Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah take it ye understood maist o' it? Or are ye just applauding the effortless use of the c-word? :bigsmile:
Och aye the noo
- Thread starter Graeme1988
- Start date
Ah take it ye understood maist o' it? Or are ye just applauding the effortless use of the c-word? :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Last edited:
Kiwong
Well-known member
I did understand most of it, and I liked the exchange between Darth and Leia best of all.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Darth Vader lookin' like Dracula wi' a bucket on his heid... :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Bill Bailey - Scottish people are from the future
^ This brilliant piece of stand-up comedy is actually very accurate. Coz we Scots use the "Is that you?" quite a lot. :bigsmile:
^ This brilliant piece of stand-up comedy is actually very accurate. Coz we Scots use the "Is that you?" quite a lot. :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah think ah've run oot uh things tae say...? :idontknow: Which is both good and bad...
Good, in the sense that, ah usually say the wrong thing 99.9% of time. And bad, in that, it shows how dull and borin' ah really um.
Why some many people ah vaguely know - family, in yer wondering - think so highly of me, ah will never know...
Good, in the sense that, ah usually say the wrong thing 99.9% of time. And bad, in that, it shows how dull and borin' ah really um.
Why some many people ah vaguely know - family, in yer wondering - think so highly of me, ah will never know...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Eh, uhm... :thinking: Nut, still huv'nae got anythin' interestin' tae say. But then, that me - boring as f**k.
Well, actually ah huv been ponderin' how ah'll be remember when am deid and gone, if remembered at all?
Though, on the mair positive side uh things, ah've got the programme fur the Edinburgh Fringe - thinkin' of going back tae see a few comedy shows this year. After a couple of "humilating" incidents during 2009. Am slightly pissed off tae find oot that a venue in Edinburgh ah hud inititally thought didnae huv disabled access, actually does. :kickingmyself:
Well, actually ah huv been ponderin' how ah'll be remember when am deid and gone, if remembered at all?
Though, on the mair positive side uh things, ah've got the programme fur the Edinburgh Fringe - thinkin' of going back tae see a few comedy shows this year. After a couple of "humilating" incidents during 2009. Am slightly pissed off tae find oot that a venue in Edinburgh ah hud inititally thought didnae huv disabled access, actually does. :kickingmyself:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Bill Bailey, the bald guy with the long hair.
Aye, he's great, isn't he? Surreal comedy at it's finest. :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hiya, hullo. Ye awright, aye? Coz ah'm no' as ye can probably tell. Still writin' Scots dialect fur some odd reason. But ye git use tae efter awhile.
Ah've been lettin' ma depression, anxiety an' low self-esteem issues git me doon, lately. Ah know, ah shouldnae, but, we aw huv bad days, don't we? So, once again, ah've got naff all tae say. And yet ah'm typin' this incredibly boring, self-aware, self-conscious pish. But then, ah think that says a lot aboot me.
Should really huv got oot the hoose the past couple uh days and went fur a wee wander aboot in ma wheelchair - but ah couldnae be arsed. Typical uh me really, procrastinatin' an' aw that.
But then, there isnae much in ma town tae do, in terms uh gan oot - except mibbe gan tae the shops or gan oot an' get shit-faced drunk on the weekend, y'know. But then that yer typical Friday night, innit? Never saw the appeal uh gan oot an' gittin' drunk, maself. Except fur that time when ah wuz 14 - ma cousin's weddin' reception. Buckin' hell! What a night... ah tell ye aboot it at some point. Well, ah gie (gee) ye the abridged, shorted version o' what ah remember fae that night.
No' the now coz ah'll need tae ask other family member what they remember. Coz as y'know a great story lies in the detail and we Scots huv a habit uh tellin' long-winded stories that seemingly gan naewhere. Y'know like maist uh ma posts on here. :bigsmile:
Ah think ah'll end this post wi' some slightly cheery news an' tell ye what ah've got planned fur ma summer holidays. No' really gan anyway, except Edinburgh. Sorry, that jist made me laugh coz uh summit ma mum said yesterday, when ma sister had here car parked just ootside the King's Arms Hotel and in replied tae ma sister's question: "Is there anythin' comin'?" Ma mum replied: "No. But there's a yella car"
So, aye, anyway... Gan up tae Edinburgh fur the Edinborough Fringe Festival again, 5 years after ah first went, but that's another story. Ah tell ye aboot that anaw at some point. Commuttin' back an' forth fae the Scottish Borders tae Edinborough, jist like ah use tae went ah was a wee lad - but ah mentioned that previously.
*Deliberate misspellin' of Edinborough is jist me affectationally takin' is the piss oot uh how some folk - mainly Americans - pronounce that city's name.
Right am off afore this post gits any longer.
Ah've been lettin' ma depression, anxiety an' low self-esteem issues git me doon, lately. Ah know, ah shouldnae, but, we aw huv bad days, don't we? So, once again, ah've got naff all tae say. And yet ah'm typin' this incredibly boring, self-aware, self-conscious pish. But then, ah think that says a lot aboot me.
Should really huv got oot the hoose the past couple uh days and went fur a wee wander aboot in ma wheelchair - but ah couldnae be arsed. Typical uh me really, procrastinatin' an' aw that.
But then, there isnae much in ma town tae do, in terms uh gan oot - except mibbe gan tae the shops or gan oot an' get shit-faced drunk on the weekend, y'know. But then that yer typical Friday night, innit? Never saw the appeal uh gan oot an' gittin' drunk, maself. Except fur that time when ah wuz 14 - ma cousin's weddin' reception. Buckin' hell! What a night... ah tell ye aboot it at some point. Well, ah gie (gee) ye the abridged, shorted version o' what ah remember fae that night.
No' the now coz ah'll need tae ask other family member what they remember. Coz as y'know a great story lies in the detail and we Scots huv a habit uh tellin' long-winded stories that seemingly gan naewhere. Y'know like maist uh ma posts on here. :bigsmile:
Ah think ah'll end this post wi' some slightly cheery news an' tell ye what ah've got planned fur ma summer holidays. No' really gan anyway, except Edinburgh.
Sorry, that jist made me laugh coz uh summit ma mum said yesterday, when ma sister had here car parked just ootside the King's Arms Hotel and in replied tae ma sister's question: "Is there anythin' comin'?" Ma mum replied: "No. But there's a yella car"So, aye, anyway... Gan up tae Edinburgh fur the Edinborough Fringe Festival again, 5 years after ah first went, but that's another story. Ah tell ye aboot that anaw at some point. Commuttin' back an' forth fae the Scottish Borders tae Edinborough, jist like ah use tae went ah was a wee lad - but ah mentioned that previously.
*Deliberate misspellin' of Edinborough is jist me affectationally takin' is the piss oot uh how some folk - mainly Americans - pronounce that city's name.
Right am off afore this post gits any longer.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Oh, and yin mair thing, right...
See Scotland becomes independent - does that mean we can keep oor sense uh humour? :bigsmile: Alex Samond would git mair votes fur Scottish independence if he made better argument - ie, "You give us independence from the rest of the UK, and in exchange, we'll give you oor crap weather climate"
Chewin The Fat - Weather Report - YouTube
See Scotland becomes independent - does that mean we can keep oor sense uh humour? :bigsmile: Alex Samond would git mair votes fur Scottish independence if he made better argument - ie, "You give us independence from the rest of the UK, and in exchange, we'll give you oor crap weather climate"
Chewin The Fat - Weather Report - YouTube
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah just remembered it'll be 2 years - aye, that's right - last month since ma da' passed away. Completely forgot aboot that, slipped ma mind. F**k, doesn't time fly, eh? Ah dinnae really miss 'em aw that much, if at all. Ah know that might seem like a bad thing tae say o' uh parent. But then, ah never hud the same kinda relationship wi' ma dad, compared tae ma step siblings.
Nae idea why ah'm daein' a post aboot ma dad, like? Just a quick wee thought.
Ah know, ah usually jist talk sh*te, or tell vaguely amusing jokes or true stories. But ah cannae think uh any funny jokes - jist huv make do wi' stories that involve me makin' a total numpty o' masel'. Which, if ye knew in real life, isnae anythin' new. :bigsmile:
Nae idea why ah'm daein' a post aboot ma dad, like? Just a quick wee thought.
Ah know, ah usually jist talk sh*te, or tell vaguely amusing jokes or true stories. But ah cannae think uh any funny jokes - jist huv make do wi' stories that involve me makin' a total numpty o' masel'. Which, if ye knew in real life, isnae anythin' new. :bigsmile:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
No' daein' too well... Hope this depression passes soon. :sad: Been feelin' really tired, lately. Lackin' in motivation anaw, which isnae great.
Ah try an' force masel' tae git oot the hoose an' gan fur a wander in ma electric wheelchair, but, sometimes, ah jist dinnae see the point.
Ah try an' force masel' tae git oot the hoose an' gan fur a wander in ma electric wheelchair, but, sometimes, ah jist dinnae see the point.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
F**kin' roastin' ootside. Sweatin' like, eh... Och! Ah cannae think o' a funny enough analogy. The point is we Scots cannae stand the warm weather coz we're mair used tae it rainin' aw the time. That why whenever it's really warm we usual say: "Ah cannae take much mair uh this heat..."
Anyway, ah've no' been up tae much - jist gittin' the rest uh ma tickets booked fur the Edinburgh Festival. Ah know, excitin' innit? Oooh, ah cannae wait.
Aside frae that, ah've decided tae grow ma moustache again. Felt weird no' huvin' the hairy caterpillar on ma top lips. But enough uh ma borin' pish, coz ah know whit yer thinkin', yer gan: "C'mon wee man, gie us yin uh yer story..." Keep in mind, maist uh ma story 're quite embarrassin' - but the comedy of embarrassment usually works. Oooh! Feel the suspense buildin'.
Right, park yer arse in comfy chair, and git ready tae laugh, if yer no' already? So, here we f**kin' go...
Anyway, ah've no' been up tae much - jist gittin' the rest uh ma tickets booked fur the Edinburgh Festival. Ah know, excitin' innit? Oooh, ah cannae wait.
Aside frae that, ah've decided tae grow ma moustache again. Felt weird no' huvin' the hairy caterpillar on ma top lips. But enough uh ma borin' pish, coz ah know whit yer thinkin', yer gan: "C'mon wee man, gie us yin uh yer story..." Keep in mind, maist uh ma story 're quite embarrassin' - but the comedy of embarrassment usually works. Oooh! Feel the suspense buildin'.
Right, park yer arse in comfy chair, and git ready tae laugh, if yer no' already? So, here we f**kin' go...
Attachments
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
So, as ye cun probably tell frae that picture - ah huv'nae changed much. Jist got a haircut. :bigsmile:
Also, ah still remember the names uh the other folk in that photo anaw. They were in the same registration/social education class as me. The irony of the "Investor In People" slogan'll be explained in a later story...
Ah must've been 15 when that school photo wuz taken - aye, that'd be aboot right. It wuz the day, ah wuz made school prefect. Ah mean, it seem like a good idea, at the time, frae the teacher that put ma name forward fur the position. Coz ah wuz daein' reasonably well in ma classes.
But makin' me school prefect would be a bit like tryin' tae git Jeffrey Dahmer tae become a vegan. Or askin' Peter Sutcliffe tae help ye build summit ye bought frae Ikea. Basically, what ah sayin' is, me as school wuz a bad idea.
Coz ah didnae huv a great deal uh confidence in masel' at the time, anyway. Plus, ma voice doesnae huv the authority tae instill discipline. The only plus side of being a prefect wuz, ye got oot uh class a few minute earlier tae huv yer break and git yer lunch. Coz you hud tae be protrollin' the hall and stairways efter everybuddy made their way oot the cafeteria or came bargin' oot the assembly hall.
Gan: "Right, don't push" or "Keep tae the right if yer comin' up the stairs or tae the left yer gan doon" Ah never did any uh that, ah jist stood there givin' the appearance that ah knew whit ah wuz daein'.
Ah cun remember yin time, ma computer studies teacher actually did ma job fur me: There wuz a group younger lads pushing their way up the stairs - like in 1st year - and they got telt off. Followed by ma computer studies sayin' tae me: "That's how it's done, Graeme - git the wee basturds telt" :bigsmile:
By the way, that's jist yin memory frae ma high school days, ah've got a few mair tales tae tell, assume youse want tae hear them? Aye, ye dae... Of course, ye do.
Also, ah still remember the names uh the other folk in that photo anaw. They were in the same registration/social education class as me. The irony of the "Investor In People" slogan'll be explained in a later story...
Ah must've been 15 when that school photo wuz taken - aye, that'd be aboot right. It wuz the day, ah wuz made school prefect. Ah mean, it seem like a good idea, at the time, frae the teacher that put ma name forward fur the position. Coz ah wuz daein' reasonably well in ma classes.
But makin' me school prefect would be a bit like tryin' tae git Jeffrey Dahmer tae become a vegan. Or askin' Peter Sutcliffe tae help ye build summit ye bought frae Ikea. Basically, what ah sayin' is, me as school wuz a bad idea.
Coz ah didnae huv a great deal uh confidence in masel' at the time, anyway. Plus, ma voice doesnae huv the authority tae instill discipline. The only plus side of being a prefect wuz, ye got oot uh class a few minute earlier tae huv yer break and git yer lunch. Coz you hud tae be protrollin' the hall and stairways efter everybuddy made their way oot the cafeteria or came bargin' oot the assembly hall.
Gan: "Right, don't push" or "Keep tae the right if yer comin' up the stairs or tae the left yer gan doon" Ah never did any uh that, ah jist stood there givin' the appearance that ah knew whit ah wuz daein'.
Ah cun remember yin time, ma computer studies teacher actually did ma job fur me: There wuz a group younger lads pushing their way up the stairs - like in 1st year - and they got telt off. Followed by ma computer studies sayin' tae me: "That's how it's done, Graeme - git the wee basturds telt" :bigsmile:
By the way, that's jist yin memory frae ma high school days, ah've got a few mair tales tae tell, assume youse want tae hear them? Aye, ye dae... Of course, ye do.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah dinnae want tae become to prolific an' dae post efter post in such a short space uh time.
So ah think ah jist pace masel', y'know. Take ma time n' that.
Any questions so far...? :sarcastic:
So ah think ah jist pace masel', y'know. Take ma time n' that.
Any questions so far...? :sarcastic:
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
I am having an otherwise emotional moment then I see a pic of you-how adorable and look at the dazzling smile, that made my night better. TY.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Awww... Thanks :
: Ah don't know whit else tae say. Wuz'nae expectin' that tae be honest. Ah didnae realise ah hud that affect on folk. Anyway, ah'm glad yer feelin' a wee bit better. :thumbup:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Russell Brand's blabbermouth stand-up - Russell Brand On the Road - BBC Four Documentary
^ Just an short clip from a documentary Russell Brand did a few years ago in tribute to Jack Kerouac's novel On the Road. What he says near the end of this clip is something, ah think, those of us with social anxiety could do to remember when we're feelin' overwhelmed.
^ Just an short clip from a documentary Russell Brand did a few years ago in tribute to Jack Kerouac's novel On the Road. What he says near the end of this clip is something, ah think, those of us with social anxiety could do to remember when we're feelin' overwhelmed.