I just did it because reasons), walked some more, got lost, kept walking around anyway, looking at the stuff in the stores, etc. I was really scared because I had no friggin' idea of where I was. I wasn't far away, I just have a hard time guiding myself when the place doesn't look familiar, and I fail at following street names because my mind goes blank.
So... for a moment, I wished I had enough money on me because I saw some really epic things in the shops. That thought distracted my mind from the fact that I was as lost as a nun in a brothel.
When I felt like returning home, well... yeah. How the hell was I supposed to return? By instinct, I asked a random old lady where so and so place was. She pointed and told me where I had to go, I went there, place still looked unfamiliar, I was scared sh¡tless. I asked someone else, I was guided again, followed instructions and went in the direction they told me. I asked two more people for guidance, just in case, to make sure I was going in the right direction.
Finally, I saw stores I was familiar with, then I knew where I was. I relaxed my mind and walked back home. On the way back, I bought some cake.
Moral of the story: Hellhound is kamikaze.
